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Divorce/Separation :
I'm either nuts, or the nicest XW in the world

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doh

 devistatedmom (original poster member #24961) posted at 3:10 AM on Wednesday, February 19th, 2014

I don't know what the heck is going on right now. XWH and DS have been playing hockey together on Tuesday nights the last few weeks. Off they go tonight...

XWH calls me. Says son is still on ice. I say, yeah, and you aren't, because?? Well, he blew out his knee and needs to go to the hospital. They are playing in my town, hospital is in my town, sounds simple, right? Ummm, nope.

XWH in all his wisdom bought a standard car, not automatic. Saved him from insuring DS on his car, and he doesn't help me pay for the insurance on mine for DS. Problem is, DS can't drive standard. I can't drive standard. So now, he's at the rink, he can't drive, DS can't drive. So, someone dropped XWH off at the hospital, then they brought DS home in XWH's car. They leave XWH's car in my driveway, and DS drives the guy back to the rink in my car so the guy can get his own car. Now DS is going to come home and wait for his dad to call to say he's done, then DS is going to take my car over to the hospital, get XWH, and drive him to his home in another town about 25 min away. So, I guess I'm stuck with his car in my driveway for a few days.

Did you follow that? I'm glad if you did...because I'm still not sure what the heck just happened/is happening.

**edited to try and clarify **

[This message edited by devistatedmom at 9:12 PM, February 18th (Tuesday)]

BS(me) 46, Two wonderful teens.
He is no longer my best friend. Repeat until it sticks.

WH says marriage is over: May 15, 2009.
EA#2 July 20, 2009. Legally sep: Aug 16, 2009. DIVORCED!!!! Signed Nov 23, final Dec 24, 2010, adultery listed.

posts: 5921   ·   registered: Jul. 27th, 2009   ·   location: Canada
id 6691579
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nowiknow23 ( member #33226) posted at 3:18 AM on Wednesday, February 19th, 2014

I followed it. I may vote for C - a little nuts AND the nicest XW ever.

You can call me NIK

And never grow a wishbone, daughter, where your backbone ought to be.
― Sarah McMane

posts: 40250   ·   registered: Aug. 29th, 2011
id 6691599
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tryingagain74 ( member #33698) posted at 3:20 AM on Wednesday, February 19th, 2014

Do you have AAA? Call them and have them tow XWH's car to his house. AAA responds to its members whether the vehicle owner is a AAA member or not. When XWH's car died years ago (back when we were engaged, so he couldn't be on my membership), I called them and showed them my card, and they jumped his car, no questions asked, even though he was not a member. If you're paying for a membership, and the number of miles you have are within the towable limits, then I'd have that sucker towed away only so I wouldn't have to deal with XWH any more than I had to. Just a thought.

FBS; now happily liberated!
Two DS and One DD
It matters not how strait the gate,/How charged with punishments the scroll./I am the master of my fate:/I am the captain of my soul.--"Invictus," William Ernest Henley

posts: 4079   ·   registered: Oct. 22nd, 2011
id 6691601
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 devistatedmom (original poster member #24961) posted at 3:25 AM on Wednesday, February 19th, 2014

Hmmm, food for thought tryingagain. I do have CAA (I'm in Canada). I'm not sure what my towing area is though. I think I'll wait to see exactly how badly he hurt himself ( ) (Ooops, that was bad form... ) what his plan is, and go from there. It isn't going to bug me while I'm sleeping tonight, and I'm at work all day tomorrow. We shall see.

NIK, I'll take C too.

BS(me) 46, Two wonderful teens.
He is no longer my best friend. Repeat until it sticks.

WH says marriage is over: May 15, 2009.
EA#2 July 20, 2009. Legally sep: Aug 16, 2009. DIVORCED!!!! Signed Nov 23, final Dec 24, 2010, adultery listed.

posts: 5921   ·   registered: Jul. 27th, 2009   ·   location: Canada
id 6691611
default

 devistatedmom (original poster member #24961) posted at 3:27 AM on Wednesday, February 19th, 2014

Forgot to mention...I'm more worried about DS driving up there and back tonight, in the dark, in what might be a very late night. I'm betting I'm going to have to deal with a kid that wants to take the day off school tomorrow. As long as he gets home safe, and my car is safe (I'm screwed without my car), I'll deal with the rest. Did I mention we had a snow storm today, and I never put snow tires on the car? (Bad DM)

BS(me) 46, Two wonderful teens.
He is no longer my best friend. Repeat until it sticks.

WH says marriage is over: May 15, 2009.
EA#2 July 20, 2009. Legally sep: Aug 16, 2009. DIVORCED!!!! Signed Nov 23, final Dec 24, 2010, adultery listed.

posts: 5921   ·   registered: Jul. 27th, 2009   ·   location: Canada
id 6691614
default

littlefoggy ( member #41429) posted at 3:39 AM on Wednesday, February 19th, 2014

That is quite nice. And a little nuts.

But you don't need to know how to drive stick to pop it in neutral and let it roll into the street if he leaves it there too long.

Me: BW 30
WH 37
DDay 11/12/13
Divorcing

posts: 505   ·   registered: Nov. 23rd, 2013
id 6691637
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 devistatedmom (original poster member #24961) posted at 3:44 AM on Wednesday, February 19th, 2014

Funny aside: So, DD comes upstairs and I tell her her dad hurt himself, he's going to the hospital, yada yada. After the proper, oh, poor dad comments, know what her first thought is?

"Hey mom?" (with a big smile on her face) "If dad is hurt and can't drive, does that mean I don't have to go to for dinner with him tomorrow?"

BS(me) 46, Two wonderful teens.
He is no longer my best friend. Repeat until it sticks.

WH says marriage is over: May 15, 2009.
EA#2 July 20, 2009. Legally sep: Aug 16, 2009. DIVORCED!!!! Signed Nov 23, final Dec 24, 2010, adultery listed.

posts: 5921   ·   registered: Jul. 27th, 2009   ·   location: Canada
id 6691644
default

inconnu ( member #24518) posted at 3:57 AM on Wednesday, February 19th, 2014

you can be nuts and nice at the same time, ya know.

There is no joy without gratitude. - Brené Brown

posts: 13294   ·   registered: Jun. 21st, 2009   ·   location: DeepInTheHeartof, Texas
id 6691663
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GabyBaby ( member #26928) posted at 3:58 AM on Wednesday, February 19th, 2014

You should go with DS to pick XWH up from the hospital.

First stop afterwards is an ATM machine for $XX in gas money to reimburse you!

Me - late 40s
DD(27), DS(24, PDD-NOS)

WH#2 (SorryinSac)- Killed himself (May 2015) in our home 6 days after being served divorce docs.
XWH #1 - legally married 18yrs. 12+ OW (that I know of).

I edit often for clarity/typos.

posts: 10094   ·   registered: Dec. 26th, 2009   ·   location: Here and There
id 6691667
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Amazonia ( member #32810) posted at 12:50 PM on Wednesday, February 19th, 2014

Tow it and send him the bill.

"You yourself deserve your love and affection as much as anybody in the universe." -Buddha
"Let's face it, life is a crap shoot." -Sad in AZ

posts: 14469   ·   registered: Jul. 17th, 2011
id 6691889
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imwideawake ( member #23386) posted at 12:54 PM on Wednesday, February 19th, 2014

How bad am I that I lol'ed at what your DD said?

Together 21 years.
Married 19
Me: BW
Him XWH
dday 9/08
3 daughters, now grown
Divorced 12/04/12

posts: 1049   ·   registered: Mar. 26th, 2009   ·   location: currently in school getting my degree
id 6691892
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nekorb ( member #40306) posted at 1:30 PM on Wednesday, February 19th, 2014

Well, yes it was nice. But your only other option was to be petty during a health emergency, so you made a great choice!

It's crazy that he didn't call someone besides YOU to help him deal! Not sure why he didn't have you pick your son up and handle the rest himself. You get bonus points for not telling him that.

Let's see if your WH reciprocates appropriately and somehow compensates you for your trouble.

I like the way your DD thinks!

[This message edited by nekorb at 7:31 AM, February 19th (Wednesday)]

Me: BS 44; Him: WH 47 M - 22 Years
D-day: 7/2013; D filed 7/2014; Divorced 7-27-16
...the WS affair starts off in a dreamland where everything is all Golly, Wow! and Meant To Be! and Soul Mates drop from the trees to frolic in the mist. -devotedman

posts: 5796   ·   registered: Aug. 13th, 2013
id 6691924
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careerlady ( member #16958) posted at 3:43 PM on Wednesday, February 19th, 2014

Did DS make it back ok? That would be my major concern as well. I'm always too nice I guess, I would have helped out as well

Me (BS, 35); The Snake (WS, 36) 13yrs together; 1 baby boy (DOB 7/12)
Serial cheater-Multiple OWs, Multiple D-Days
D by default 5/3/14!
In house 8 mos, moved out 7/1!!!
Summary: http://youtu.be/iaysTVcounI

posts: 949   ·   registered: Nov. 10th, 2007   ·   location: Northern California
id 6692110
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 devistatedmom (original poster member #24961) posted at 10:14 PM on Wednesday, February 19th, 2014

I'm wide awake, I lol'd too.

Yes, DS got home at about 1am. We are dragging our butts a bit today. Can't imagine why.

XWH called this morning to say thank you, and that he may need my son to run around picking up prescriptions for him, groceries, etc. Ummm...yeah. In my car, in a town 25 min away....I didn't comment.

He's on crutches, needs to see another doctor to get an MRI. He's torn something. Poor baby.

BS(me) 46, Two wonderful teens.
He is no longer my best friend. Repeat until it sticks.

WH says marriage is over: May 15, 2009.
EA#2 July 20, 2009. Legally sep: Aug 16, 2009. DIVORCED!!!! Signed Nov 23, final Dec 24, 2010, adultery listed.

posts: 5921   ·   registered: Jul. 27th, 2009   ·   location: Canada
id 6692740
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nekorb ( member #40306) posted at 10:33 PM on Wednesday, February 19th, 2014

He needs your SON to do this?

Give me a break.

At least he called to say thank you.

Me: BS 44; Him: WH 47 M - 22 Years
D-day: 7/2013; D filed 7/2014; Divorced 7-27-16
...the WS affair starts off in a dreamland where everything is all Golly, Wow! and Meant To Be! and Soul Mates drop from the trees to frolic in the mist. -devotedman

posts: 5796   ·   registered: Aug. 13th, 2013
id 6692772
default

GabyBaby ( member #26928) posted at 10:37 PM on Wednesday, February 19th, 2014

he may need my son to run around picking up prescriptions for him, groceries, etc.

You mean his one true luuuurrrve isn't around to wait on him hand and foot?! Color me surprised.

I know your son is going to want to help his father, but there should be a discussion about reimbursing your gas expense (let alone the wear and tear on your car). The one time drop off/pick up/car switcheroo is one thing, but this ongoing "help" out of your pocket? Uhhhh no.

Me - late 40s
DD(27), DS(24, PDD-NOS)

WH#2 (SorryinSac)- Killed himself (May 2015) in our home 6 days after being served divorce docs.
XWH #1 - legally married 18yrs. 12+ OW (that I know of).

I edit often for clarity/typos.

posts: 10094   ·   registered: Dec. 26th, 2009   ·   location: Here and There
id 6692777
default

 devistatedmom (original poster member #24961) posted at 10:57 PM on Wednesday, February 19th, 2014

Oh, he said something about topping up my gas tank. Whoopie.

Gaby, he broke up with OW long ago. He had a new GF within 2 weeks, and he has been with her for a few years now. She doesn't live around here, she lives an hour away in another town. So, we are the closest "family/friends" he has to where he lives.

We will see. If I need my car when he wants stuff done, it won't be happening. One step at a time.

BS(me) 46, Two wonderful teens.
He is no longer my best friend. Repeat until it sticks.

WH says marriage is over: May 15, 2009.
EA#2 July 20, 2009. Legally sep: Aug 16, 2009. DIVORCED!!!! Signed Nov 23, final Dec 24, 2010, adultery listed.

posts: 5921   ·   registered: Jul. 27th, 2009   ·   location: Canada
id 6692814
default

Mousse242 ( member #6330) posted at 1:21 AM on Thursday, February 20th, 2014

EXH can take a cab to your place to get his car. Also, good luck with him driving it with a jacked knee unless it's right leg that got jacked. Either way it won't be easy to work a clutch, brake and gas.

posts: 5485   ·   registered: Jan. 27th, 2005   ·   location: Chicago
id 6692987
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Whalers11 ( member #27544) posted at 1:31 AM on Thursday, February 20th, 2014

You are too nice.

I would have told that guy to leave XH's car at the rink and just drop DS off at your house.

posts: 3358   ·   registered: Feb. 11th, 2010
id 6693006
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 devistatedmom (original poster member #24961) posted at 2:46 AM on Friday, February 21st, 2014

Update:

DD came upstairs:

"Dad phoned. He wanted to say hi because it was weird not seeing me on a Thursday. He saw (family doctor) today, and his ripped some important part of his knee. He told me what it was called, but I didn't care, so I don't remember. He said if the car is bugging you, then ask one of the neighbours to move it."

I just looked at her. I said, DD! That's not nice! He's your dad! She said, but moooommmm, I really don't care what part of his knee he hurt. It's his own fault for pretending he could play hockey!

She did say his brother is there helping him. I said, did he not say anything about getting the car? She said he might. I said, oh...that means XBIL will be coming here. <pause> Would it be ok with you if I go out when they are coming? DD laughed. No mom. I don't blame you for not wanting to see him either.

The funniest part of all this is she is REALLY daddy's little girl, to this day. It shocked me to hear her talking like that about his injury.

I will wait and see if he texts me tomorrow about the car. If I don't hear from him, I will text and ask what the plan is.

BS(me) 46, Two wonderful teens.
He is no longer my best friend. Repeat until it sticks.

WH says marriage is over: May 15, 2009.
EA#2 July 20, 2009. Legally sep: Aug 16, 2009. DIVORCED!!!! Signed Nov 23, final Dec 24, 2010, adultery listed.

posts: 5921   ·   registered: Jul. 27th, 2009   ·   location: Canada
id 6694724
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