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Confirmation of his secret phone...does everyone cheat?

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roarlouder posted 2/14/2014 15:41 PM

I was pretty certain there was one. But I have confirmation of it now. Even the number. Wonder what's on it and how long he has had it.

It is taking everything in me not to call it to hear his reaction. Unfortunately him signing and returning papers to my lawyer is taking longer... And he had a moment of being difficult and nasty... So I am stuck playing nice, not telling anyone until my lawyer gets it back. New target date is Tues, but I am not getting my hopes up.

I almost feel sorry for him. In the 2 days he's been FB chatting about 7 different girls... Looking for anyone to show him some attention. He kind of disgusts me.

Also heard today about a former colleagues affair. Feeling like its rampant and is the norm so maybe I was stupid for leaving and thinking there's something better. Ugh.

Sorry this all over the map

nekorb posted 2/14/2014 15:58 PM

Ugh. I'm sorry. Mine had one technically belonged to OW's son, but WH was using it.

I hope Tuesday comes quickly.

roarlouder posted 2/14/2014 15:59 PM

Would it be a terrible idea to call it from a blocked number just to hear his voice on it?

roarlouder posted 2/14/2014 16:05 PM

Would it be a terrible idea to call it from a blocked number just to hear his voice on it?

Softcentre posted 2/14/2014 16:06 PM

Don't ring it. NC No new hurts

dmari posted 2/14/2014 16:08 PM

Does everyone cheat? I think the reason why we are here, it would seem that way, KWIM? I try to look at the relationships around me ~ parents, in-laws, aunties and uncles, cousins, friends ~ all still married and no infidelity. Of course, we truly don't know what happens behind closed doors. So I guess I can say within my circle of family and friends, there haven't been any divorces due to infidelity (except mine ).

And HELL to the NO about thinking you were stupid for leaving and thinking there's something better. NO NO NO!! How can staying in a marriage without trust and respect and faithfulness be better?

It will get better, roarlouder.

RealityStinks posted 2/14/2014 16:24 PM

How'd you find the phone?

Also, I know there are men that don't cheat. I see one every time I look in the mirror.

roarlouder posted 2/14/2014 16:25 PM

It seems like every day I hear about someone else's affair. If I am being perfectly honest, there are scenarios where I could forgive. Heck false R for almost 5 months.

In my case though, it is at the core of who he is. 100% he will continue to for the rest of his life.

roarlouder posted 2/14/2014 16:34 PM

Thx RealityStinks. I need that reminder. I don't cheat either, so we exist.

Sal1995 posted 2/14/2014 16:47 PM

...does everyone cheat?

No. I've kept my vows through almost 18 years of marriage, and would say that a strong majority of my friends and family have done the same.

But I understand the sentiment. Sometimes it feels like it's everywhere. In my FOO faithfulness has been the rule, as far as I know. In my WW's extended FOO, infidelity has affected probably 80% of marriages going back 3 generations.

Not a huge shock that she cheated and I haven't. We internalize (and normalize) what we see growing up.

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