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Reconciliation :
OW has tried to break NC

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 veronique12 (original poster member #42185) posted at 4:31 PM on Friday, February 14th, 2014

OW has tried to make direct contact with H, about 2 months after NC was established. She sent him an IM saying "help pls." H told me right away and has blocked her so she couldn't send another. Really glad he told me but I can't help but feel anxiety about what her next move might be. She's obviously attention starved and is trying to manipulate him into contact.

She did favorite a tweet of his on Twitter last month using her company account and H has blocked that too.

Seems like she's getting a little bolder. Wonder if I'll be getting a knock on the door soon. Ugh!

BW, D-Day: 11/29/13 (4 month EA discovered); 12/19/13 (discovered was also PA); TT thru 2/14
Married: 2001; Together for 20 years
2 beautiful young kids

posts: 894   ·   registered: Jan. 23rd, 2014
id 6685710
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tushnurse ( member #21101) posted at 4:55 PM on Friday, February 14th, 2014

(((V)))

You have many things to be happy about here. Number one being you H telling you immediately. That is just an awesome thing.

Me: FBSHim: FWSKids: 23 & 27 Married for 32 years now, was 16 at the time.D-Day Sept 26 2008R'd in about 2 years. Old Vet now.

posts: 20381   ·   registered: Oct. 1st, 2008   ·   location: St. Louis
id 6685756
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Lovedyoumore ( member #35593) posted at 4:57 PM on Friday, February 14th, 2014

The OW tried this for months. She emailed, called, randomly showed up at places where she knew we would be, left notes and gifts outside my H office door and with the receptionist. It was pathetic. My H's IC was very emphatic that we stay NC and never give her any attention. He likened it to feeding a vampire and we had to starve it. It was very hard, but my H brought me every little gift and note she left. The email account she was using came directly to me and my H forwarded every text she sent. She kept it up for months. The last time she showed her face in person she actually walked into our church one Sunday morning.

Keep NC, but keep evidence of any contact she makes, just in case you need it.

Me 50's
WH 50's
Married 30+ years
2 young adult children
OW single 20 years younger
Together trying to R

Freedom's just another word for nothin' left to lose

posts: 3626   ·   registered: May. 15th, 2012   ·   location: Southern, bless your heart
id 6685761
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 veronique12 (original poster member #42185) posted at 5:13 PM on Friday, February 14th, 2014

Yes, tush, I do feel happy about it. Him coming clean about anything on his own is a big step. He looked absolutely terrified when telling me. I guess he thought I would fly off the handle, but instead I thanked him.

Yikes, lovedyoumore! Praying OW doesn't have 1/100 of that persistence. She is kooky but prefers a more sneaky underhanded approach.

BW, D-Day: 11/29/13 (4 month EA discovered); 12/19/13 (discovered was also PA); TT thru 2/14
Married: 2001; Together for 20 years
2 beautiful young kids

posts: 894   ·   registered: Jan. 23rd, 2014
id 6685799
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SorrowBhindSmile ( member #38139) posted at 5:21 PM on Friday, February 14th, 2014

The fact that your WH told you immediately, blocked her # and such is huge. Your response was huge too. You created a safe place for your WH...he felt like he could tell you.....your WH created a safe place for you by telling you. Working together...open, honest, transparent.

Keep up with the crickets. No contact. ignore it all. the stress and anxiety of wondering what her next move will be is nerve wracking. i lived with it for over 6 months. I feel your pain. Stay strong. she will go away eventually

hugs to you!

Me: BW
Him: WH
OW: My former "dear friend"/neighbor
Married 20+
Kids: 3
D-Day 12/2012
Committed to R 7/8/2013
"Believe in yourself and all that you are. Know that there is something inside you that is greater than any obstacle"

posts: 357   ·   registered: Jan. 16th, 2013
id 6685823
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