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Newest Member: FrustratedJoker (61483)

User Topic: Has anyone's MC or IC told you they're worried about you?
♀ 42332
Member # 42332
Default  Posted: 12:47 AM, February 20th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My IC has me very worried. My husband and I are trying to reconcile. I have my eyes wide open, but am trying my best. Well the other day I asked my IC to give me his thoughts. He said my job is to remain neutral and help you through this process, but I have to tell you I'm worried about you. It made me feel sad and depressed.

Has this happened to anyone?

In three words I can sum up everything I learned about life: It goes on - Robert Frost

Posts: 55 | Registered: Feb 2014 | From: Lost
♀ 42332
Member # 42332
Default  Posted: 12:48 AM, February 20th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sorry. Not sure if the title makes sense.

In three words I can sum up everything I learned about life: It goes on - Robert Frost

Posts: 55 | Registered: Feb 2014 | From: Lost
♀ 35004
Member # 35004
Default  Posted: 7:58 AM, February 20th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I use the same counselor for IC as we do for MC. She has expressed being worried about me but I don't feel it's a bad thing.

Part of this process is self-exploration. I know that I'm not the same person and my FWH is definitely not who I thought he was.

My counselor's biggest concern is my finding something that makes me happy and distracts me from obsessing about the cheating. (I've had major health issues that limited my physical activity for a long time.) Now that I am able to be more mobile, it's becoming easier.

You have enough to be concerned about. If you're not comfortable with your counselor, you may want to look into finding one who is a better fit.

BS - 65
WH - 63
Married 37 years

D-Day 2/12/12
D-Day 6/1/16 Caught him back online early enough that no physical contact took place but still devastating. This sucks.

Posts: 1245 | Registered: Mar 2012
♀ 37656
Member # 37656
Default  Posted: 9:25 AM, February 20th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My IC was worried about me because the impact the affair has had on my sleep. Over time it has gotten better, but I still have many nights when I don't sleep much. Between the affair and menopause, sleep isn't happening!!!!!

I got into the marriage, because I loved him. I got out of the marriage, because I love me.

Posts: 491 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: Southern California
♀ 41690
Member # 41690
Default  Posted: 2:17 PM, February 20th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yes, my IC has told me she's concerned about me and my health as, after almost 3 months, I'm still not sleeping or eating (lost 30 lbs). She also realizes I'm slipping into a depression, which I am, and insisted upon me going to a psychiatrist to get meds, which I'm now on. I wouldn't take it as anything other than concern, which is nice to have from a professional who knows how much pain you must be going through. If it helps, I would encourage you to tell him that what he says makes you feel sad, just so he can clarify. I'm sure he just doesn't want you to feel alone in this.

Me: 42
Him: 49
DD: 12/2/2013
Married: 9 years but together for 15
Recovering, Reconciling, Rebuilding, Restoring

Posts: 123 | Registered: Dec 2013 | From: New York
♀ 35812
Member # 35812
Default  Posted: 3:55 PM, February 20th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

After we "graduated" from MC, I went to our MC a couple of times as an IC to bounce a couple of things off of him. When I found out about my FWHs pornography stash and the "subject" of the stash, I needed someone IRL to talk to so I went back to the MC as an IC. Due to my PTSD both now and early in my life, after we had talked for almost an hour, he gave his honest opinion that I should really consider leaving FWH that I might never be able to feel "safe" around him. (Let me be really clear, no physical abuse from FWH, all my previous trauma issues of lack of safety got triggered really badly.)

I think him saying that was what gave me a real courage to be utterly sure that if needed, I would not only be Ok without FWH, but I would thrive. That changed a lot for me, mentally.

Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.

D-Day, June 10, 2012

Posts: 10056 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: So California
♀ 42022
Member # 42022
Default  Posted: 4:56 PM, February 20th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I had an MC tell me 7 years ago that I should get a D but said because of doctor/client confidentiality she could not go into details. My WH was seeing her for IC as well. Wish I would have listened. Could have saved myself this round of pain.

I'm a survivor, I'm gonna make it, I will survive, keep on surviving...

BS: me 44 (then 42)
WH: 50 (then 48)
2 kids
Married 18 years
D-day - 1/11/14
Filed - 1/16/14
Divorced 4/21/14
Walked in on WH and BF while her H watched

Posts: 237 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Colorado
♀ 40937
Member # 40937
Default  Posted: 1:56 AM, February 21st (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yes both my MC and IC were worried about me. I was in deep denial about the emotional abuse at WH hands. It took 2 months of counseling before I stopped blaming OW. Don't get me wrong I still hate her but I'm working on it. I also finally got angry with WH 2 months ago. My eyes are wide open and I can't close them now. My MC is very proud of me. I still fall but I'm getting there. They aren't as worried anymore. I let WH get away with murder but not anymore. I think I may have found my bitch boots!

BS me 39
WH him 40
Dd 7/1/13. TT 7/22/13
SAHM with 4 wonderful kids

Posts: 190 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: Kansas City
Topic Posts: 8

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