Not sure what's going on, Realized this morning my drive is gone, woke yesterday mad at the world not really but the closest way to describe it. Feeling something and it made it hard to do anything. I didn't want to be around my kids cause I couldn't stop being sharp, didn't want to be with my friend cause I just didn't want to be social, and I couldn't even paint, made a disiaster of my island I am trying to do.
And I can still feel it today. I am forcing myself even to do this but I need something, I don't know what. My house is falling apart to its messy but I don't feel like cleaning it.
Can't sleep either, just uncomfortable, I don't get it. my insomnia has been for a long time so nothing new, just getting worse.
I just don't get it. I was doing good. I felt OK. I was doing projects. keeping up.
Depression? I am just tired of feeling like nothing.
I know its a matter of getting up and doing.... but what the hell got me back here again.
I know my BH and haven't been able to talk much , he's training another worker so is up late and funny hours but, I don't know . feels like how we use to be, minimal talking, but on the other hand he tells me, and he calls me.
Maybe I am to dependent on him, maybe old fears, I'd say maybe I don't like being by myself, but on the other hand I don't want to be around anyone either.
I am suppose to make some cookies or muffins for brownie bake sale this weekend, and I am having a hard time to get up and do that. It all seems like so much work.
I know this will pass but man I am so flippn tired of being this way. Its not new even preA's this would happen.
just needed to talk. Thanks