You are falling into the same trap I did with my WS, now STBXH.
He has PTSD, he's seen A LOT. I enabled him.
Then I realized, oh shit, I've seen way more than he has, I've been through way more than he has. Oh, yeah, I have PTSD too.
I don't drink myself into a stupor like my ex did. Why is it that I didn't cheat, didn't drink myself into being an idiot every weekend, or emotionally abuse my spouse and kids.
Oh, yeah, because I'm not an asswhole.
I have triggers. I used to not be able to drive over a soda can, couldn't stand for people to walk behind me, still have trouble sleeping sometimes, nightmares, shakes, and used to have near panic attacks in crowds.
I've learned coping skills.
At the heart of it, I'm just not a jerk.
PTSD is absolutely NO excuse for the behavior you have described.
I originally thought my STBXH's crazy and cruel behavior was his PTSD getting worse. So I tried to love him back into the relationship, I tried to get him to engage more with the kids, I tried to talk to him.
No honey, he was just having an A. That's all. And when he ended the A, he was missing his schmoopy whoopy Shrekie poo.
To me missing her and mistreating me and the kids was the same as him still being in the A.
Your WS is feeling sorry for his widdle self, just like my STBXH is too.
I had a choice, I made it. I'm done.
I'm not saying you should be done, but I am saying that you are choosing to continue with this person who doesn't treat you right, and you are choosing to buy into his hosre crap about his PTSD and what a poor widdle boy he is.
Am I wasting my time?
You already know the answer to this question.
I love(d) my STBXH so much it hurts. But at some point I had to love myself more. I just couldn't keep putting him before me when his actions showed me how little he put into me.