Cheating Hurt by Infidelity
Betrayal Wayward Donations lying
Welcome

Forums

Guidelines

Find a Local Counselor

The Healing Library

Media

Contact Us
lies
cover
In Association with Amazon.com
Support
Infidelity -
-

SurvivingInfidelity.com Forum Archives

like us on facebook
You are not logged in. Login here or register.
[Register]
Newest Member: Artarmon2064 (45754)

User Topic: Unique experience/Need advice
Notdaniel
♂ 41302
Member # 41302
Default  Posted: 9:14 AM, February 19th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The wife and I are going through the Reconciliation process.

My unique experience and question is this:

Because of my situation which was an affair that led to the pregnancy of the other woman, the wife and I are working through the NC. Initially we did the no texting, only phone calls related to child and/or emails to our shared email if it was about the baby. As my wife and I couldn't have anymore than one child are situation is more complex.

I sent an email to the OW inquiring about supplies as we approach the birth and she responded by texting a couple of small things. I showed my wife because it was a text. My wife responded by sending the OW a text saying that all texts should be sent to her and she will relay them to me.

I have read that working through a mediator is a good idea. And I have read that sometimes this works. I want to support our marriage but I am not sure if wife should be the relay person. The OW hasn't sent any texts or emails about feelings or our past but only about the pregnancy. I have no issue in keeping the NC to very limited contact as a child is involved, we all want to be at least cordial. How can I convey my ideas without making it seem like I want contact with OW when that isn't the case, nor do I want to invalidate how my wife feels...


WH-that's me (37)
Super amazing wife (39)

1 child


Posts: 32 | Registered: Nov 2013
ArkLaMiss
♀ 14918
Member # 14918
Default  Posted: 9:21 AM, February 19th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You need an attorney. Also, don't assume the child is automatically yours. Is the ow married? If so, it could be a child of the marriage. I would let an attorney guide you in what/when/how to do things regarding your sitch.


Just HOW stupid do you think I am, exactly?

Posts: 1232 | Registered: Jun 2007
bionicgal
♀ 39803
Member # 39803
Default  Posted: 9:40 AM, February 19th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I would find it wholly unacceptable for my H to be communicating with the OW in any capacity, pregnant or not.

Get a lawyer, get a DNA test, and get a mediator. NC is NC.

There is also a forum here for people with OC from relationships, which may be of use to you.


me - BS (45) - DDay - June 2013
A was 2+ months, EA/PA
In MC & Reconciling
"Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point to move forward." -- C.S. Lewis.

Posts: 2158 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: USA
sinsof thefather
♀ 29295
Member # 29295
Default  Posted: 9:50 AM, February 19th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

If you and your wife have already agreed between you to have limited communication with OW because of the OC, and you all want to be 'cordial' - why would you not want your wife to be the relay person?


...second star to the right and straight on till morning.

Posts: 1894 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: UK
Notdaniel
♂ 41302
Member # 41302
Default  Posted: 9:51 AM, February 19th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

There is also a forum here for people with OC from relationships, which may be of use to you

I just saw that. Thank you. I will head over there and start reading. Sorry I posted this in wrong place.

Thank you.


WH-that's me (37)
Super amazing wife (39)

1 child


Posts: 32 | Registered: Nov 2013
Topic Posts: 5

Return to Forum This Topic is Archived
adultry
madness  
© 2002 - 2014 SurvivingInfidelity.com. All Rights Reserved.