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Can't Access The Anger, Even To Deal With It

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Ascendant posted 2/17/2014 23:03 PM

So, I went to my IC the other day because I notice I have a problem: whenever I get angry about affair-unrelated stuff, all the angry affair thoughts come bubbling up with it. I don't think it's that uncommon to the people here who know what I mean. It's like a pot of hot oil....it looks calm, but throw something else in there and it starts to bubble and hiss.

However, what is troubling me is that those 'linking' moments are the only time I'm able to access the anger and hurt. I've tried. On Thursdays I have my entire house to myself for about 5 hours while my son is at school and my wife is working, and I have attempted to get at those feelings in order to feel them and work through them in a safe environment, and it's a no-go. I just can't do it.

Anyway, my therapist has suggested some EMDR therapy for me....I confess that I don't completely "get it". I mean, I've read about it and whatnot, I get the process therein, but what I mean is that I don't have any specific traumatic moments from the affair that are getting me upset. It's mostly generalized feelings of anger at being manipulated, or lied to, or used...does the EMDR still work for stuff like that?

Anyone with any insight here?

BAB61 posted 2/18/2014 01:11 AM

I think you may want to give it a chance, the somatic response can be very strong. I'm a bodywork professional, and one of our sayings is "the issues are in the tissues" .. and when you work on people you have to be careful of transference and counter-transference. EMDR is a somatic therapy, it uses the body to access the emotions.

You may be blocking and are unaware of it. That is why it boils out with other anger .. I'm just guessing that maybe the anger is so deep and strong that that idea of letting it out is a bit scary. (((((FacePunched))))) I say go for it ... but I'm a proactive type.

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