SurvivingInfidelity.com Forum Archives

Just curious,
Has anyone posted their OW on one of the homewrecker websites on the web? If so, how do you feel about it? Do you regret it? Was there any fallout? Any good or bad consequences from doing it? I probably would never do it, but I have thought about it a time or two.

Interesting. I'm considering it now that you posted this.

lilflower1000-

SI does not condone revenge.

No, never. If I did, then I'd need to put up my own husband.

Honestly, I feel like it's sinking to their level. Comprising my morals. All if my husband's AP's have children. I don't want them to stumble on it. It's not the kids fault their parents did this. So while their mothers didn't consider the harm inflicted on the kids, I can...as a mother. I don't want my kids seeing something like that about their father, even though they know of his infidelity.

And, what would it solve? It won't help me heal. It won't help fix my marriage further. It would give me momentary satisfaction, but that is fleeting.

I wouldn't. I looked up the site, and there's barely anyone listed. I tried "Googling" one of the names, and it didn't even show up. It might make you feel better, but it won't help anything.

If you're going to expose, then do it to people that matter and not just some random website. Call, email, or message the people that you want to know.

I really struggle with outing my STBX. I want to take the high road, but I want people to know the truth too. Especially since I found out what she's been saying about me to other people. She's making me out to be the bad guy. Still, I don't know that I want to hurt her, but I feel like she needs to own what she's done.

I don't want my kids seeing something like that about their father, even though they know of his infidelity.

That is why I won't do it. Although, I do agree with this:

If you're going to expose, then do it to people that matter and not just some random website. Call, email, or message the people that you want to know.

I have exposed the OW to her BS, not out of revenge, but because I felt it only right he know (I would want to know if he knew). My WH exposed her to her family, because we were friends with her brother and his family is moving to our installation. We felt he needed to be aware of the situation.

Yes. And then, like the furious XW that I am, I forwarded the link to some of OW & XH's coworkers. I only regret that I didn't find email for OW's entire family, so they, too, could know the truth.

As for the female specific one, I'm in the midst of composing the story for that one. Partially b/c OW is still hanging around the periphery of my life. WTF? She got my XH, my dog, my house, my freaking life. Nope, not enough, still has to bother me. OW has had no consequences, at all, and continues to not get out of my life. I can't go beat her ass (I mean, I could, but I don't want to get locked up), so this will have to suffice.

The female specific site, I've read some stories that were straight forward, no name calling, just facts. That's what I'm aiming for w/it.

And I'm considering a truthfully worded, non venting version to out XH as well. (Like a bulleted list, Fact: 1 - 20) After the D, a few of his life long friends came to me & told me some things that made it seem like cheating is a lifetime habit w/XH. I wish I'd of been warned before wasting 10+ years, a lifetime of pain & thousands of $$$.

But ... we do not have children, so.

eta: clarification, seemed ambiguous

[This message edited by Vulcanized at 4:48 PM, February 17th (Monday)]

In love shack there is a section for the other person. I have read some posts there only to get the perspective of the OP. Just pathetic.
I just don't get it. Do they like to take the leftovers?
When I was single and even married I never laid eyes on a married man. He was OUT of the question, even if he looked like Brad or he was crazy about me.
Let's exclude the morality of the matter.
Why would someone go and waste time in a relationship which is doomed? I mean it's stupidity.

Well, depending how and why it is done, it is not necessarily revenge per say. It could be just a warning especially if it is just the facts. Is it revenge when sexual preditors are listed online? Although arguably not quite to the degree, op also destroy children's lives. Especially repeat offenders.Like I said, I would probably never do this. She does have kids and no matter what I do they have a hard road ahead with her as a mom, so I would not like to make things worse for them. I would include my husband if I did. I think most of us think of many scenarios of things we would do to op. This is certainly not the worst scenario that has gone through my head.

I do hate the fact that as the bs if we do anything except lay down and take it or maybe leave ( I was called a bitch for kicking him out )we are the ones who are considered the bad people. I mean they run all over us then lie about it call us crazy.then make up lies about us. They destroy our families etc, but if we do anything about it we are considered bad people. After all if we weren't such terrible spouses this wouldn't happen in the first place right?

[This message edited by lilflower1000 at 10:58 PM, February 17th (Monday)]

I have actually been thinking about this for months. Looked at it yesterday. I doubt I will do it since she already tried to slap me with a RO. She was scared shitless of me. IKR! She is the one fucking my husband ( I know he to blame to ) It got dismissed though because she walked out of court with her dad and step-mom. I guess that's a 25 year old for ya.

Anyways I'm to scared to do it although it would me feel better. I really don't give two shits about her. Just want the whole world to know she is a slut!

Dobegirl, really thinking about it again today. I mean if she showed even a little remorse, I would leave it be, but I just feel I need to do SOMETHING to stand up for myself and family against her. I just can't decide.

I did.

OW wanted my life and tried to take it. I was pregnant on d day and that severely limited my ability for a$$ kicking.

It was good to get it out. Periodically I would go look at it and take delight in the thousands of people who read about what an awful person she is.

Then I got to a point of apathy for her. Every now and then I can muster up enough energy to decide I would face punch her if our paths ever cross. But mostly I don't care anymore.

Last I looked almost 100k people read about her. Didn't change how I felt or what happened. It was just kind of a viral face punch.

My advice to you is to do it here. Give her a fake name and write all about what a horrible person she is and what you'd like to do to her. Get it out, and then let it go.

Peace.

I have a thread going right now called "outing the other man".
I'm all for it and plan on doing it as soon as I find a little time. I'm not going to roll over and allow this fool to walk away with bumps and bruises from me and a scolding from his wife.

It's just the way I'm wired I guess. Revenge and the reckoning are important to me.

What are these websites? I've never even heard of this kind of site until now

I found my Ow's online diary about her AP. It was called His Baby Blues. It was rather nauseating. Sounds like a teenager writing in her diary about her favorite boy band. She's in her 50's. :barf!

I did on some, but there are so many different options out there, that I doubt it did much good.

There was no fallout.

lilflower1000

I still think about doing this. Why should she be able to go about her day to day life without some consequence? She helped ruin a marriage, yeah he had his play in it too,but she pursued him and he just soaked all his ego kibbles up. Thats why I choosing D. But her? Oh no she will not get off that easy by me. Yes I know that Karma bus will hit her eventually. Who knows maybe it already has. But I'm an impatient person.

It's like Uhtred said I'm not going to roll over on this. Especially when she knew who we were and that we were married

[This message edited by Dobegirl at 8:28 PM, March 9th (Sunday)]