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Newest Member: finestgun (46596)

User Topic: Contempt of Court
♀ 32265
Member # 32265
Default  Posted: 8:22 PM, February 18th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I was wondering if anyone has filed a Contempt of Court form for non-payment of spousal support.
I sent him an email today stating in the divorce decree it states payments were due the first of the month either by electronic transfer or payroll deduction. He did neither for January. He sent a check with our daughter Jan. 25th. He has not paid February
He sent me back a nasty email saying I need to give him a break so he can get his finances in order and that he doesn't give a damn, have him thrown in jail.
So I want to file a Contempt of Court. Does anyone have any experience with filing it themselves without a lawyer?
Thank you so much for any advice.

[This message edited by soveryweary at 8:23 PM, February 18th (Tuesday)]

Divorced 1/3/14

Posts: 628 | Registered: May 2011
♀ 32962
Member # 32962
Default  Posted: 8:31 PM, February 18th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

If I were you I would first go down to the state child support enforcement office and enroll there for them to garnish it from his paycheck. That way he has to answer to them and it doesn't cost you anything. If he gets behind, they will file the contempt action. All you need to do is bring with you the child support order. ight bring you children's birth certs and social security cards to avoid having to bring those back. At the time you fill out the paperwork you will state how far behind he is and they will go after it.

Edited to add that I see this is spousal support, but in my state, spousal support can be garnished just like child support and handled by the same office. Check with your state.

[This message edited by debbysbaby at 8:32 PM, February 18th (Tuesday)]

-betrayed almost my whole almost 15 yr marriage
-divorced since 2004

Posts: 901 | Registered: Aug 2011
♀ 41181
Member # 41181
Default  Posted: 11:31 PM, February 18th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am interested in what you find out .. haven't D'd yet .. but can foresee this kind of thing with the STBX ... *sigh*


Boss A** B*tch
BS/52 Me, STBXpos/56, dd's 16&14
1st D-day 10/19/2013 EA/PA
2nd D-day 12/7/2013 LTA/Rendezvous
S 12/7/2013 No-fault state, 6 mo S, counting down the days.

Posts: 1271 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: DE
♀ 27148
Member # 27148
Default  Posted: 11:42 PM, February 18th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

NPD-x fell behind with Cs and SS.

I went to the Child Support Enforcement agency in my state and they took care of it. I think I had to pay a $25 fee and before I knew it his pay was garnished.

It was easy.

Donít get to the end of your life and find that you lived only the length of it; live the width of it as well.†

Posts: 2937 | Registered: Jan 2010
♀ 32554
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 11:50 PM, February 18th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I went to our state's garnishment system. Those people are on the ball, they don't screw around, and they collect any delinquency.

Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - DIVORCED!

Posts: 10311 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
really trying
♀ 5311
Member # 5311
Default  Posted: 12:07 AM, February 19th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

don't know what state you're in but in CA, the State child support center or whatever they're called just collected the garnishment from his work and then deposited it in my account. They didn't do anything if the amount was different from the order, etc. I don't know if the same place collects other garnishments as well.

I don't know if he'd be thrown in jail for contempt of court or fined but if he's in jail, he's not working and you need him working.

but, yes, his work needs a copy of the order, they will comply.

[This message edited by really trying at 12:08 AM, February 19th (Wednesday)]

Me: late 40's
XH: A parasite and that might be a compliment
My S-23, Our D-15
Married 5/93 D-Day: 11/18/03
Divorced 5/19/08

The future's so bright - I got to wear shades

Plant Seeds of Kindness

Posts: 10407 | Registered: Sep 2004 | From: California
♀ 1330
Member # 1330
Default  Posted: 4:23 AM, February 19th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I've filed four Contempt of Court complaints.

It's fairly straightforward. The Clerk of the Court will have the forms and the process outlined. You will need to have your ex served by a process server--you cannot serve him and you probably can't have a relative serve him. Best to pay the fee and have it done properly. You then need to file proof of process back with the court so that they know he has been properly notified.

At the time you file, you'll be given a court date. For that date, you would need to show up and show that he hasn't paid.

In my state, SS cannot be garnished (at least not in my case--it's complicated). And in some states, garnishment won't cover payments in arrears. So while garnishment may be a good way going forward, you will likely have to file a complaint for contempt to get him to pay the arrears.


FBS: Married 20 years, 2 daughters 25 and 22. Divorced by the grace of GOD.
D-Days: 2/23/93; 10/11/97; 3/5/03
Ex & OW Broke up 12-10
"An erection does not count as personal growth."

Posts: 29803 | Registered: Apr 2003 | From: Massachusetts
♀ 32265
Member # 32265
Default  Posted: 5:28 AM, February 19th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you for the replies.
He fired me off a nasty email again, accusing me of being miserable and taking it out on him. He went on and on about how unhappy I must be. Totally not true. Funny, in the initial email all I asked was a simple question.
Told me to throw him in jail, our children will think bad of me, yadda, yadda, yadda. Now he blocked me from his email and will only talk to me in the future. Well, no talking, I'll just file the contempt of court. As for our adult children, I'm not worried, I'm only asking that their father follow the decree.
THanks again.

Divorced 1/3/14

Posts: 628 | Registered: May 2011
♂ 16953
Member # 16953
Default  Posted: 6:13 AM, February 19th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You cannot not have a logical conversation with a person who thinks illogically. The NPD comes into full swing when its time for them to face consequence. They are so wrapped up in their sick sense of entitlement that you, lawyers and even the court system can not sway their decision making. They feel they are entitled to do what they want when they want and should have no repercussions for their actions. He feels he is a victim and will demonize you because your the enemy in his eye. And his grand stand of nonpayment is his way to show you he is still in charge and holds the power. Your only recourse is to go to enforcement and allow the state show him that the courts have the final say, not him. This is his last ditched effort to hold control over you. You need to knock him off his high horse and allow the legal system to deal with his ass. Don't threaten it, just do it and let the chips fall where they land. And while your waiting for the system to work its magic, go NC and stop giving him a platform to preach his nonsense from.

You cant eat soup with chopsticks.

Posts: 6051 | Registered: Nov 2007
♂ 30221
Member # 30221
Default  Posted: 7:06 AM, February 19th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Contempt of court is an offense against the court.

You cannot 'file' for it. They are issued by the court.

"I never saw a wild thing sorry for itself. A bird will fall frozen dead from a bough without ever having felt sorry for itself." D. H. Lawrence

Her: WW/57 Me: BS/63 24yrs M
3 great kids, now 22, 20, 17 b,b,g
D-Day 8/14/08, D 1/13/11

Posts: 1164 | Registered: Nov 2010 | From: East Coast
♂ 34236
Member # 34236
Default  Posted: 8:14 AM, February 19th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Did you check on your state support obligation resources? As many of the ladies stated in responses, where there is an infrastructure for state sponsored payroll deduction, the fasted and easiest way to get regular and timely payments is through those procedures. If you need a Court order in your jurisdiction, file a motion to compel/hold in contempt. The court will fashion an appropriate remedy like payroll deduction. Contempt usually only comes in when there is no employer (self employed or otherwise) and the court finds an ability to pay. Bottom line---don't involve the court unless you have to. Use the payroll deduction/garnishment process if it is available without court order.

Endeavor to persevere.

Posts: 494 | Registered: Dec 2011 | From: NE US
♀ 31094
Member # 31094
Default  Posted: 8:29 AM, February 19th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

If you are going to talk to him from now on instead of email (since he so maturely blocked you) make sure you record all conversations so he can't ever twist your words, or make shit up. I would tell him before every conversation "This is being recorded" so he can't claim you recorded him in secret.

Posts: 3435 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: NWPA
♂ 34236
Member # 34236
Default  Posted: 6:59 AM, February 21st (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Only a few states require disclosure before recording conversations. Unless you live in one of those states, there is no need to tell him.

Endeavor to persevere.

Posts: 494 | Registered: Dec 2011 | From: NE US
♀ 32265
Member # 32265
Default  Posted: 7:22 AM, February 21st (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

He sent a check over with my daughter last night.
I don't like her having to be the go between, but at least he paid. He didn't pay the way the decree states, so I'm not sure what I am going to do about that.
And why is it I am feeling bad, like I did something wrong? Oh I know, it's because this is how it went our whole marriage. I did something he didn't like, he berated me, making me feel like crap. As I read so many times here, lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for all the advice.

Divorced 1/3/14

Posts: 628 | Registered: May 2011
Topic Posts: 14

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