After receiving some good advice from SI members and their velvet 2X4s, I have been NC with WH for nearly a week. It has been difficult, but I haven't texted him back at all when he contacted me.
His first text to me was asking for time to get together and talk about finances and so he could "collect his belongings." This felt hostile, because all of our belongings were purchased together - and he had taken the new flatscreen TV when he left for OW house. I did NC.
Today, his text was softer and read: "Don't worry about the talk being confrontational. I still love you and will be agreeing to what you want. I just need to know what my budget is going to be. The possessions stuff can wait until another day."
When I was advised to go NC, he had refused to say that he loved me anymore and I was heartbroken. I am really hoping that the whole financial thing is because he wants to find his own place so he has somewhere for his girls to be that is their own.
Maybe the revisionist history stuff is fading away and he can remember that I was a good wife, and we can keep moving on toward peace, if not reconciliation.