I am having a rough weekend.... I just feel so hurt. I want the hurt to stop. I haven't slept well which just ends in me feeling sorry for myself (which I can't stand!). I feel dumped on and I didn't choose any of this. He keeps screwing up with calling the kids on scheduled times then I get to pick up the pieces. When he does call (when it's convenient for him) he is all disney dad. Makes me angry. I get all the hard work and responsibility. I work two jobs cause I don't trust he will send money (not a priority for him). I am 100% responsible for everything to do with the kids. He talks to them for a total of maybe 45min a week. He gets to go out and be mister cool nice guy, have a fun GF, spend his money on whatever he feels like. He can be whoever he wants... I am in another country and he doesn't have to face anyone or be truthful.
I am thankful I have the kids 100% I wouldn't want it any other way. I'm just tired and it feels like he has NO consequences or hurt. I want time to hurry the fuck up! I REALLY don't like wallowing in this. He does not deserve space in my head. I don't know what would make me feel better? I just needed to put this out there. I know I am not dealing with a human being. My mom keeps telling me to be patient he can't keep this up...and that I just need to get strong so when his world crumbles I can tell him where to go and how to get there.
[This message edited by yestopants at 8:57 PM, February 15th (Saturday)]