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He cheated on our 24th anniversary trip

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Breezy150 posted 2/19/2014 12:02 PM

I am devastated again, I don't think I can endure anymore TT. For our anniversary we rented a beautiful theme suite and my WH opened up to me like he hasn't in years, this is well before DDay. I am feeling very secure and loved like things are pretty wonderful between us.
We play darts competitively, something we have shared and loved to do together, except that is where he met the OW. So the next morning we go to a dart tourney, my husband turns into a jerk and ambarrasses me. I get mad and go back to the hotel and that is the day they take it from an EA to a PA. In the parking lot, not in a car either, with her husband and all of our friends inside.
I can't understand how I could be so stupid, to believe that we were doing so good and he takes the A physical within 24 hours.
If he is that good of an actor in words and action, how could I possibly ever trust him? I am absolutely sickened by him now, I don't know who he is, I am not sure I want to wait around to see who he becomes.
How do you know if you are just one of those people that can not get past it? I have felt from the beginning that there was no hope, so I feel like a hypocrite even trying.

norabird posted 2/19/2014 14:58 PM

I have no advice to offer, only compassion. What an awful discovery. I am sorry you are hurting. I am even more sorry to read that you are blaming yourself. Please, please do not feel stupid. You are not stupid. You are a loving, trusting, good person. You were committed to your M and your WH and you assumed, as a married person should be able to, that he was too. You could not have known, you could not have prevented this, you are not to blame, and you deserve so much better. This all about him.

Be good to yourself today. Be kind and forgiving of yourself not having known what he was doing. And if you decide not to try or if you do give it another, know that either way you are going to come out of this even stronger than ever.

lilacs40 posted 2/19/2014 15:01 PM

That stinks. I'm really sorry. You don't have to know right now what you're going to do. Take some time and think it over. Does he know you know? If so, what has he said about it? Remember to take care of you!

Breezy150 posted 2/19/2014 15:21 PM

Thank you guys. I just thought since he was so open with everything that I knew everything.
He says because he goes to so many dart events that he never put it together that it was the one on our anniversary trip. He swears that he thought the physical part started in December like he told me, it's possible that is true. He drinks a lot at these things, but in my heart I think it is a lie, how could he not associate his first physical touch with her with our anniversary trip.
I don't think I can get over this one at all. Oh and he says he is sorry dry eyed just like he says about everything else.

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