Cookies are required for login or registration. Please read and agree to our cookie policy to continue.

Newest Member: Ganon27

General :
Can't Access The Anger, Even To Deal With It

This Topic is Archived
default

 Ascendant (original poster member #38303) posted at 5:03 AM on Tuesday, February 18th, 2014

So, I went to my IC the other day because I notice I have a problem: whenever I get angry about affair-unrelated stuff, all the angry affair thoughts come bubbling up with it. I don't think it's that uncommon to the people here who know what I mean. It's like a pot of hot oil....it looks calm, but throw something else in there and it starts to bubble and hiss.

However, what is troubling me is that those 'linking' moments are the only time I'm able to access the anger and hurt. I've tried. On Thursdays I have my entire house to myself for about 5 hours while my son is at school and my wife is working, and I have attempted to get at those feelings in order to feel them and work through them in a safe environment, and it's a no-go. I just can't do it.

Anyway, my therapist has suggested some EMDR therapy for me....I confess that I don't completely "get it". I mean, I've read about it and whatnot, I get the process therein, but what I mean is that I don't have any specific traumatic moments from the affair that are getting me upset. It's mostly generalized feelings of anger at being manipulated, or lied to, or used...does the EMDR still work for stuff like that?

Anyone with any insight here?

posts: 5193   ·   registered: Jan. 30th, 2013   ·   location: North of Chicago, Illinois
id 6690270
default

BAB61 ( member #41181) posted at 7:11 AM on Tuesday, February 18th, 2014

I think you may want to give it a chance, the somatic response can be very strong. I'm a bodywork professional, and one of our sayings is "the issues are in the tissues" .. and when you work on people you have to be careful of transference and counter-transference. EMDR is a somatic therapy, it uses the body to access the emotions.

You may be blocking and are unaware of it. That is why it boils out with other anger .. I'm just guessing that maybe the anger is so deep and strong that that idea of letting it out is a bit scary. (((((FacePunched))))) I say go for it ... but I'm a proactive type.

Boss A** B*tch
BS/52 Me, STBXpos/56, dd's 16&14
1st D-day 10/19/2013 EA/PA
2nd D-day 12/7/2013 LTA/Rendezvous
S 12/7/2013 No-fault state, 6 mo S, counting down the days.

posts: 1271   ·   registered: Oct. 31st, 2013   ·   location: DE
id 6690332
This Topic is Archived
Cookies on SurvivingInfidelity.com®

SurvivingInfidelity.com® uses cookies to enhance your visit to our website. This is a requirement for participants to login, post and use other features. Visitors may opt out, but the website will be less functional for you.

v.1.001.20250404a 2002-2025 SurvivingInfidelity.com® All Rights Reserved. • Privacy Policy