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And here I thought I was doing better

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MadeOfScars posted 2/14/2014 14:35 PM

I didn't expect Valentines day to be this hard, but it's definitely eating me up. I can't stop thinking about how my valentine of almost 12 years may very well be spending the day with someone else, and there's nothing I can or should do about it. Like I said, no matter what I tell myself to try and snap out of it, it feels like D-Day all over again.

It also doesn't help that Monday is her birthday. For the last 11 years, this time was spent sweeping her off her feet for V-day while secretly planning a birthday get together of some kind among family and friends. I've found I miss this more than I ever suspected.

Our Anniversary is less than a month away. Just when I thought I was turning a corner, the milestones start coming and the wound becomes fresh yet again.

Anyway, I hope some of you are able to have a better day.

scarednbroken posted 2/14/2014 15:32 PM

I'm sorry you have to feel this.

I know my WH is spending today on a "date" with his OW. They set it up Wednesday. He had the gumption to send me a mushy card, and when I texted thank you.... He asked, "Are we OK?" Seriously??? You are going to go do god knows what with another woman behind my back, and you ask me if we are ok.... No we aren't. But I just said... "As long as you are not keeping anything from me, we are fine."

(((SoulHurts))) I hope you can eventually enjoy your days rather than count how many have gone by. You deserve to be a happy person.

RealityStinks posted 2/14/2014 15:32 PM

Hey bud,
I understand where you're coming from. Despite my "Happy Day" post, I miss my WW a little too. I've spent every V-day since 2003 with her. So, I get it.

But, I've been through several "firsts" since D-day, so this one isn't so raw. First Thanksgiving, company party, Christmas, and New Years without her. So, V-day is more "whatever" than sad.

Time, buddy. It takes time.

Hang in there man and go read your "When you start to miss your soon to be Ex" post.

MadeOfScars posted 2/14/2014 15:42 PM

Yeah, I think I will re-read that post over and over. As much as I try to shut it out, there's that little bit of hope that my bastard brain keeps around that maybe one of these special occasions will be what knocks her out of the fog. I know I cannot hold onto that, and I don't know that I really even want that at this point.

I know my WH is spending today on a "date" with his OW. They set it up Wednesday. He had the gumption to send me a mushy card, and when I texted thank you.... He asked, "Are we OK?" Seriously???

Damn. Yeah, seriously? You're so much more deserving.

PhoenixRising88 posted 2/14/2014 15:44 PM

((((SoulHurts))))

I feel you... This is my first Valentine's Day as a single person in 10 years. I truly hope that they get easier...

RealityStinks posted 2/14/2014 15:58 PM

As much as I try to shut it out, there's that little bit of hope that my bastard brain keeps around that maybe one of these special occasions will be what knocks her out of the fog. I know I cannot hold onto that, and I don't know that I really even want that at this point.

I do the EXACT same thing. I already thought about it today. I even hoped that filing for D might shake her, but it doesn't seem to have had any effect. (I did not file as a scare tactic, and I'm prepared to follow through). I thought the same thing about New Years. It was the first one since 2003 that I didn't kiss her at midnight. First Christmas since 2002 that I wasn't with her. So, I get what you're hoping for, but don't bet on it.

Hang in there man.

nekorb posted 2/14/2014 16:03 PM

I'm sorry.

I'm trying not to scream at my WH about what a liar he is - telling me he is going to be late today because he is busy at work.

We all know busy at work = screwing OW while I'm supposed to be working so I have to be here longer.

I wish he just wouldn't say anything.

I'm making a nice dinner for us and the kids tonight. The kids asked me earlier in the week what we (WH and I) were doing for v-day and when I said nothing they were like :::gasp:;; why not? I simply said that dad didn't want to take me out. That I had asked him to take me to a movie and he said no.

I'm done covering for him.

Your WW doesn't deserve a special birthday weekend. Plan something awesome for YOURSELF.

MadeOfScars posted 2/14/2014 16:29 PM

Well, guess I'll have something else to remember today for. Just heard from my lawyer - divorce paperwork is officially filed, STBXW will be served next week. Too bad her birthday is a government holiday or she may have received the paperwork on her birthday itself. "Here's the gift you wanted - there will be no more."

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