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User
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Topic: rant. avoiding court papers.
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yestopants
♀ 41631
Member # 41631 |  Posted: 11:24 AM, February 19th (Wednesday), 2014 |     |
He won't pick up the CS and custody paperwork! He's avoiding it! I asked him why and he said please don't judge me...(WHAT?) The papers have been sitting in the post office for over a week. If he doesn't pick them up by friday I have to go to the court again. Looks like my only option is going to be to use a process server (which I will have to borrow money for). He is making this so complicated!!!! I think I was married to a complete idiot?!! So awesome just keeps getting better....
I guess he won't pick them up because I won't help him sort out the finances? He has everything we own and we spent our savings keeping afloat there and he wants me to pay the debt...don't really know how that is fair? I guess I am the difficult one FTG.
This is what I need to remember when I am sad....
Me: 35
STBXWH: 38
2 amazing kids DS DD
almost Divorced!
Posts: 287 | Registered: Dec 2013 |
Softcentre
39166
Member # 39166 |  Posted: 11:45 AM, February 19th (Wednesday), 2014 | |
Passive resistance. You don't need to judge him, his actions say it all...
Me: BW
Him: STBXWH 'The Arse' - Unremorseful passive aggressive blameshifter. Many EA's & at least 1 PA. Dday Aug 2012. Walked out April 2013. Demanded D, now stalling
ds5, ds7
Took a while, but I like the me I am, without him
Posts: 1239 | Registered: May 2013 | From: UK |
yestopants
♀ 41631
Member # 41631 | | Posted: 12:03 PM, February 19th (Wednesday), 2014 | |
it is making me crazy! He wants this but he can't do anything to follow through?? I am really not good at being angry. I just seem upset, agitated and don't know where to put anything....
Me: 35
STBXWH: 38
2 amazing kids DS DD
almost Divorced!
Posts: 287 | Registered: Dec 2013 |
Softcentre
39166
Member # 39166 | | Posted: 12:50 PM, February 19th (Wednesday), 2014 | |
No. He wants it but wants to be able to BLAME you for it too. Remember, YOu are thecause of all his problems....in HIS mind 
Me: BW
Him: STBXWH 'The Arse' - Unremorseful passive aggressive blameshifter. Many EA's & at least 1 PA. Dday Aug 2012. Walked out April 2013. Demanded D, now stalling
ds5, ds7
Took a while, but I like the me I am, without him
Posts: 1239 | Registered: May 2013 | From: UK |
yestopants
♀ 41631
Member # 41631 | | Posted: 1:15 PM, February 19th (Wednesday), 2014 | |
It is so true...I am so tired of being blamed for everything. I'm thankful for NC, I've been taking it way more seriously...if I start writing too much I stop and think of the best one word or sentence answer then done. I really want to say... WHAT kicking your wife and kids out didn't solve all your problems?? thanks for answer soft centre. I"m so tired, feel crazy and sleep seems to be avoiding me. this shit is exhausting. I don't know how you strong ones got through this...
Me: 35
STBXWH: 38
2 amazing kids DS DD
almost Divorced!
Posts: 287 | Registered: Dec 2013 |
nowiknow23
♀ 33226
Member # 33226 | | Posted: 3:54 PM, February 19th (Wednesday), 2014 | |
Sweetie - even the strongest ones had the same battles. You get through it step by miserable step. Each millimeter forward is a victory, and you celebrate it like it's a mile.
((((yestopants)))) Sending you strength, honey.
You can call me NIK
“The most difficult times for many of us are the ones we give ourselves.”
― Pema Chödrön
Posts: 28295 | Registered: Aug 2011 |
yestopants
♀ 41631
Member # 41631 | | Posted: 5:45 PM, February 19th (Wednesday), 2014 | |
nowiknow23- thank you. I thought I was strong, but I am struggling. I didn't know it would be this hard. My heart breaks for everyone here. I never understood how people could be so cruel until my husband lost his soul. My little victory is I am getting better at NC.
Me: 35
STBXWH: 38
2 amazing kids DS DD
almost Divorced!
Posts: 287 | Registered: Dec 2013 |
Darcy3
♀ 39696
Member # 39696 | | Posted: 6:31 PM, February 19th (Wednesday), 2014 | |
Do you have to use a process server? In my state I could have anyone over 18 do it. My brother did it for me.
Me = BS
Him = WS
3 teenagers
Married 24 years
D-Day: Nov. 10, 2012
Divorced
Posts: 47 | Registered: Jun 2013 |
yestopants
♀ 41631
Member # 41631 | | Posted: 6:44 PM, February 19th (Wednesday), 2014 | |
he is in another country. I am going to find out if I could use a friend. I'm going to wait till friday and hope he just gets it together. I know wishful thinking.
Me: 35
STBXWH: 38
2 amazing kids DS DD
almost Divorced!
Posts: 287 | Registered: Dec 2013 |
nowiknow23
♀ 33226
Member # 33226 | | Posted: 7:21 PM, February 19th (Wednesday), 2014 | |
Honey, strength doesn't mean not struggling. It means you keep going and doing what needs to be done even when you are weary and want to give up.
You ARE STRONG.
You can call me NIK
“The most difficult times for many of us are the ones we give ourselves.”
― Pema Chödrön
Posts: 28295 | Registered: Aug 2011 |
yestopants
♀ 41631
Member # 41631 | | Posted: 7:26 PM, February 19th (Wednesday), 2014 | |
I'm trying like hell to fake it until I make it. just having a rough go. Thank god for SI
Me: 35
STBXWH: 38
2 amazing kids DS DD
almost Divorced!
Posts: 287 | Registered: Dec 2013 |
| Topic Posts: 11 | |
