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hurtingfool posted 2/19/2014 15:03 PM

I knew that more was gonna come out. It was just inevitable. Her memory not being great and all.

I don't remember if I posted that after the current A and I got some truths, I found out she had kissed her friend's boyfriend while I was deployed. I got in contact with the friend today. I know they have fought in the past, probably over this issue, but last time we were all together (and I didn't know about any of this) they seemed to be best friends again. So I do not know if the truth I got from the friend is real or spiteful.

It was more than just a kiss, and they had both told this friend. I'm getting denials. Then after a while of thinking, she remembered that they did have phone sex. Still denying anything else though.

Aside from her friend still holding a grudge, I have no other reason to believe she has a reason to lie to me.

We had a pretty nice day yesterday, games, intimacy, helping out her family. I didn't think of the A for a good 12 hours. I wrote her a letter telling her how I felt at the time, letting her know it would probably change again as we work through this, but that I did enjoy the time we were spending and a few of the little changes she has been doing. I realize it was a mistake, probably even when I was writing it, but at that moment I felt love for her again. She read that this morning.

We've been arguing the past couple hours about her denial and memory. I raised my voice a couple times, and told her when it happen I shouldn't of raised my voice, but was not sorry for it.

She stormed off a bit ago crying. I can tell she is angry now, but I can't tell at who. Time to stand firm and get my shit together. I'm going to work on myself. I hope I have the strength to do it.

OK now posted 2/19/2014 17:14 PM

You certainly need more information as to the extent of your wife's involvement with her friends boyfriend. Kissing and phone sex may not be the full extent of her treachery. Keep plugging away in your search for the truth; maybe the boyfriend has some information to reveal.

Meanwhile put a hold on your reconciliation attempts until you know more about your WW's errant behavior. It could be more serious than the account given by the friend.

norabird posted 2/19/2014 17:45 PM

You absolutely have the strength. Read up more on the 180 and try to use it to focus on you. You can do this--you will get through and be proud of yourself by the end.