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What the hell is wrong with these people?

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 nomistakeaboutit (original poster member #36857) posted at 8:31 PM on Friday, February 14th, 2014

This post is not about me. It's about my niece. My question is this. What in the hell is wrong with these people?

The story:

My niece is 29. She was married a year ago - her first marriage. She was so excited. They bought a house together. They bough a dog. They were trying to get pregnant.

Enter infidelity. My niece had an A with someone she works with. One night she arrived home at 2:00 a.m. and the locks had been changed. Her H had found letters or text messages or whatever. He said, "Oh, hell no." He changed the locks and that was it. He was done.

My niece proceeds to rent a house near the OM. He's not married. She tells him she needs a roommate and asks if he's interested. He moves in. Somewhere in the midst of all of this, my niece ends up pregnant.

No paternity test has been done. Divorce is underway. She barely knows this OM, in the grand scheme of things. She seems confident that the OM is the father, but….

So, my sister (my niece's mother) sends a photo to me yesterday via a text message. It shows my niece standing sideways with a baby bump, with a big 'ole joyous smile on her face.

As far as I can tell, my niece has had no remorse and doesn't seem to be distraught in any way.

It seems obvious that she has a lot to be concerned about. Who is the father? If it is the OM, what happens if he turns out to not be prince charming after all, and he wants 50% custody. What about the feelings of her STBXH? She's obviously blame shifted and rewritten the marital history, so I guess that's how she rationalizes it.

In any case, I was looking at that picture today and it dawned on my. My niece, a WW, is not feeling any pain. She is not suffering. She is in some alternate universe of excitement about her schmoopsie new boyfriend and the fact that she is pregnant and going to have a baby. In the meantime, her H is probably a complete and total mess, like so many of us have been. My niece is completely oblivious to that.

WTF??????? I know that there are W's who have deep remorse and want to R. But some/many just aren't. We see that over and over on this site. So, my questions. Who in the hell are these people? How can they be so damn unfeeling and delusional and ridiculously selfish? WTF?

Me: BH 65.........Her: WW 55
DD: 15.......DS: 12. (5 and 2 on DDay)
Married for six years.
DDay: 12-25-11 Divorced: 7-15-12
...................................

posts: 1306   ·   registered: Sep. 18th, 2012   ·   location: U.S.A.
id 6686124
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norabird ( member #42092) posted at 9:36 PM on Friday, February 14th, 2014

It is mind-boggling.

Sit. Feast on your life.

posts: 4324   ·   registered: Jan. 16th, 2014   ·   location: NYC
id 6686236
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simplydevastated ( member #25001) posted at 9:45 PM on Friday, February 14th, 2014

Who in the hell are these people? How can they be so damn unfeeling and delusional and ridiculously selfish? WTF?

I wish I had the answers, because I'm living with one

It sounds like her mother is supporting this. I feel bad for her husband. Has anyone reached out to him?

Me - BS, 40 (I'm not old...I'm vintage)
Two Wonderful children - DS11, DD8
Getting my ducks in a row for divorce... finally (4+ D-Days too many - listed in profile.)

posts: 6121   ·   registered: Jul. 31st, 2009   ·   location: In the darkest depths of hell!
id 6686246
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