"You can survive this. Talk to others that have"

wonderingbull posted 2/17/2014 16:09 PM

Went to my nephew's swim meet in Texas from Thursday to Sunday and enjoyed spending time with my brother with cancer and plenty of other family members while cheering for my nephew...

On the day before I was going down KD texted me that my oldest brother's wife (her best friend, a truly evil manipulative bitch, MB for short) told her that my sick brother's wife wanted to see her so she was going to ride down and back with my oldest brother and MB and come to the swim meet and if I was ok with it...

I texted back... "Not my call"... She kept texting and I told her I wasn't in the decider circle that the decision was made without my input so I had nothing to say... Well... She decided not to come and haven't heard anything since...

My oldest brother and MB did come... They showed up at the meet and acted like they were my sick brother and his wife's BFFs... It was sick.... The pandering was over the top... I just sat there and and got more and more pissed... They only stayed for a "token" time to pander and try to show every other family member that they are "so close" to my brother and his wife when they never did a damn thing with them before...

My oldest brother looked like he was lobbying to be chief eulogy giver when my youngest brother dies...

During the whole KD dating thing MB threw me under the bus so often I learned the tread pattern...
She didn't like me dating KD at all... She's a very manipulative and controling bitch... She looked at me as a threat and that I stole her friend... In her mind, she's now won and she's going to show off the trophy (KD).... I'd seen her in action before and knew right when I got the text from KD what the game was...

As I was seathing I was wondering if anyone else at the meet was seeing anything like I did... Well... Everyone did...

I was sitting at the airport yesterday with my sick brother and his wife... Out of the blue his wife starts in on the pandering antics... Come to find out... MB has been texting her nonstop about my brother's condition and anything and everything... Like she's now the most caring and concerned person in the family... My sister in law is so nice she won't throw the gauntlet down..

I asked if there was any discussion about KD coming to the meet... Nope, none, not at all... It was all MB's little ploy to effectively shove the KD trophy in my face... See, MB doesn't think that we see through her antics and don't compare notes... Everyone at the meet knew what was going on and has contacted me about it because they were worried about me... They're pretty protective of the three of us youngest siblings...

I've got 8 brothers and sisters... My brother with cancer is the youngest of the 9 of us... The three youngest of us, me, younger sister and younger brother were at home when our dad rotted slowly away with cancer...

My mom, and the three of us were hospice in 1976 when there wasn't hospice... The rest of the siblings were off living their lives and would do hour long "dad visits" and then vanish leaving us there with no help... I was 16, sister was 14 and youngest brother was 12...

The three of us formed a very stong bond because of what we went through.... Now we see the pitiful and shameless ploys of MB and we're pissed... My oldest brother is so fucking pussy whipped that he defends everything MB does...

When dad was dying my mom depended on me to take care of and protect my younger brother and sister... I was mom's right hand man... She'd cry on my shoulder about what was going to happen when dad died... It's time I get back into protection mode when it comes to my little brother

Well, I'm suiting up in my man version of "bitch boots" and I'm about to go all ninja shit all over MB and my sorry excuse of an older brother....

WB

nowiknow23 posted 2/17/2014 16:59 PM

I also have 8 siblings, wb. And I can't even begin to imagine crap like that going down, especially during a family crisis. The hell is wrong with some people?

Sending you strength and keeping your brother and his family in my thoughts.

tesla posted 2/17/2014 17:13 PM

WB, I'm sorry that they are pulling this shit. I have half as many siblings as you and when the shit hits the fan, no matter what little spats are going on, we circle the wagons and go into full on "protect our own" mode.

Hugs to your brother and his wife. I hope your nephew did well at his meet.

cayc posted 2/17/2014 17:30 PM

Good lord WB, I'm sorry. Good job on not getting sucked into the drama. I feel sorry for your elder brother.

And the next time KD contacts you? Remind her that she's not family. She's just a crazy ex-girlfriend.

(((WB)))

Williesmom posted 2/17/2014 18:20 PM

The next time that KD texts, give her crickets. I don't think she deserves the courtesy of a response.

Your brother is an ass.

[This message edited by Williesmom at 6:21 PM, February 17th (Monday)]

imwideawake posted 2/17/2014 19:00 PM

((wonderingbull)) Sending hugs! I'm glad you and younger two gave that bond.. I'm sorry for all you've been through.

courageous posted 2/17/2014 19:35 PM

You handled that very well. MB sounds like such a bitch and like she has some major insecurity issues.

I hate it when people "perform" to make themselves look so much better than they really are.

I hope you were able to enjoy your time with your family outside of MB and your oldest brother.

wonderingbull posted 2/18/2014 12:51 PM

Thanks everyone... Being in a big family is a challenge...

MB has always aimed her venom to other brothers and sisters but not at me... In her mind I was her lone compadre among the siblings... That changed rapidly when KD and I hit it off and at first it wasn't obvious to me...

It really started showing up when MB started throwing me under the bus to KD, planting the seeds of doubt... Her methods are so insidious they're down right sociopathic...

My sick brother told me at the airport Sunday... "Anyone who's best friend is MB is not someone you want in your life."

Great observation....

WB

Kajem posted 2/18/2014 19:28 PM

((((((WB)))))))

I'm glad everyone sees the manipulations, in a way it makes things easier.

K

FaithFool posted 2/18/2014 20:30 PM

"By my friends ye shall know me."

Words to live by.

better4me posted 2/19/2014 21:25 PM

(((hugs)))and courage, my friend. Looks like those who are on your side understand the adage "when people show you who they are, believe them". MB sounds pretty cray cray.

Well, I'm suiting up in my man version of "bitch boots"

I want a visual on that!

IrishLass518 posted 2/20/2014 08:20 AM

WB, so sorry for all of this unnecessary and self serving drama from your older brother and MB. Out of curiosity, was MB an OW with your brother or your brother an OM? There seems to be a ton of self created drama going on there that feels a little familiar, IYKWIM. As far as KD goes, she ended the R because she couldn't handle your younger brother's illness, as I recall. Why is it okay to visit and see his illness now?

persevere posted 2/20/2014 18:13 PM

"Anyone who's best friend is MB is not someone you want in your life."

Great point...so sorry you've had to deal with this, but glad you are there for your brother.

mixedemotions posted 3/3/2014 02:18 AM

WB I read this when you posted it and thought about you a lot, same with your earlier posts about things being over with KD. Sometimes I get in lurker mode and have plenty to say in my mind, but for whatever reason don't log in to share it, and then usually regret it, especially when I un-lurk myself after so long that I don't remember to follow up.

I digress, but wanted to be sure to tell you that what you've been going through has made a big impact on me. I remember how happy you were with KD in the beginning, that gave me a lot of hope for my future during a very dark time in my life. It was a breath of fresh air to be reminded that love exists on the other side of the pain. I was excited for you, and pretty jealous

I'm beyond impressed that you were able to make such a healthy decision for yourself despite it having been such a beautiful relationship in the beginning. I struggle with that a lot, that feeling of "but we were so good..when we were good..." and that tends to keep me hanging on way past what's healthy for me. I do it with friends, family, and partners, letting the nice part of our past speak louder than the present, even when the present is unhappy and hurtful. I think it's really important for me to see examples of people setting a very hard but clear boundary for what they know they deserve, and sticking to it even when it's not easy.

I'm also impressed with how much you seem to keep managing with such grace - this thread being the prime example. You sure are having a rough go lately, but I'm glad you've got your SI family rallying behind you. Hope those man version of bitch boots are serving you well!