NO - you will not be leaving the elliptical here and coming over to exercise.
NO - you will not be having your visitation times with the kids at MY residence
NO - you will not be coming over to do yardwork or anything else at MY residence
Then he went to the, "Well, its YOUR CHOICE that it has to be this way.
Nekorb: You are causing me more pain than I've ever had in my entire life. Why would i want to spend time with you? Im in love with you. If I can't be with you, I don't want to be around you
WH: I hope that changes some day. I thought we could be friends.
Nekorb. My friends don't treat me like this. My friends don't cheat on me. My friends don't lie to me.
((WH visibly angered))
WH: So that's how it is?
WH: Well, thats your choice then.
Nekorb: I'm not the one that chose to leave the relationship
WH: I don't have a choice. I have to leave.
Nekorb: No you don't, you are choosing to.
WH: You don't know how I feel.
Then we had to be somewhere…this convo took place in a restaurant.
I was channeling y'all and trying to remember all the advice you've given me!
Whew. I felt like I had run a marathon after that and in reality it was only about a 10-15 minute conversation.
Although prior to that we were talking about things like what he furniture he is going to take - he doesn't want hardly anything… I asked him where he expected the kids to spend time with him if he has no furniture, he doesnt want to rent, wants to buy a house, but says "I wont have room for the kids in the beginning". I asked him where exactly he was moving to if he doesn't want to rent and doesn't think he will have room for the kids to visit. He didn't answer.
What the flying monkeys??
I would stop saying things like this
You are causing me more pain than I've ever had in my entire life. Why would i want to spend time with you? Im in love with you. If I can't be with you, I don't want to be around you
Each time you do it's like breaking off a piece of yourself and tossing it to him.
He knows you love him.
Keep the talk to kids and finances.
Preferably yes/no answers.
He is trying to wear you down with all the constant nneding to readdress boundaries. He knows the rules, just keep swimming.
RIDE OVER HIM TO VICTORY
No, I guess you wouldn't know the feeling of being an entitled, abusive, selfish jerk with the emotional capacity of a whiny sixteen year-old...
Way to stand up to to that jackass!... And well said about it feeling like running a marathon!
The cruel, the unkind, those without honor, feast on the tender heart...
I really don't understand his thought process.
I am NOT being unreasonable, right? These are all normal things that happen when someone leaves a marriage?
I think you did great!
I remember when I had some New Nature Girl conversations with my ex. At the time we were still in Limbo, I was offering R but he was not doing anything to make it happen. One day in the middle of a fight, a fight in which I was NOT backing down, a look crossed his face and he said he didn't know who I was anymore. That counseling had ruined me, I was not the same. I told him he was right. I wasn't the same. I was better. Then I spun on my heels and walked away from him
You're getting better, too!
No, not in the least. And unfortunately, yes separation and divorce is ugly. Perhaps if you can keep the convos strickly about kids and finances, he will catch your drift...?
He fired you from being a willing and compliant partner.
Gently now, your heart needs to catch up with your head...Indifference is the key.
I know it must be heart breaking to have these convos with him. Politely discussing who gets what furniture and the division of time with your kids must be making your head spin.
Maturity, being rational, truthfulness...these are qualities your WH is clearly missing. I am so sorry.
Hold your head high and continue to polish that spine!!! Kudos!
(((Hugs))) and strength to you and your kids as you slog through your next weeks and months getting used to your 'new normal'
And remember, like another posters tag line states, try not to make sense his convos, your not the JackAss Whisperer!
Never forget what is worth remembering or remember what is best forgotten.