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whiteflower99 posted 2/20/2014 20:57 PM

I am scared of being alone.
There I said it. It's supposed to make it easier to deal with, right?

nowiknow23 posted 2/20/2014 21:02 PM

((((whiteflower)))) It does, honey. Acknowledging it does help.

Williesmom posted 2/20/2014 21:02 PM

You have us. You are not alone. ((White).

MadeOfScars posted 2/20/2014 21:03 PM

(((whiteflower99)))

Admitting it does help, but yeah, there's no wand that just makes everything better. Look at it this way - would you rather be alone, or with the wrong person? Also, who says you won't find someone else when YOU are ready? IDK if that helps at all, but I wanted you to know we're listening and we have your back 100%, so in a way, you're never alone.

scarednbroken posted 2/20/2014 21:03 PM

((((Whiteflower)))))

I don't know if it makes it easier or not. I'm scared too. I know that I will probably be romantically alone the rest of my life. But I will have my children and grandchildren to fill my heart.

MadeOfScars posted 2/20/2014 21:11 PM

I know that I will probably be romantically alone the rest of my life

Only if you want that to be the case. I really know that you can have another chance at true love. Not just saying that to make you feel better. Wish I knew what else to say, but just know you are worthy of love.

tryingagain74 posted 2/20/2014 21:12 PM

Alone is different from lonely.

I was lonely in my marriage. Right now, I'm alone, but I'm fulfilled and much happier with my life than I had been for years. That's what was difficult for me to admit and acknowledge-- that I was lonely without being alone.

I know it's scary, but once you get there... you'll wonder why you didn't get there sooner.

(((whiteflower99)))

whiteflower99 posted 2/20/2014 21:17 PM

I'm so tired of pretending I'm ok. I have a plan, back in school get my degree in 18 months which is about as long as it will take me to fix my credit. I have a client base here with my mom. After two years I build a house on her properly for my kids and me. But all of this was supposed to be done WITH HIM.
Now I am facing my mother's deteriorating health, and everything ALONE.
While he gets off free as a bird, no worries.
It isn't fair, and don't I sound like a wee babe right now.
I know no one said anything about "fair" but dammit I EXPECTED him to hold up his end of our marriage.

I hold it together for my kids, they need to see me strong. But inside I am screaming.

MadeOfScars posted 2/20/2014 21:24 PM

I won't try to compare our situations apples to apples, but man oh man did this ring true -

While he gets off free as a bird, no worries.

Change "he" to "she" and thats what still burns me up the most. One thing I do know about my situation is she is running while I'm left to face our past head on, and I will be SO much better for it. That drives me and gives me purpose. The WS always seems to get off easy at first, but that way that can light a fire under the betrayed is ultimately a gift. Not sure if you know this Garth Brooks song, but -

After seven years of marriage
He wanted out
Now after seven months of freedom
It's clear that there's no doubt

She's gonna make it
And he never will
He's at the foot of the mountain
And she's over that hill
He's sinkin' at sea
And her sails are filled
She's gonna make it
And he never will

Tailor these lyrics to your situation and believe in it fully. Peace and strength be with you.

myowndystopia posted 2/20/2014 21:34 PM

I used to be the same way. Then it dawned in me- I had been alone for awhile. I was physically and emotionally alone while he was off screwing OW then he would climb into my bed not even saying good night. No good mornings, no how was your day. No you look nice. I had been alone long before I realized it!

risingfromashes posted 2/20/2014 21:37 PM

I understand. I was afraid of being alone. I was afraid of the daunting road to rebuild my life. Then I realized I would be more afraid to wake up next to someone who continued to have sex with prostitutes. The person that was supposed to be my partner, who continued to treat my life as collateral damage to his agenda.

You can do this! When it is more frightening to think about staying with the WS than being alone you know what you have to do.

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