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Divorce/Separation :
Why is WH dragging feet on the divorce?

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frustrated

 Dragonfly711 (original poster member #42389) posted at 12:17 PM on Thursday, February 20th, 2014

I'm so sick of stall tactics I could vomit! I don't get this game! What is the point of stalling on a divorce? How many times do I have to say I want a divorce before it sinks in!?!? Aaarrrggggg! I battle the hate daily as it is, but since clearing his conscience, no remorse) & affair officially over(yeah right) he starts acting all self righteous & get this!!!, starts telling me his fears for reconciliation how hard it will be etc.....as I'm listening & expecting to hear OP is back, it dawns on me he's talking about us! Omg, noooooo!!!!! I stop him & again tell him I have not one expectation of a reconciliation! I quit hoping for that last summer! I have begged & pleaded to let's get a move on with the divorce! I'm done ! Marriage love all is dead!! Our youngest in his 2nd semester of college, dad is supporting son. If I file , it could financially cripple him to support son. Sons GI Bill doesn't cover everything we found out. My son served 4 yrs for his college & since ex to be has to support him I'm in limbo. I'm a disabled spouse & will get alimony in OK. So do I file & cut into sons support or wait on WH to file????? The burning question! I've had many differing opinions, no real advise or support. I'm so banging my head against the wall!

Personally, I m not about to cut into support of our son! He's a very good , stable young man who has our love, loyalty, respect & support. We waited 4 long Marine years to see our son in college. I'm a proud Marine momma & American!

In the end , he deserves the support more than I want a divorce. Well, this was humbling.........

💠dragonfly🌺♋️💠
Me-BS 49 /3 grown boys(32,30,24)
WH- 50 has zero remorse, is a lying hypocrite, & is too controlling
Married 25 years/ together 28
DD- January 2013
Separated March 2013
Divorced July 2015

posts: 185   ·   registered: Feb. 7th, 2014   ·   location: Guthrie, OK
id 6693389
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scarednbroken ( member #41961) posted at 1:15 PM on Thursday, February 20th, 2014

Even if law states that he has to pay SS if you choose you can send support to your son can't you? It's your money. Just a thought.

BS: Me 47 WH: 54 Kids: 17, 19, 21, 32 DD: every yr Ow: tons Status: fed-up. A woman should never invest in a relationship she wouldn't want for her daughter, nor should she allow any man to treat her in a way she would scold her son for

posts: 423   ·   registered: Jan. 7th, 2014   ·   location: Midwest
id 6693446
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movingforward13 ( member #38405) posted at 1:18 PM on Thursday, February 20th, 2014

Hi, I am military. Your son needs to check what he qualifies for educationally. Is he Reserves? Does he go to a state or private school?

Your son has the GI Bill, the Tuition Assistance, and the AD waiver (depending on the state he is in, his veteran status, and what type of school he goes to). All of these combined will pay for his semester and then some. Along with the GI Bill, he should be getting some sort of BAH. The new GI Bills give more money than the old.

Don't let your son's college situation be the reason you won't file for divorce yourself. Your son is a big boy, he can figure out how to pay for college himself (like the rest of us). If for some reason, the Army entitlements aren't enough, then there are student loans your son could get.

Do you really want a divorce? Because your son's education shouldn't be the reason for the hold up. Especially when there is so much money out here for vets to go to school, along with scholarships and loans. In my state, veterans go to state universities for free, including any state law schools.

Once a cheater, always a cheater happens when your cheater doesn't have remorse.
Regret is not remorse- know the difference!

posts: 683   ·   registered: Feb. 9th, 2013   ·   location: DC
id 6693449
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 Dragonfly711 (original poster member #42389) posted at 4:43 PM on Thursday, February 20th, 2014

thank you both for the info. For sons situation. You're right I could help him! I absolutely want a divorce! We actually qualify for an online divorce in my state! So I'm going to go begin the process!

Thanks for the boost!

Oh hson is in the engineering program at the University of Arkansas. Major is mechanical engineer & considering a double BA the othe in bio engineer.

Btw, "Once a cheater always a cheater!" Is damn straight ! I question our whole marriage. Sorry merf!

Thanks again!

Oh yeah! When son started winter semester, his money was sent to the barracks @ Camp Pendelton & finally got it mid November ! Dad paid all for winter semester! Damn glad of it too! He owes son a lot of money!

[This message edited by Dragonfly711 at 10:48 AM, February 20th (Thursday)]

💠dragonfly🌺♋️💠
Me-BS 49 /3 grown boys(32,30,24)
WH- 50 has zero remorse, is a lying hypocrite, & is too controlling
Married 25 years/ together 28
DD- January 2013
Separated March 2013
Divorced July 2015

posts: 185   ·   registered: Feb. 7th, 2014   ·   location: Guthrie, OK
id 6693766
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