As divorce draws near, many ephipany's are surfacing. Some stick around as is their nature and some fly out of my head as quickly as they entered, lol.
The latest one I will post in hope that it may help anybody, sooner than I learned it, because it helps me with dealing with Perv when a cricket is not a possible answer. At times those little buggers you just can't slip to them.
What I'm discovering is that he and a few other Ws I know of locally begin very quickly to live their new lives as if they never cheated in the first place. This stunned me for a while because of the length of time he lived his DL (double life).
If it was an ONS or something else then I could possible imagine it, but it would be a stretch for my brain full of boundaries.
It simply amazes me, this way of thinking, that he can think of himself as this everyday, wonderful citizen, kindness itself.
Yet me, the BS, continues on my own journey through hell with all of the stuff still in my head. It is larger than life sometimes, as I raise this baby by myself and his older sibling and say good bye to the in laws as OW moves in.
So anyway, when I think of those elements of his personality, I can plan better how to reply, if that makes any sense. And with the high level of narcissism he has, I do better nowadays.
FWIW, during the mediation process with a highly functioning NPD person, what I'm learning too, is that anything I "want" from him, I have to be prepared to accept for myself, especially when it has to do with kid issues. Until I can regroup and look for a loophole.
[This message edited by Ashland13 at 2:03 PM, February 20th (Thursday)]
You gave me nothing and now it's all I've got - Bono
A person is a person, no matter how small. -Dr. Suess
Perserverance and spirit have done wonders in all ages.