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Newest Member: Thrivingforward (61554)

User Topic: question for the other parents out there???
♀ 39005
Member # 39005
Default  Posted: 2:22 PM, February 17th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I don't know if I have asked this before, but if I have please forgive me, I just want to get input from other parents.

At what age did you let your children play outside by themselves? What limits did they have?

My DD will be five in April and often times wants to play outside, but I don't always want to go out when she does, especially in 30 degree weather. There have been a few times I have let her play on the back deck by herself while I am in the kitchen (watching her out the window).

Right now she is playing outside with my seven year old niece, they are in the backyard only, and I am sitting inside watching them out the window.

I feel more comfortable letting her outside with my niece rather than all by herself.

I should also add that we live in a neighborhood with a lot of families and houses; but during the summer there are also a lot of teenagers wandering around.

Just want to know what other parents do. Thanks in advance!

But what if I fall?
Oh Darling, but what if you fly?

Posts: 1269 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Massachusetts
♂ 15162
Member # 15162
Default  Posted: 2:32 PM, February 17th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

In the summer, all the neighborhood kids are at our house, or wherever Dd takes them. She's now 12.

Ds is now 7, and beginning last summer we'd let him ride around the block on his bike. We kind of slowly build up from there.

FBH - 46
FWW - 47 (BrokenRoad)
2 kids 11 & 16

The people you do your life with shape the life you live

Posts: 47110 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: Michigan
♀ 26531
Member # 26531
Default  Posted: 2:57 PM, February 17th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Until 2011, when DS was 10, we didn't live in an area where playing outside alone or w/ someone was even practical. So it never really came up.

We moved to our current house in Feb 2011, but he went to school in a different county and didn't make any friends in the neighborhood to actually play with... so still not much of an issue.

In 6th grade, he was 11, he started attending the middle school that all the kids in the neighborhood attend and started to make friends... I let him play in the front or back yard with his friends... He started walking himself to the bus stop which was several blocks away.

Now he has a phone and can go anywhere in the neighborhood as long as he texts me every 30 mins or so and then comes home at the appointed time.

I know that's probably more info than you wanted... but that's how we handled it.

I'd personally have felt safe letting him the backyard of our current house alone at 5, had we lived here, because we have a 6ft high concrete wall in the back and privacy fencing on the sides... so he couldn't get out.

I am not sure how I'd feel if I didn't have that stuff.

Me: BSO - 49
Him: FWSO - 72
DS - 16
D-Day - 12-11-09,
R - he finally came home
Your life is an Occasion. Rise to it. - Mr. Magorium, "Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium"

Posts: 26013 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: Florida
♀ 36883
Member # 36883
Default  Posted: 3:13 PM, February 17th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

We have a 8 foot privacy fence and 2 great kids (4 and 2) played out back all the time by themselves. I would usually be in the living room watching out the window or kitchen. I would let them out for short times...20 to 30 minutes if it was really hot, and would reapply sunscreen every whipstitch.

If the dogs barked, i would look out.

The worst that ever happened is that they all got a hose bath LOL.

Me: 32 MH
Him: 39 MH
New online find 6/19/14 - shit
Phone Find 11/21/14 - I can't even right now.
1/26/15 - Started IC for me, DH won't go.

Posts: 2393 | Registered: Sep 2012
♀ 10506
Member # 10506
Default  Posted: 3:31 PM, February 17th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

DD is 17 now so I have to think back. I think around 2nd grade if she stayed in the yard or played with the the next door neighbors kids. Otherwise I went out with her because there is no good place I can watch her from inside. By 4th grade she was playing with all the neighbor kids in various yards, but we live in a cul de sac in a small and very family oriented neighborhood. Basically, every body knows everybody else in the neighborhood.

And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back
So shake him off
-- Shake It Out, Florence And The Machine

Posts: 17695 | Registered: Apr 2006 | From: A better place :)
♀ 33226
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 3:45 PM, February 17th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Very different answers for my two kids. DS was outside playing in the neighborhood around age 7. At that point, we lived in a very quiet, low traffic neighborhood with multiple kids his age and very involved parents. Everyone watched out for the kids, and our yards were all fenced. You knew where the kids were, you knew they were safe, and you knew there were multiple sets of eyes on them at any given time. We were pretty lax with him.

We moved to a new development a few years later, around the time that DD was 7. With all the construction, heavy machinery, and workers in and out all the time, the neighborhood was much busier and far less controlled. The kids in the neighborhood were either teens or babies, so there weren't others her age around, and the parents were different, too - less neighborly, more to themselves. We also didn't have a fenced yard. DD didn't play outside much at all. She was very anxious being outside with all the commotion, so we had to push to get her outside, and we had to be out there with her or she would come back in.

You can call me NIK

And never grow a wishbone, daughter, where your backbone ought to be.
― Sarah McMane

Posts: 40249 | Registered: Aug 2011
Sad in AZ
♀ 24239
Member # 24239
Default  Posted: 4:28 PM, February 17th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

DS played outside in our yard by himself from the age of four. He played out in the neighborhood by himself from the age of 6 on.

You have to know your own child. I knew DS could handle himself. He flew home from NY by himself at the age of 7.

You are important and you matter. Your feelings matter. Your voice matters. Your story matters. Your life matters. Always.

Me: FBS (no longer betrayed nor a spouse)-62
Him: WXH-62
D-day: 2007 (two years before finding SI)
S: 6/2010; D: 3/2011

Posts: 25302 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: Arizona
♀ 34697
Member # 34697
Default  Posted: 4:32 PM, February 17th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Teslet is five and I let him play out in the back yard by himself. It is fenced. I started letting him play in the front yard, in the driveway where I could see him from a window for a little bit. My street is fairly busy, so he has an invisible boundary he is not allowed to cross...usually, I sit on the front porch when he is in the front.

"Thou art the son and heir of a mongrel bitch." --King Lear

Posts: 4962 | Registered: Jan 2012
little turtle
♀ 15584
Member # 15584
Default  Posted: 5:33 PM, February 17th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My boys are 6 and 7. They are allowed to play in the fenced in backyard whenever they want (weather appropriate). I don't trust my neighborhood so someone has to be in the front with them. I've let my boys play in the backyard ever since they learned to not put things in their mouth. I've always had a privacy fence. At my previous home, my dog lived there with us and she would "watch" the kids while they were outside.

Failure is success if we learn from it.

3 boys: 11, 9, and 1.

Posts: 4797 | Registered: Aug 2007 | From: michigan
♀ 20547
Member # 20547
Default  Posted: 5:35 PM, February 17th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Mine is 5, plays out back with the chickens all the time (one locked gate out of the backyard). Totally free, and totally fine.

No being out front without us, we live on a road busy with both cars and pedestrian traffic.

FBS/WS- me.
F(serial)WS/BS- him.

Madhatters. More Ddays than birthdays, at this point.

Posts: 2588 | Registered: Aug 2008
♀ 39005
Member # 39005
Default  Posted: 5:50 PM, February 17th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

We don't have a fence but our landlord is planning on putting one up at some point...our back yard is still closed off though cuz there are trees and bushes that make it more private.

I would never let her in the front without me but as long as she is in the backyard I think she should be fine....I watch her the whole time, and she is a good girl so I know she won't leave the yard without me.

I know it's all about personal preference but wanted to hear from others!!

But what if I fall?
Oh Darling, but what if you fly?

Posts: 1269 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Massachusetts
Topic Posts: 11

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