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Kids are starting to act out...

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griefandrelief posted 2/13/2014 11:43 AM

My DD17 just got sent to the principal for being disrespectful in class to her teacher. My DD15 is yelling and screaming and hitting everything that makes her mad, and blaming me now that she can't see her dad because he lives with the OW and her 4 kids and I specified that my kids were to have no contact with her, her kids, or her house in any way. Both have been sick and barely to school since this happened (thank goodness one week was mostly snow days or I'd be arrested for allowing truancy), they have been having pain throughout their bodies, and oldest has been sick for 10 months, with lots of doctors trying to figure out what is wrong (we are beginning to suspect MS now - after all this time). And WH nowhere to be found. He knew DD17 was going to have a heart monitor and EKG set up, and hasn't asked about it at all.

I hate that the kids are bearing the brunt of this awful time and that I can do nothing to help them. Both have intakes with IC this afternoon, so that could help. But I am only one person - I have help from my parents, but they don't really see how much pain this is for us b/c they always disliked WH and are happy he is "gone". They have less patience with my girls than I do and it just sucks.

When I'm home, all they want to do is cuddle with me - or fight with one another when they feel they haven't had enough time alone with me. There is so much screaming and yelling and hitting - so many pent up emotions that are bubbling to the surface and are really, really dangerous. I don't know what to do - and I have to be away all next week for work, so they will have to stay with my parents, which they don't really want to do.

I wish that F'ed up WH (STBXH) had REALLY thought through all of the consequences of his decision before he jumped - he only thought of his own, selfish and self-righteous self and his little head was doing all of the thinking. DAMN HIM!

veronique12 posted 2/13/2014 11:55 AM


I'm sorry you and your family are going through this. My kids are very young and even though my oldest one has overheard some really heated arguments, they just aren't old enough to get it. So I can only imagine how hard it must be when they do.

Just continue to love them and let them feel. Your WH is behaving like a jerk but you aren't. You are THERE for them and are helping them through this. Your kids may not be able to verbalize this now, but when they get older I bet they will.

Hang in there...
Sending warm wishes to your DDs.

scarednbroken posted 2/13/2014 13:00 PM

The teen tears are so tough. My kids are going though the same. DS17 knows what is going on through his own discovery, and is angry that I am not getting WH out fast enough. DD15 is feeling the negative energy in the house, the stress is getting to her. DS13 has totally withdrawn into himself. He won't talk to anyone, his grades are suffering.

All you can do is do you best to be there for them. It's hard, but try to set aside time each day to talk it out with them if you can. I have been making an effort to connect with the three kids and have seen some improvement in DD15, but not the boys. Hopefully if I keep at it it will get better.

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