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Newest Member: tfiehn (49856)

User Topic: What is connection?
♀ 42355
Member # 42355
Default  Posted: 5:29 PM, February 20th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

What does this word mean to you? I have spent the last year trying to explain to my fWH that we lack a strong connection in our marriage and we need to work toward this. He just looks at me blankly and says he doesn't know what I mean by 'connection.' I have tried to explain what it means to me, but he just doesn't see what it is I'm striving for.

Maybe you all have a different way I can explain it.

Me BS 51
Him fWH 50
Dday 2-12-13
Married 21 years

Me: BW 51
Him: WH 51
DDay: 2/12/13
Married 21 years
DD 15

Posts: 17 | Registered: Feb 2014
♀ 18814
Member # 18814
Default  Posted: 5:38 PM, February 20th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Have you both read "the five languages of love"? I think that maybe a step to establish some "connection". It's a type of word that is better explained through experience rather than through words.

Love is a choice.

True love is harder to come by than soul mates. True love requires work.

Ignorance can be cured with knowledge. There is no cure for being an idiot.

Posts: 927 | Registered: Mar 2008
♀ 41192
Member # 41192
Default  Posted: 6:11 PM, February 20th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Connection for me is wanting to be with that person, have deep conversations, want to tell them important things going on, being able to discuss feelings with them, feel close to them, think about them, attracted to them and to feel it back

Me: 34 BS 2 boys (3 & 6)
Him: 34 EXWH, SA/NPD, Craigslist, porn, cam sites. EA/PA with disgusting co-worker troll
Too many DDays 9/13-1/15, too many chances to be a good man
Together 16 yrs, married 7yrs,
Divorced 2/11/15
I deserve to be the ONLY one

Posts: 1317 | Registered: Nov 2013
♀ 40032
Member # 40032
Default  Posted: 6:56 PM, February 20th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My fWH and I have a strong bond which is what held us together during the worst of this. Even though he cheated he wanted to stop right away and his greatest fear was losing me when I found out.

I guess this is a sort of connection but I don't use that word.

BW- late 50's (me) PTSD WH-early 60's M 34 T 36 Ashley Mad hackers r my heroes. Multiple DDs: Jan 2013-1CL Ho, Aug 2015-Online cheating/porn (2008-2014), Sep 2015-CL ho and 2AM ONSs (2009-2010)

Posts: 987 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: USA
♀ 40779
Member # 40779
Default  Posted: 6:52 AM, February 21st (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

To me it is wanting to spend the rest of your life sharing with that person. Sharing new places, ideas, thoughts, and old. It is knowing that they are there for you no matter what. It is looking into their eyes and knowing that you are special to them. It is growing old together and still having fun after the kids are grown. Its about sharing dreams.

BW 41(me)
WH 41
DDay 1 07/31/13 ONS with beaverface
DDay 2 05/09/14 texts to another woman (not returned)
I live a real life fairy tale. I married prince charming. He kissed a troll. He turned into a frog.

Posts: 300 | Registered: Sep 2013
Topic Posts: 5

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