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Newest Member: silenceisnotgold (46036)

User Topic: her hand, her voice, but not her?
poison1916
♂ 42298
Member # 42298
Default  Posted: 10:16 PM, February 16th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

i have uncovered since d-day many letters, emails, and text messages. they are written in her hand, her inner-voice, but they are not things she would ever say (or things i thought she would ever do).

when we meet for short periods of time sometimes i see a different person in her eyes. sometimes i see the real her but if she gets angry or whatever shes feeling she vanishes.

does anyone else have similar experiences?


2/1/14 11pm.

Posts: 24 | Registered: Feb 2014 | From: New York
tushnurse
♀ 21101
Member # 21101
Default  Posted: 9:28 AM, February 17th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Absolutely.
Not so much after Dday, but the entire time he was engaging in the A. Every once in a while I would get a glimpse of him, and do all I could to get him to stay, but nothing worked.

Not until we had Dday. It truly was like invasion of the body snatchers thing.

(((and strength)))


Me: FBS
Him: FWS
Kids: 15 & 17
Married for 22 years now, was 16 at the time. .
D-Day Sept 26 2008
Fully R'd, and Happy Happy Happy

Posts: 8898 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: St. Louis
poison1916
♂ 42298
Member # 42298
Default  Posted: 9:39 AM, February 17th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

i never saw it before dday. just after. it's like a switch flipped in her.

we've come to a settlement and hopefully this will be all over soon (~4 weeks).


2/1/14 11pm.

Posts: 24 | Registered: Feb 2014 | From: New York
Merlin
♂ 30221
Member # 30221
Default  Posted: 10:42 AM, February 17th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

She has been like this for a while now and you missed the cues and clues.

How long?

Maybe ever since you met her and she could no longer keep it in.

Maybe she morphed into someone new recently.

Does it really matter which it is? You are at the intersection of Here and Now. How you got there you may never understand.


"I never saw a wild thing sorry for itself. A bird will fall frozen dead from a bough without ever having felt sorry for itself." D. H. Lawrence

Her: WW/57 Me: BS/63 24yrs M
3 great kids, now 22, 20, 17 b,b,g
D-Day 8/14/08, D 1/13/11


Posts: 1164 | Registered: Nov 2010 | From: East Coast
Gman1
♂ 40879
Member # 40879
Default  Posted: 10:58 AM, February 17th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

At times my FWW was like an alien. It was like she was someone I had never met. She was in her withdrawal time or fog. It was very frustrating for me. Later, she explained the A was like a drug addiction and she was an addict. Coming off the drug was not an easy thing apparently. Fortunately, her withdrawal only lasted about 4-6 weeks and the real person returned.

Posts: 281 | Registered: Oct 2013
poison1916
♂ 42298
Member # 42298
Default  Posted: 7:50 PM, February 17th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It is very interesting hearing how dinner people had and are having similar experiences. I think the one of the hardest parts of this piece is, is it permanent or temporary or was it then all along.


Temporary would be a great relief, then I could at least have my best friend back.

Permanent makes me very heartbroken that a great person was lost.

All along makes think that either she needs to move to Hollywood or I'm a fool


2/1/14 11pm.

Posts: 24 | Registered: Feb 2014 | From: New York
poison1916
♂ 42298
Member # 42298
Default  Posted: 8:13 PM, February 17th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Funny enough I am doing something similar. Her name x but since we met she spelled it differently. I am now spelling it x again.

The OM I am referring to by his childhood nickname of x not his work name or his actual name.

[This message edited by poison1916 at 8:14 PM, February 17th (Monday)]


2/1/14 11pm.

Posts: 24 | Registered: Feb 2014 | From: New York
scarednbroken
♀ 41961
Member # 41961
Default  Posted: 8:42 PM, February 17th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think the one of the hardest parts of this piece is, is it permanent or temporary or was it then all along.

Temporary would be a great relief, then I could at least have my best friend back.

Permanent makes me very heartbroken that a great person was lost.

All along makes think that either she needs to move to Hollywood or I'm a fool


I would say that person was there all along but maybe repressed or hidden. Unfortunately not everyone is always their genuine self. BUT do not beat yourself up. You are genuine and part of that mean you expect others to be genuine. She is the fool for messing up what could have been the best and most genuine relationship change she had.


BS: Me 44 WH: 51 Kids: 14, 16, 18, 28 DD: every yr Ow: tons Status: fed-up. A woman should never invest in a relationship she wouldn't want for her daughter, nor should she allow any man to treat her in a way she would scold her son for

Posts: 421 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Midwest
SI Staff
10
Member # 10
Default  Posted: 6:28 AM, February 18th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Please post on the other thread in this forum with the same topic.

Thank you.


Posts: 10000 | Registered: May 2002
Topic Posts: 9

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