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one2ndchance posted 2/13/2014 14:17 PM

1. Did you know that your spouse had cheated in a previous relationship before you married him/her?

2. Did you find out AFTER you married that he/she had cheated in a previous marriage?

3. If your XWS was about to remarry, would you inform or warn his/her fiancee?

PhantomLimb posted 2/13/2014 14:50 PM

1. He tried to cheat with me. I met him in graduate school and he was already dating a girl in the class. I told him he had to break it off with the other girl before I'd ever entertain seeing him. He did. I made him wait several weeks and then we started dating.

2. In retrospect, I think he did. He was engaged before I met him and occasionally he'd mention this other woman he had slept with (in the context of our sexual history). The former fiancee was a college girlfriend, so I realized after I found out about his A that the two relationships had to overlap. Don't know why I didn't put that together before DDay.

3. No. I'm firm on NC. Besides, if it's COW, she knows.

careerlady posted 2/13/2014 15:05 PM

1. No I was his first relationship according to him
2. No, see above
3. If she asked me directly or wanted to know why we broke up, etc. if we didn''t have any sort of relationship i''d just look vindictive. DS is so young that a good relationship with both of them would be very important to me. But, I wouldn't lie

[This message edited by careerlady at 3:05 PM, February 13th, 2014 (Thursday)]

StillLivin posted 2/13/2014 15:09 PM

1. In a previous M, no. I did not know. I knew when he was very young he was a player. He grew up a lot over the 12 years and no longer acted like an arrogant idiot when I agreed to start dating him.
2. I found out after DD from one of his sisters that he cheated and abandoned his 1st wife for his 2d wife. His 2d wife cheated on him and did him so dirty. He was devastated. When we started dating, he was recovering from the trauma of his 2d wife's A and abandonment. She did the same things to him that 10 years later he did to me.
3. If he remarries Shrek, she knows he is a cheater because she is his AP. Once we sell the house, I will completely disappear on his cheatinass. Therefore, I will not know anything about his life. God help the poor woman he marries after me....except Shrek, she deserves whatever she gets.

SBB posted 2/13/2014 15:13 PM

1. Yes.
2. before, not after.
3. No. Because I would not have listened. I was 'special' y'see? As described in "She's Special" - 2nd article down.

http://psychopathyawareness.wordpress.com/2011/12/20/a-vain-fantasy-his-one-true-love-the-exception-that-confirms-the-rule/


LisaP posted 2/13/2014 15:13 PM

1. Did you know that your spouse had cheated in a previous relationship before you married him/her?

NO. He was from a different state and recently moved to my area. I did not meet anyone from his past until our wedding day.

2. Did you find out AFTER you married that he/she had cheated in a previous marriage?

No. He was never married prior and again, I didn't know any of his friends from past in order to find out this kind of information.

3. If your XWS was about to remarry, would you inform or warn his/her fiancee?

He is remarried and the way I see it, it's none of my business. If she had come to me and asked, I would have been honest with her. I suspect she may have unknowingly been an OW. They have been together for 4 years + now and I have never met her. He keeps her hidden away from me...scared maybe I will spill I do know she has "concerns" about his behavior. She is where I was at. It took a long time for the truth to land in my lap.

BAB61 posted 2/13/2014 15:25 PM

1. Did you know that your spouse had cheated in a previous relationship before you married him/her?

Yes, he told me he cheated on a gf because he wanted to break up with her and she was psycho.

2. Did you find out AFTER you married that he/she had cheated in a previous marriage?

It wasn't a marriage and it was before we got married, he told me that he felt terrible to break it off that way, but he didn't see any other way (now I know he was lying!)

3. If your XWS was about to remarry, would you inform or warn his/her fiancee?

If she asked me I would tell her. Would I call her up and spill? I don't know, since we are not yet divorced, it's hard to make that determination. If he was trying to shove a 'step-mother' in my kid's face, maybe.

Nature_Girl posted 2/13/2014 16:01 PM

1 - No

2 - Yes

3 - I would if I could do it anonymously and not get any blow back on me or my children (because he's evil & vindictive).

IrishLass518 posted 2/13/2014 16:21 PM

1. No
2. No
3. Nope, I let the OW have him. She knew that he cheated on me and she will get what she deserves.

Gemini71 posted 2/13/2014 17:18 PM

1. No
2. No
3. Yes

h0peless posted 2/13/2014 17:49 PM

1. Neither of us had been in a serious relationship before when we met each other. There was no history there, although there were a ton of red flags I should have seen if I wasn't so excited to be in a relationship.

2. See number 1.

3. I have absolutely no contact with her. If they were to contact me and ask, I suppose I wouldn't lie. If she was going to marry her new dad, I sure as fuck wouldn't talk to him. He knows damn well what sort of piece of shit she is and he would deserve every ounce of pain she would heap onto him somewhere down the road.

[This message edited by h0peless at 5:51 PM, February 13th (Thursday)]

GreatRoleModel posted 2/13/2014 18:03 PM

1. No
2. No it was first marriage for both of us.
3. No and if marries OW she knows what she did but if he ends of with another person then no unless asked I would be honest.

Dreamboat posted 2/13/2014 18:06 PM

No. In fact his previous GF cheated on him with his friend. That is why I was in such denial because I knew he knew how badly it hurt.

No.

No -- he M the whore so she already knew

tryingagain74 posted 2/13/2014 18:12 PM

1. Did you know that your spouse had cheated in a previous relationship before you married him/her?

No, I am not aware that he ever cheated. If he did, he kept it from me, and no one has ever come forward to tell me otherwise.

2. Did you find out AFTER you married that he/she had cheated in a previous marriage?

I was XWH's first wife, so this was not an issue for us.

3. If your XWS was about to remarry, would you inform or warn his/her fiancee?

He remarried his disgusting AP, so she knows full well who is, and she's just like him. If he divorces her and ends up with someone else whom he does not cheat with, then no, I would not inform her. I'm not their MC. I want as little to do with XWH as possible, so inserting myself into any future relationships he might have will never happen.

Vulcanized posted 2/13/2014 18:34 PM

1. Did you know that your spouse had cheated in a previous relationship before you married him/her?

The 2 LTR before me were described as crazy/emotional/vindictive. Translation = after they found out I cheated on them. I'm guessing yes.

2. Did you find out AFTER you married that he/she had cheated in a previous marriage?

First M for both.

3. If your XWS was about to remarry, would you inform or warn his/her fiancee?

Not my concern. If the F came to me (not OW), I might, but prolly not.

nowiknow23 posted 2/13/2014 19:30 PM

1. No
2. No
3. He is about to remarry (to someone who was not an OW). If I ever meet her and if she asks me, I would answer truthfully. I have a feeling, however, that my DD has already said something. She tells cashiers, friends, and even the plumber that her parents divorced because her dad cheated. Filters aren't her strong point.

gypsybird87 posted 2/13/2014 19:40 PM

1. No. I would not have married him if I had known.

2. Yes. And since the D I've learned a lot more. He's never been faithful in any relationship he's ever had.

3. No. He's her problem now, not mine. And she knows damn well he's a cheater, since she was screwing him while he was still married to me.

NeedsHope posted 2/13/2014 21:37 PM

1. Did you know that your spouse had cheated in a previous relationship before you married him/her? No, but now I wonder...

2. Did you find out AFTER you married that he/she had cheated in a previous marriage?
No

3. If your XWS was about to remarry, would you inform or warn his/her fiancee?
No, because I know that he would have influenced her against believing anything I said.

@SBB.. that article on psychopaths...that is my ex! How terrifying that he did so many of those examples. The OW has her work cut out. I don't think he will last as long this time before turning back into that person.Wow!!!

burnedcanuckEMS posted 2/14/2014 08:16 AM

1. Did you know that your spouse had cheated in a previous relationship before you married him/her?

No. But former MIL (now deceased) used to tell him "you better not fuck this relationship up"... comparing us to his previous LTR he had before me. I never knew what she meant by this. He claimed his ex cheated on him, now I suspect it was the other way around.

2. Did you find out AFTER you married that he/she had cheated in a previous marriage?

The above suspicions have never been confirmed, so no.

3. If your XWS was about to remarry, would you inform or warn his/her fiancee?

I don't think so. Mostly because I don't have any desire to speak to or associate with any future women he will be involved with. Him, and his dealings, are not my problem anymore.

burnedcanuckEMS posted 2/14/2014 08:16 AM

1. Did you know that your spouse had cheated in a previous relationship before you married him/her?

No. But former MIL (now deceased) used to tell him "you better not fuck this relationship up"... comparing us to his previous LTR he had before me. I never knew what she meant by this. He claimed his ex cheated on him, now I suspect it was the other way around.

2. Did you find out AFTER you married that he/she had cheated in a previous marriage?

The above suspicions have never been confirmed, so no.

3. If your XWS was about to remarry, would you inform or warn his/her fiancee?

I don't think so. Mostly because I don't have any desire to speak to or associate with any future women he will be involved with. Him, and his dealings, are not my problem anymore.

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