Unagie - I was honest about my cheating and his. There was an immediate feeling of judgement and I felt disgusted ...
A lot of people are quite judgmental in nature and seemingly quite proud of the fact. They revel in a smug superiority of "well, i never" attitude that denies the reality that under different circumstances, under different situations, their morality is not guaranteed to last any better than anyone else.
And yet, inside of the WS heart, you can understand the judgement and the vilification. We broke sacred trusts, we hurt our lovers, spouses and partners to the core. Adultery is one of the 10 commandments and at a certain time, historically, we would all have suffered grievous harm at the hands of the spouses, their families, our churches and the community. That bias still exists in our reptile brain. To a outsider, its like we have broken a fundamental rule of nature with our affairs and therefore, we should be judged. Yecch..
However, as Floridaredman says, this is one of those consequences of adultery that we must face.
Sorry you have to go through this.