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General :
freaking out about valetine's day

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 BlackIce (original poster new member #42229) posted at 4:16 AM on Friday, February 14th, 2014

it's also our 19th anniversary. i asked if we were doing anything and said i was okay if we just stayed in because things have been so stressful. on top of all this OEA stuff he also has court for some trouble he got into. now he is planning dinner and all this stuff since i mentioned it and i really don't know if i want to even celebrate it yet at the same time i would be upset if we didn't. i just don't know.

BS: 37
WS: 39
Kids: 3
Together: 19 years
OEA with at least 2 women in other states, now not speaking to one but the other one is lingering past her expiration date
D-Day 12-24-13
talking, working on relationship

posts: 33   ·   registered: Jan. 27th, 2014   ·   location: Oklahoma
id 6684972
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scarednbroken ( member #41961) posted at 4:18 AM on Friday, February 14th, 2014

It's a mixed bag of emotions when in limbo.

((((Hugs)))

BS: Me 47 WH: 54 Kids: 17, 19, 21, 32 DD: every yr Ow: tons Status: fed-up. A woman should never invest in a relationship she wouldn't want for her daughter, nor should she allow any man to treat her in a way she would scold her son for

posts: 423   ·   registered: Jan. 7th, 2014   ·   location: Midwest
id 6684975
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BAB61 ( member #41181) posted at 6:05 AM on Friday, February 14th, 2014

(((BlackIce))) Be honest about your ambivalence, let him know it's iffy for you right now. You want to do the things you used to do as a couple, but the future is unsure and that leaves you feeling uncertain.

Boss A** B*tch
BS/52 Me, STBXpos/56, dd's 16&14
1st D-day 10/19/2013 EA/PA
2nd D-day 12/7/2013 LTA/Rendezvous
S 12/7/2013 No-fault state, 6 mo S, counting down the days.

posts: 1271   ·   registered: Oct. 31st, 2013   ·   location: DE
id 6685077
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WhatsRight ( member #35417) posted at 1:11 PM on Friday, February 14th, 2014

Do what YOU want.

My dday was Feb 12. 2 days before Valentines Day. I was in shock. I sent him a dozen red roses - my usual to him.

Now I look back and think...WTF??? Even he was in disbelief.

I was just in shock.

Do what feels right to YOU.

"Noone can make you feel inferior without your concent." Eleanor Roosevelt

I will not be vanquished. Rose Kennedy

posts: 8268   ·   registered: Apr. 23rd, 2012   ·   location: Southeast USA
id 6685318
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 BlackIce (original poster new member #42229) posted at 6:48 PM on Friday, February 14th, 2014

thanks. i told him considering what has been going on that i would be fine not doing anything but he is insisting and acted like i hurt his feelings. i don't know how to deal with him right now cause he is being so clingy and keeps telling me he's sorry. his emotions are all over the place. it's exhausting.

BS: 37
WS: 39
Kids: 3
Together: 19 years
OEA with at least 2 women in other states, now not speaking to one but the other one is lingering past her expiration date
D-Day 12-24-13
talking, working on relationship

posts: 33   ·   registered: Jan. 27th, 2014   ·   location: Oklahoma
id 6685975
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Morhurt ( member #40166) posted at 6:54 PM on Friday, February 14th, 2014

This

but he is insisting and acted like i hurt his feelings

is very selfish behaviour. You did not hurt his feelings, he did! This should NOT be about him!

edited for clarity

[This message edited by Morhurt at 12:55 PM, February 14th (Friday)]

Me: BS
Him: FWS
M: 15 years
4 lovely daughters
Working to rebuild.

posts: 1127   ·   registered: Aug. 3rd, 2013   ·   location: Canada
id 6685982
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