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Need 2x4's

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Must Survive posted 2/14/2014 14:45 PM

This day is hard. Never really a big day when I was married. STBXH would bring some flowers home, exchange cards. Done. Never in the 20 years of being together did he ever "send" flowers.

OW#3 just put on her FB the flowers he sent her. AND the picture also includes the card displayed at the bottom of the vase that came with it. With the typed "forever love crap".

I am angry/hurt/pissed. Shouldn't have been on FB today.

And I know I should block, but I guess I still need some salt in the wound.

Bebba1171 posted 2/14/2014 15:04 PM

Here's your first 2X4!

I know it isn't funny, but you essentially got what you deserved.

Things will get better once you accept things and move on.

OW#3 sounds like a lot.

He probably feels unworthy and is doing more than he used to.

h0peless posted 2/14/2014 15:06 PM

I'm looking into my crystal ball and I see a haggardly looking OW making this same post in a few years after their luuuuurve fades and he cheats on her.

Must Survive posted 2/14/2014 15:25 PM

Bebba1171,

I am stuck. I have not been able to move on. Some days I feel like I am moving forward. Then others I just don't understand how I got here. One minute I was happily married, the next STBXH is caught in an affair. He begs #1 to leave her husband, that he will take care of her/kids, she goes back to her husband. Dates at least 1 ow, then within 3 weeks of D-day is professing love to this ow#3. Moves in with her and is engaged to her within 2 months of Dday. Divorce had not even been filed!

I can't get over it. I don't understand how you can be so in luv with 1 person, after professing love to another and TO YOU WIFE.

Since D-day I have been taking care of the house, our DS, etc. I am total NC with STBXH. He is blocked on my phone. I go to IC.

When everything went down, I thought he would realize what he had done to his family. DS will only see him an hour or so a week. For the first 2 years he wouldn't see him but maybe once a month.

And I don't understand how you can find your 'true love" in a couple of months of being kicked out of your home. I have gone out a total of 4 times. And I don't even get asked out. And I look 10 years younger than STBXH and am in shape and can still turn heads.

Sorry, I guess today is the day I am having a pity party for ONE!

Charity411 posted 2/14/2014 15:35 PM

Must Survive, (((hugs))) and I think you should look at this another way. You said it was never really a big day when you were married. Why is that? Was it because you didn't want it to be, or because you were settling to keep him happy? It seems to me your hurt and anger would indicate you would have liked it to be a bigger deal. I've learned that most people (not all) rise only to the level of what is expected of them romantically.

So what I would suggest is that the lesson here is that you deserve and you have a right to expect more from future relationships. You have a new start and a chance to really get it right. Today was an opportunity to see clearly one of the things you would do differently the next time.

StillLivin posted 2/14/2014 16:44 PM

MS you REALLY need to stay off their FB pages.
First of all, nobody posts the miserable stuff, well nobody sane.
It's always la la unicorn fartland on FB. What you are seeing isn't genuine. Your STBXH sent flowers. It isn't because you weren't good enough, its because HE was trying to impress and had to outdo his normal.
My STBXH spent over $9,500 on his whore within less than 4 weeks. He never spent that much on me. But then again, I was genuine and my love was genuine, he didn't have to! And I do remember countless times him getting ready to use the credit card to try and buy me something.
Look, FB is NOT going to do anything but give you more pain.
Everytime I went on her FB, I got hurt. Should have learned my lesson the first time.
If you read some of the threads, go back about a month. The lesson is written over and over and over, don't go trolling.

[This message edited by StillLivin at 4:58 PM, February 14th (Friday)]

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