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User
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Topic: It's her birthday. Do I say anything?
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MadeOfScars
♂ 42231
Member # 42231 |  Posted: 8:08 PM, February 17th (Monday), 2014 |     |
Pretty sure I know the answer, but nonetheless, I ask you guys. I've been debating whether or not I send her a simple "happy birthday" text. No more, no less. I know NC is best, but still.
We are definitely headed for D. Anyway, I am still tempted. What say you?
"Character is the ability to follow through on commitments that were made in moments of high resolve – even when we no longer feel like it." Carl Andersen
Posts: 3064 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Texas |
scarednbroken
♀ 41961
Member # 41961 | | Posted: 8:10 PM, February 17th (Monday), 2014 | |
No.
She doesn't deserve your well wishes. She wouldn't for you. NC NC. It would open the door to more hurt.
BS: Me 47 WH: 54 Kids: 17, 19, 21, 32 DD: every yr Ow: tons Status: fed-up. A woman should never invest in a relationship she wouldn't want for her daughter, nor should she allow any man to treat her in a way she would scold her son for
Posts: 423 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Midwest |
Howie
♂ 41922
Member # 41922 | | Posted: 8:11 PM, February 17th (Monday), 2014 | |
Kindness is good,so is justice.It is not good that a betrayal can make one small minded.But..15 year later and after good R,I still don't recognize her birthday.It is my small signal -don't stab me,it mattered.
Posts: 198 | Registered: Jan 2014 |
MadeOfScars
♂ 42231
Member # 42231 | | Posted: 8:13 PM, February 17th (Monday), 2014 | |
Thanks scarednbroken. SI is a great sounding board for these crazy thoughts. My STBXW was always big on birthdays. That is why I was debating saying anything or remaining silent. Both speak volumes, but I don't want to give the wrong message. [This message edited by SoulHurts at 8:15 PM, February 17th (Monday)]
"Character is the ability to follow through on commitments that were made in moments of high resolve – even when we no longer feel like it." Carl Andersen
Posts: 3064 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Texas |
MadeOfScars
♂ 42231
Member # 42231 | | Posted: 8:14 PM, February 17th (Monday), 2014 | |
Great point Howie.
"Character is the ability to follow through on commitments that were made in moments of high resolve – even when we no longer feel like it." Carl Andersen
Posts: 3064 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Texas |
BryanP37
♂ 39685
Member # 39685 | | Posted: 8:20 PM, February 17th (Monday), 2014 | |
No way! Don't say a thing! I agree she doesn't deserve any recognition for anything. Absolutely right that it opens you up to more hurt. Ignore her, go dark. If she gets upset you didn't acknowledge her birthday, oh well! Tough shit! NC will be the best route for you until you are shed of her.
BS: Me-41
XWS: Her-37
Married 7 yrs, together 9 years-No kids
Ex had 4 month PA with her BFF's husband. Other flings confessed during discovery. On a road to a successful R after divorce but lymphoma took her before we were able to remarry.
Posts: 53 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: Texas |
MadeOfScars
♂ 42231
Member # 42231 | | Posted: 8:24 PM, February 17th (Monday), 2014 | |
Thanks for confirming and talking me off the ledge. I had a great time tonight with some co-workers tonight for her birthday! Beyond that, I'm staying quiet.
"Character is the ability to follow through on commitments that were made in moments of high resolve – even when we no longer feel like it." Carl Andersen
Posts: 3064 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Texas |
MadeOfScars
♂ 42231
Member # 42231 | | Posted: 8:26 PM, February 17th (Monday), 2014 | |
Let me make something clear from my last post. My outing wasn't about her birthday in any way, just it so happened I had a fun night on what happens to be her birthday.
"Character is the ability to follow through on commitments that were made in moments of high resolve – even when we no longer feel like it." Carl Andersen
Posts: 3064 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Texas |
scarednbroken
♀ 41961
Member # 41961 | | Posted: 8:28 PM, February 17th (Monday), 2014 | |
Good for you SH!!! 
BS: Me 47 WH: 54 Kids: 17, 19, 21, 32 DD: every yr Ow: tons Status: fed-up. A woman should never invest in a relationship she wouldn't want for her daughter, nor should she allow any man to treat her in a way she would scold her son for
Posts: 423 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Midwest |
Brandon808
♂ 35619
Member # 35619 | | Posted: 9:58 PM, February 17th (Monday), 2014 | |
Happy Birthday equals "I am still on the hook" [This message edited by Brandon808 at 9:59 PM, February 17th (Monday)]
Posts: 4634 | Registered: May 2012 |
MadeOfScars
♂ 42231
Member # 42231 | | Posted: 10:01 PM, February 17th (Monday), 2014 | |
I agree, just needed to hear it.
"Character is the ability to follow through on commitments that were made in moments of high resolve – even when we no longer feel like it." Carl Andersen
Posts: 3064 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Texas |
norabird
♀ 42092
Member # 42092 | | Posted: 10:44 PM, February 17th (Monday), 2014 | |
Totally great of you to resist saying HB and to go out with friends--yay!!!
Sit. Feast on your life.
Posts: 4324 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: NYC |
Hope2B
♀ 40474
Member # 40474 | | Posted: 11:16 PM, February 17th (Monday), 2014 | |
NC means NC...not NC except for a birthday. Stay strong.
DDay: Feb. 25, 2013
Trickle Truth/DDays: Sept 10, 11, 13, 15 (2013)
Posts: 619 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: U.S.A. |
| Topic Posts: 13 | |
