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Hatemyhusband posted 2/18/2014 08:43 AM

As details emerge and I see how bad these decisions my H made were, I just cry. I cry for my kids. I feel so bad that they have a father like my husband. They have no idea the person he really is not did I.
I am strong. I will bounce back but these little guys did nothing but deserve to have a dad who is respectful member of society

Dd was dec 1st after i confronted him w phone records. He "came clean" and started IC and MC few weeks ago. I've had an IC bc I thought I was going nuts drink this 2.5 yr time period. Only to find out I actually am married to a but. A sick, perverted nasty man
I discovered something he left out. A place they screwed. He denied five times then admitted. Came "clean" adding more details and places. I am repulsed. He "didn't tell me on advice of IC to wait to do so in front of MC". He had appt w MC alone today ironically. Yet I discovered first

Add citing thru my grandmothers cemetery to walk into an abandoned house. (Ironically, I'd sit and cry at her gravesite weekly begging for insight and strength)
Her classroom. Did I mention she is a k teacher? He screwed her in her classroom multiple times after her students left. Oh, on his way home from work where my kids let themselves in house alone bc daddy was working

Oh. And he was never seen in public. Add to this 5 or so restaurants he took her to at lunch time. An a lovely inn she booked for his birthday. Not overnight but a huge sex fest

Daily viewing. Of porn. Daily meetings before or after work to say hello and feel each other up and nights spent texting we from the couch. Add to this the pictures he and her snapped while masturbating at night. Sent via text

Hell, I'm married to one great stand up guy and my kids are so blessed with a dad "who always put them first"

Time for me to leave this board, I am sad to say. I've got my eyes wife opened now and realizing alone may be the best place in all of this.

eachdayisvictory posted 2/18/2014 08:55 AM

So sorry for what you are feeling and going through right now.

Take care of yourself and your kids right now. Don't let the hate and anger drive your life. It's so hard, and for me the disregard for our children is still the hardest part for me to think about. Especially since our kids are so young and all they know is what they feel going on around them.

Also, I would suggest that you give yourself time and room and the freedom to change your mind. I don't know how far out you are, but this is a very difficult time to make hard and fast decisions about life. It's such a conundrum because that's exactly what we have to do in the face of infidelity.

Just, be kind to yourself. You may not be able to R with your H, and that is absolutely ok. You will be ok, and you will not feel like this forever.

Hugs.