My dilemma is, I have offered to get a new job because I know that it bothers him when I am there. It is also really getting to me being there. I hate going in there and I hate seeing certain people I work with. He has told me that I should just stick it out until I am done school. I will be done school at the end of August. The thing is with this job is that I make more than minimum wage by quite a bit, they have been accommodating with my schooling, and I only work one day a week (holidays too).
I guess I would just like to know what I should do? Should I stick it out until I am done school? Or should I get another job? If I get another job I would probably have to work more than one day a week and I wouldn't make as much.
[This message edited by FR2012 at 9:11 PM, February 17th (Monday)]
Leaving would ease BH's mind. You would be away from AP and toxic people. It would bring a level of relaxation you both may need desperately. BH especially.
Leaving would mean a new job with more hours. How would he feel with you being gone more, even if it means your not in proximity to AP?
Would a new job/more hours be worth it to be away from AP?
Only y'all can decide that. All we can do is offer opinion. If it was me? I'd walk. Yesterday.
WH#2 - Committed suicide in our home prior to divorce being final
XWH #1 - legally married 18yrs. 12+ OW (that I know of).
I edit often for clarity/typos.
What's more important? Your husbands sanity, your sanity and your marriage or a few extra bucks a week?
Would a new work schedule for you cause problems? If not, then do it. Like yesterday.
And if it does, then work on making the necessary changes so you can find a new job. Honestly, I would not be at a place that had so many triggers for my BH.
And who knows, you just may find a p/t job that has decent pay and that you enjoy!
[This message edited by SandAway at 4:48 AM, February 18th (Tuesday)]
Guns don't kill people; Affairs kill people
I am a sex addict, working on myself, and facing the wreckage of my actions. Original D-Day was in 2008. My lies about my sexual addiction and STD lasted for another 5 years.
FR2012 - It is also really getting to me being there. I hate going in there and I hate seeing certain people I work with.
I won't repeat the same great advice that you have already gotten ...
I just want you to think of what you said in your quote and then ask yourself, if there ever really enough money in the world to justify going into work when you hate your job?
I think you already have your answer.
At my old job we had free childcare cuz my daughter came with me and that was one of the factors we considered. Now we are paying for childcare for four days a week and it sucks and its harder to stay up to date with bills....but the piece of mind is totally worth it...for both me and my BH.
I thought at first that I could still see XAP at work and it wouldn't affect me, and it was horribly wrong. It was too hard emotionally to see him everyday and I couldn't do it anymore. Leaving that job and everyone associated with it was the best thing I could have done for myself and my BH.
Just my thoughts! !
I have offered to get a new job because I know that it bothers him when I am there. It is also really getting to me being there. I hate going in there and I hate seeing certain people I work with.
Gently, as a BS I took FWW "offering" to do a thing after dday as passive. I wanted to see some initiative from her. I wanted to see that getting rid of my painful triggers and stress was as important to her as to me.
Next, you can look at this with cost/benefit consideration. It bothers him when you go, you hate seeing certain people and it bothers you to be there. How does this rank compared to the difference in income from this job and some other 1 day (Saturday) a week job?
If you are looking to try and save your M after an A, you and your BH are facing a very difficult period emotionally. You may even find your school schedule will need to be slowed down to address this issue in the short term. Staying involved with a job where your OM is present, and you and your BS both dislike some of the people seems like task-loading on top of all the other (school, R, MC, IC, childcare) that you are both trying to manage.
[This message edited by atsenaotie at 9:07 AM, February 18th (Tuesday)]