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Newest Member: Port (45718)

User Topic: stbx is cooking in the kitchen
Leia
♀ 42510
Member # 42510
Default  Posted: 6:14 PM, February 20th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

...just a vent....love to write...So, due to the health--mental and physical--of my children I had to let STBXH back into the house and let him cook his damn pizza in my oven. Tonight is his night for the kids, but the kids are so damn exhausted that they don't know which way is up right now. I'm currently hiding in the bedroom because, well, I'm not spending time with the ass. The problem is he keeps digging for information and he isn't good at it at all. No class, or discretion (DUH! just figuring this out). He keeps asking me if I've "figured anything out". I finally had to 'fess to having my own bank account. I am so so so glad that I chose a different bank, as he went to the same bank our joint account is at. It was nice to see his shocked expression. I didn't tell him which of the other two banks in our town I went to. Anyway, I don't know what information he is looking for, or what he thinks I need to "figure out" but he is going to be so shocked when he hears from my attorney. Like I told someone else, this is just rope that I'm giving him to hang himself. Dumbass. Thanks. It helps to write this down and vent it out here.


"Somebody get this walking carpet out of my way." Princess Leia, Star Wars

Posts: 296 | Registered: Feb 2014 | From: Kansas
HurtsButImOK
♀ 38865
Member # 38865
Default  Posted: 6:43 PM, February 20th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((Hugs))) and welcome.

Just a word of caution, letting your stbx use your home may make the situation more confusing for your kids. You are allowed to say no. He should be living within his means, including choosing a menu that he has the facilities to make.

This shit is hard and I sucked at breaking away and maintaining NC in the early days. It wasn't until I went full NC that I was able to start healing. I understand that you have kids and are trying to make it as easy as possible for them. Unfortunately i worry that they won't start to fully accept the change until they see a clear break and are given time to adjust.

It is good that you are removing yourself from the situation.


Me: Awesome - 35.... ummm, not anymore

"I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel". –Maya Angelou


Posts: 756 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Australia
Nature_Girl
♀ 32554
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 6:51 PM, February 20th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Just a word of caution, letting your stbx use your home may make the situation more confusing for your kids. You are allowed to say no. He should be living within his means, including choosing a menu that he has the facilities to make.

Please heed this.

I cannot for the life of me understand why you need to let him back into the house to cook a pizza? That makes NO sense.


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - DIVORCED!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wJgjyDFfJuU

Posts: 10012 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
Leia
♀ 42510
Member # 42510
Default  Posted: 6:54 PM, February 20th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks HurtsButImOk. That is sound advice, and I would love NC. However, STBXH left me in legal limbo. I cannot legally not let him use the house. I didn't have a snowball's chance in hell to outmaneuver him. As soon as I get some legal protection (my attorney is working on it and I signed the papers this week) then I will totally go NC--email only. I've read the threads where NC has seemed to make such a difference. After these awkward moments, I can see where that is a life saver. Thanks again.


"Somebody get this walking carpet out of my way." Princess Leia, Star Wars

Posts: 296 | Registered: Feb 2014 | From: Kansas
Topic Posts: 4

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