This Topic is Archived
MadeOfScars (original poster member #42231) posted at 2:08 AM on Tuesday, February 18th, 2014
Pretty sure I know the answer, but nonetheless, I ask you guys. I've been debating whether or not I send her a simple "happy birthday" text. No more, no less. I know NC is best, but still.
We are definitely headed for D. Anyway, I am still tempted. What say you?
"Incredible change happens in your life when you decide to take control of what you do have power over instead of craving control over what you don’t." - Steve Maraboli
scarednbroken ( member #41961) posted at 2:10 AM on Tuesday, February 18th, 2014
No.
She doesn't deserve your well wishes. She wouldn't for you. NC NC. It would open the door to more hurt.
BS: Me 47 WH: 54 Kids: 17, 19, 21, 32 DD: every yr Ow: tons Status: fed-up. A woman should never invest in a relationship she wouldn't want for her daughter, nor should she allow any man to treat her in a way she would scold her son for
Howie ( member #41922) posted at 2:11 AM on Tuesday, February 18th, 2014
Kindness is good,so is justice.It is not good that a betrayal can make one small minded.But..15 year later and after good R,I still don't recognize her birthday.It is my small signal -don't stab me,it mattered.
MadeOfScars (original poster member #42231) posted at 2:13 AM on Tuesday, February 18th, 2014
Thanks scarednbroken. SI is a great sounding board for these crazy thoughts. My STBXW was always big on birthdays. That is why I was debating saying anything or remaining silent. Both speak volumes, but I don't want to give the wrong message.
[This message edited by SoulHurts at 8:15 PM, February 17th (Monday)]
"Incredible change happens in your life when you decide to take control of what you do have power over instead of craving control over what you don’t." - Steve Maraboli
MadeOfScars (original poster member #42231) posted at 2:14 AM on Tuesday, February 18th, 2014
"Incredible change happens in your life when you decide to take control of what you do have power over instead of craving control over what you don’t." - Steve Maraboli
BryanP37 ( member #39685) posted at 2:20 AM on Tuesday, February 18th, 2014
No way! Don't say a thing! I agree she doesn't deserve any recognition for anything. Absolutely right that it opens you up to more hurt. Ignore her, go dark. If she gets upset you didn't acknowledge her birthday, oh well! Tough shit! NC will be the best route for you until you are shed of her.
BS: Me-47XWS: Her-w/b 42Married 7 yrs, together 9 years-No kidsEx had 4 month PA with her BFF's husband. Other flings confessed during discovery. On a road to a successful R after divorce but lymphoma took her before we were able to remarry.
MadeOfScars (original poster member #42231) posted at 2:24 AM on Tuesday, February 18th, 2014
Thanks for confirming and talking me off the ledge. I had a great time tonight with some co-workers tonight for her birthday! Beyond that, I'm staying quiet.
"Incredible change happens in your life when you decide to take control of what you do have power over instead of craving control over what you don’t." - Steve Maraboli
MadeOfScars (original poster member #42231) posted at 2:26 AM on Tuesday, February 18th, 2014
Let me make something clear from my last post. My outing wasn't about her birthday in any way, just it so happened I had a fun night on what happens to be her birthday.
"Incredible change happens in your life when you decide to take control of what you do have power over instead of craving control over what you don’t." - Steve Maraboli
scarednbroken ( member #41961) posted at 2:28 AM on Tuesday, February 18th, 2014
Good for you SH!!! 
BS: Me 47 WH: 54 Kids: 17, 19, 21, 32 DD: every yr Ow: tons Status: fed-up. A woman should never invest in a relationship she wouldn't want for her daughter, nor should she allow any man to treat her in a way she would scold her son for
Brandon808 ( member #35619) posted at 3:58 AM on Tuesday, February 18th, 2014
Happy Birthday equals "I am still on the hook"
[This message edited by Brandon808 at 9:59 PM, February 17th (Monday)]
MadeOfScars (original poster member #42231) posted at 4:01 AM on Tuesday, February 18th, 2014
I agree, just needed to hear it.
"Incredible change happens in your life when you decide to take control of what you do have power over instead of craving control over what you don’t." - Steve Maraboli
norabird ( member #42092) posted at 4:44 AM on Tuesday, February 18th, 2014
Totally great of you to resist saying HB and to go out with friends--yay!!!
Hope2B ( member #40474) posted at 5:16 AM on Tuesday, February 18th, 2014
NC means NC...not NC except for a birthday. Stay strong.
DDay: Feb. 25, 2013Trickle Truth/DDays: Sept 10, 11, 13, 15 (2013)
This Topic is Archived
