I've had to cancel signing a few times due to delays from his lawyer, but I think today is it. I have mixed emotions. There will be relief, I feel like I can finally tell people. But I am so sad and mad too. There are so many things I want to say to him, but I know there's no point.
He's spent the last few weeks trying to "woo" me, but doesn't seem to understand, or be capable of giving me, the one thing that may make me pause and reconsider: proof he's actually capable of being/doing different. Real remorse, real no-holding-back truth about everything.
I have to make arrangements with him once the documents arrive to get a few things from the house. I so badly want to tell him how I feel, but I know there's no point. All I will get is "then come home, we'll be happy". His perception of a healthy relationship is so skewed...
My heart is broken...but I am determined to be strong. This is what I need to do, he's given me no choice. He's cheated our entire relationship, carried on a LTA whine we dated, right through our wedding and continued to once I gave him a second chance....
((((roarlouder))))
I have never felt anything comparable to this. It's a death, mixed with deceit and betrayal...tempered with something still resembling love and disbelief...
He has shown you who he really is, believe him. You deserve better.
"I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel". –Maya Angelou
“The most difficult times for many of us are the ones we give ourselves.” ― Pema Chödrön
"'Cause there's a side to you that I never knew, never knew. All the things you'd say, they were never true, never true " Set Fire to the Rain Adele
