I also don't check FB or text/call.
Remember too that the best revenge is a life well lived and keep moving to get the new life you want and deserve.
((((hugs & strength)))
Marriages that start this way, stepping over the bodies of loved ones as the giddy couple walks down the aisle, are not likely to last.
You can help that process along the same way you would break a bad habit. The rubber band around the wrist trick works. I had some success by refocusing whenever I caught my thoughts wandering to wasband. It was a three step thing - Stop. Breathe. Refocus. Here's how it worked:
I'm in the grocery store, walking down the tea/coffee aisle and I see the iced tea brand wasband liked. I start thinking about wasband and when I realize it, I say (in my head) STOP!
I breathe in deeply and blow it out slowly.
I refocus myself back on my shopping list and look for the next item.
Maybe that process (or something like it) can help you?
“The most difficult times for many of us are the ones we give ourselves.”
― Pema Chödrön
[This message edited by libertyrocks at 10:52 AM, February 20th (Thursday)]
I did it for well over a year and I think I obsessed longer because I was blindsided and abandoned iimmediately. In other words, I didn't want any of it. I was confused and looking for answers.
Refocusing techniques helped sometimes. Time helps more. NC is critical to stopping the obsessing.
Realize that you are responding normally to infidelity. It will take a lot of time to get back to your baseline of normality. You will stiill have periods when it all comes flooding back. Normal too.
This rollercoaster really sucks. Put simply, the only way off of it is to focus your mind on taking care of yourself and your new life, rhen you are truly taking steps forward.
Peace to all who are obsessing.
There is hope. Once you truly commit to focusing on yourself and letting go, it comes back, and you will appreciate it like never before.