SurvivingInfidelity.com Forum Archives

yestopants posted 2/19/2014 11:24 AM

He won't pick up the CS and custody paperwork! He's avoiding it! I asked him why and he said please don't judge me...(WHAT?) The papers have been sitting in the post office for over a week. If he doesn't pick them up by friday I have to go to the court again. Looks like my only option is going to be to use a process server (which I will have to borrow money for). He is making this so complicated!!!! I think I was married to a complete idiot?!! So awesome just keeps getting better....
I guess he won't pick them up because I won't help him sort out the finances? He has everything we own and we spent our savings keeping afloat there and he wants me to pay the debt...don't really know how that is fair? I guess I am the difficult one FTG.
This is what I need to remember when I am sad....

Softcentre posted 2/19/2014 11:45 AM

Passive resistance. You don't need to judge him, his actions say it all...

yestopants posted 2/19/2014 12:03 PM

it is making me crazy! He wants this but he can't do anything to follow through?? I am really not good at being angry. I just seem upset, agitated and don't know where to put anything....

Softcentre posted 2/19/2014 12:50 PM

No. He wants it but wants to be able to BLAME you for it too. Remember, YOu are thecause of all his problems....in HIS mind

yestopants posted 2/19/2014 13:15 PM

It is so true...I am so tired of being blamed for everything. I'm thankful for NC, I've been taking it way more seriously...if I start writing too much I stop and think of the best one word or sentence answer then done. I really want to say... WHAT kicking your wife and kids out didn't solve all your problems?? thanks for answer soft centre. I"m so tired, feel crazy and sleep seems to be avoiding me. this shit is exhausting. I don't know how you strong ones got through this...

nowiknow23 posted 2/19/2014 15:54 PM

Sweetie - even the strongest ones had the same battles. You get through it step by miserable step. Each millimeter forward is a victory, and you celebrate it like it's a mile.

((((yestopants)))) Sending you strength, honey.

yestopants posted 2/19/2014 17:45 PM

nowiknow23- thank you. I thought I was strong, but I am struggling. I didn't know it would be this hard. My heart breaks for everyone here. I never understood how people could be so cruel until my husband lost his soul. My little victory is I am getting better at NC.

Darcy3 posted 2/19/2014 18:31 PM

Do you have to use a process server? In my state I could have anyone over 18 do it. My brother did it for me.

yestopants posted 2/19/2014 18:44 PM

he is in another country. I am going to find out if I could use a friend. I'm going to wait till friday and hope he just gets it together. I know wishful thinking.

nowiknow23 posted 2/19/2014 19:21 PM

Honey, strength doesn't mean not struggling. It means you keep going and doing what needs to be done even when you are weary and want to give up.

You ARE STRONG.

yestopants posted 2/19/2014 19:26 PM

I'm trying like hell to fake it until I make it. just having a rough go. Thank god for SI