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Newest Member: MaryG (48494)

User Topic: It's her birthday. Do I say anything?
MadeOfScars
♂ 42231
Member # 42231
Default  Posted: 8:08 PM, February 17th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Pretty sure I know the answer, but nonetheless, I ask you guys. I've been debating whether or not I send her a simple "happy birthday" text. No more, no less. I know NC is best, but still.

We are definitely headed for D. Anyway, I am still tempted. What say you?


I have learned silence from the talkative, toleration from the intolerant, and kindness from the unkind; yet, strange, I am ungrateful to those teachers. ― Khalil Gibran

Posts: 2134 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Texas
scarednbroken
♀ 41961
Member # 41961
Default  Posted: 8:10 PM, February 17th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

No.

She doesn't deserve your well wishes. She wouldn't for you. NC NC. It would open the door to more hurt.


BS: Me 44 WH: 51 Kids: 14, 16, 18, 29 DD: every yr Ow: tons Status: fed-up. A woman should never invest in a relationship she wouldn't want for her daughter, nor should she allow any man to treat her in a way she would scold her son for

Posts: 422 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Midwest
Howie
♂ 41922
Member # 41922
Default  Posted: 8:11 PM, February 17th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Kindness is good,so is justice.It is not good that a betrayal can make one small minded.But..15 year later and after good R,I still don't recognize her birthday.It is my small signal -don't stab me,it mattered.

Posts: 198 | Registered: Jan 2014
MadeOfScars
♂ 42231
Member # 42231
Default  Posted: 8:13 PM, February 17th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks scarednbroken. SI is a great sounding board for these crazy thoughts. My STBXW was always big on birthdays. That is why I was debating saying anything or remaining silent. Both speak volumes, but I don't want to give the wrong message.

[This message edited by SoulHurts at 8:15 PM, February 17th (Monday)]


I have learned silence from the talkative, toleration from the intolerant, and kindness from the unkind; yet, strange, I am ungrateful to those teachers. ― Khalil Gibran

Posts: 2134 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Texas
MadeOfScars
♂ 42231
Member # 42231
Default  Posted: 8:14 PM, February 17th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Great point Howie.


I have learned silence from the talkative, toleration from the intolerant, and kindness from the unkind; yet, strange, I am ungrateful to those teachers. ― Khalil Gibran

Posts: 2134 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Texas
BryanP37
♂ 39685
Member # 39685
Default  Posted: 8:20 PM, February 17th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

No way! Don't say a thing! I agree she doesn't deserve any recognition for anything. Absolutely right that it opens you up to more hurt. Ignore her, go dark. If she gets upset you didn't acknowledge her birthday, oh well! Tough shit! NC will be the best route for you until you are shed of her.


BS: Me-39
XWS: Her-35
Married 7 yrs, together 9 years-No kids
Ex had 4 month PA with her BFF's husband. Other flings early in marriage confessed during discovery. Divorce final 6-25-2013. R after D suspended 03/2015 by my choice. Can't do it.

Posts: 40 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: Texas
MadeOfScars
♂ 42231
Member # 42231
Default  Posted: 8:24 PM, February 17th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks for confirming and talking me off the ledge. I had a great time tonight with some co-workers tonight for her birthday! Beyond that, I'm staying quiet.


I have learned silence from the talkative, toleration from the intolerant, and kindness from the unkind; yet, strange, I am ungrateful to those teachers. ― Khalil Gibran

Posts: 2134 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Texas
MadeOfScars
♂ 42231
Member # 42231
Default  Posted: 8:26 PM, February 17th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Let me make something clear from my last post. My outing wasn't about her birthday in any way, just it so happened I had a fun night on what happens to be her birthday.


I have learned silence from the talkative, toleration from the intolerant, and kindness from the unkind; yet, strange, I am ungrateful to those teachers. ― Khalil Gibran

Posts: 2134 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Texas
scarednbroken
♀ 41961
Member # 41961
Default  Posted: 8:28 PM, February 17th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Good for you SH!!!


BS: Me 44 WH: 51 Kids: 14, 16, 18, 29 DD: every yr Ow: tons Status: fed-up. A woman should never invest in a relationship she wouldn't want for her daughter, nor should she allow any man to treat her in a way she would scold her son for

Posts: 422 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Midwest
Brandon808
♂ 35619
Member # 35619
Default  Posted: 9:58 PM, February 17th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Happy Birthday equals "I am still on the hook"

[This message edited by Brandon808 at 9:59 PM, February 17th (Monday)]


xBH
D final 8/2012

Posts: 4272 | Registered: May 2012 | From: southeast
MadeOfScars
♂ 42231
Member # 42231
Default  Posted: 10:01 PM, February 17th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I agree, just needed to hear it.


I have learned silence from the talkative, toleration from the intolerant, and kindness from the unkind; yet, strange, I am ungrateful to those teachers. ― Khalil Gibran

Posts: 2134 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Texas
norabird
♀ 42092
Member # 42092
Default  Posted: 10:44 PM, February 17th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Totally great of you to resist saying HB and to go out with friends--yay!!!


Sit. Feast on your life.

Posts: 4313 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: NYC
Hope2B
♀ 40474
Member # 40474
Default  Posted: 11:16 PM, February 17th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

NC means NC...not NC except for a birthday. Stay strong.


Me: early 60s
Him: 65 yrs old, 7 year LTA w/a pro$titute
Married since 1980, no children
DDay: Feb. 25, 2013
Trickle Truth/DDays: Sept 10, 11, 13, 15 (2013)

Posts: 450 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: out west/west coast U.S.A.
Topic Posts: 13

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