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Personal question about orgasms

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kickintheface posted 2/20/2014 08:34 AM

Have always wondered this but never asked, and it feels so safe to ask here. So, I'm not very interested in sex, never have been. I do orgasm when I have sex, but it is not the same as when I orgasm when masturbating. I am able to orgasm within a minute on my own and it almost feels like an electrical current is sent through my entire pelvic's an enjoyable feeling. The next day every muscle in my body will be sore. When I'm with my husband (or any other past partners) I don't get that same feeling at electrical sensation, just a quick good feeling and then I don't want them to touch me anymore. Am I wrong that these experiences are both orgasms? Am I just better at making me orgasm than past partners?, that was embarassing!

InnerLight posted 2/20/2014 09:29 AM

I think your past partners and ex were/are not paying enough attention to your clitoris. You can ask your H to spend more time there before intercourse. Many women do not have strong orgasms or orgasms at all if there is not direct stimulation of the clitoris during intercourse. You can do this best by stimulating yourself while having intercourse, in certain positions this is easier than others. Sometimes a guy can do this for you, but they might lose their concentration at the key moment. This is a good topic to discuss w your husband so that he can help you have a better experience.

[This message edited by InnerLight at 9:31 AM, February 20th (Thursday)]

TrulyReconciled posted 2/20/2014 09:30 AM

Maybe lay off the 220 volt BOB for awhile??? Just saying ...

[This message edited by TrulyReconciled at 9:32 AM, February 20th (Thursday)]

EvenKeel posted 2/20/2014 09:38 AM

There are different types.

When I had my hysterectomy last year, I was thinking maybe I would not be able to anymore since I believed all O's were connected with contractions of the uterus/cervix. Now that I don't have either of these - I know that all types are not based in those regions because everything still 'works'.

I would guess what you are experiencing is both O's just coming from different stimulation (g-spot vs clitoris, etc).

Am I just better at making me orgasm than past partners?

I am right there with ya GF. I am much better with me vs others. However, I am going to work on changing this whenever I jump off this bus.


movingforward777 posted 2/20/2014 10:40 AM

I think we are all better at doing it for ourselves because we know where to go and how to do things to make it feel good!
Once your partner learns what it takes you can have amazing orgasms. All it takes is being able to "direct" them to the right spot, the right pressure, the right length of time and you are away to the races!
It can bring back some fun and excitement while your partner learns what you need, so go for it!

sisoon posted 2/20/2014 10:47 AM

Almost 50 years, ago Masters & Johnson reported that the physical aspects of O were stronger from masturbating than from coitus. I'm not sure about current research, though.

tushnurse posted 2/20/2014 11:51 AM

There are definitely different types of O for women, and many women do not reach O during intercourse, and even more who do reach O during intercourse will tell you that it's not the same, and that it's mild.

Now here's the trick. Your partner needs to make sure you O at least one time prior to intercourse, this kind of primes the engine so to speak, and will allow you have a better O from intercourse, in addition, trying different positions so he can get deeper, and an angle that is going to hit that g spot. If he isn't hitting it then O's are not nearly as intense.

If youre not too embarrassed and really want to improve things then go to an adult store, and get a few toys, one that is designed to hit the magically, always elusive gspot, and the vibrators for clitoral stim help too. Using these while having intercourse will take your O to a new level.

I am a firm believer in good sex, makes you want more sex, and the more sex you have the better it gets. When you start to experience these great O's then you want to do it more, and your partner wants to please you more, and well it becomes a not so vicious circle.

Most of all try to make if fun.

EvenKeel posted 2/20/2014 13:16 PM go GF!!!!!!

TrulyReconciled posted 2/20/2014 13:25 PM

If he isn't hitting it then O's are not nearly as intense.

I didn't know that ...

[This message edited by TrulyReconciled at 1:26 PM, February 20th (Thursday)]

tushnurse posted 2/20/2014 13:40 PM

I know this is a I free zone, but I can say that his A freed me sexually ....Kinda like I dont' have anything to loose, so I'm gonna enjoy it.

And 5 years out still going at it like a couple of kids.....

purplejacket4 posted 2/20/2014 16:16 PM

Another thing to try is to have oral sex performed on you FIRST. Having an orgasm first loosens up all the muscles down there and "primes the pump" so to speak for intercourse. This is something I often recommend to my patients when they complain of sexual anorgasmia problems.

kickintheface posted 2/20/2014 18:38 PM

Thanks for the replies everyone! 220 volt BOB...HA! That was hilarious! Crazy thing is, I've never even used one before. And as far as oral goes, while I enjoy it, I get the same feeling I get through intercourse even if I orgasm from it.

Maybe it's the fact that I didn't really love the people I slept with when we started sleeping together. My best experience sexually was with my first love, who I loved so very orgasm but I still consider it the best because there was love before there was sex.

Oh well, at least I know how to make me happy!

tushnurse posted 2/20/2014 19:35 PM

Please don't take offense to this based on what you are satin I would have to venture to say that you probably have never really experienced good orgasms.

If oral vs penatrive vs anything Else is at the same level for you it's time to quit focusing on love and intamacy and start focusing on screwing for good Os. Make it a challenge ands get a vibe and some lube and a gspot toy and have at it.

I used to enjoy it but never really craved it and certainly didn't get how awesome it could be until I let loose and focused on myself.

JustDesserts posted 2/20/2014 19:50 PM

I would suggest looking past the partners, the mechanics, clitoris', oral, climax first, climax last, climax slow, climax fast.

IMHO your post is all about your MIND as a sensual and sexual catalyst and/or inhibitor. Why are you so comfortable solo? And so uninterested with partners?

Fear, trust, inhibitions, shame, guilt?

I really have no idea about YOU, but your mind is where you might start.


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