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Today may be the day-mixed emotions

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roarlouder posted 2/20/2014 10:54 AM

Today is supposed to be the day I am supposed to sign all the final paperwork...then we just have to wait 8 weeks for a divorce certificate. I may have just jinxed the delivery by writing this.

I've had to cancel signing a few times due to delays from his lawyer, but I think today is it. I have mixed emotions. There will be relief, I feel like I can finally tell people. But I am so sad and mad too. There are so many things I want to say to him, but I know there's no point.

He's spent the last few weeks trying to "woo" me, but doesn't seem to understand, or be capable of giving me, the one thing that may make me pause and reconsider: proof he's actually capable of being/doing different. Real remorse, real no-holding-back truth about everything.

I have to make arrangements with him once the documents arrive to get a few things from the house. I so badly want to tell him how I feel, but I know there's no point. All I will get is "then come home, we'll be happy". His perception of a healthy relationship is so skewed...

My heart is broken...but I am determined to be strong. This is what I need to do, he's given me no choice. He's cheated our entire relationship, carried on a LTA whine we dated, right through our wedding and continued to once I gave him a second chance....

BAB61 posted 2/20/2014 11:03 AM

He's a cake-eater! Don't let him undermine you! Keep your eyes on the goal, freedom from the pain of his betrayals.

((((roarlouder))))

norabird posted 2/20/2014 11:25 AM

I will be thinking of you today. It's so hard. But this is a step to freedom. You can mourn the relationship still while knowing he can't offer what you need.

Nature_Girl posted 2/20/2014 12:34 PM

You're going to be able to walk through the gate into a new life. ((((HUGS))))

roarlouder posted 2/20/2014 14:27 PM

Lawyer just confirmed. Leaving for his office in 15 minutes.

I have never felt anything comparable to this. It's a death, mixed with deceit and betrayal...tempered with something still resembling love and disbelief...

HurtsButImOK posted 2/20/2014 15:10 PM

Strength roarlouder. You can do this.

He has shown you who he really is, believe him. You deserve better.

nowiknow23 posted 2/20/2014 15:42 PM

((((roar)))) Sending you strength, honey.

myowndystopia posted 2/20/2014 16:04 PM

(((Roar louder))) hope it has all gone ok. Sending you strength.

roarlouder posted 2/20/2014 17:30 PM

Thank you for your support. Signed everything. Just have to wait about 8 weeks for it to be official. No surprises from his or his lawyer, which I thought there might be.

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