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Newest Member: Mlynm (61831)

User Topic: OW or OM
♀ 42110
Member # 42110
Default  Posted: 7:37 AM, February 21st (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I read a post a few days ago about why we R with our WS but never R with OW or OM (the context of the post was that the OW was a BF). The post and the responses to it stayed with me and have been running through my head because I could never reconcile my hate for the OW which is fairly constant with my hate for my WH (which I am able to let go of occasionally) with the fact that it was WH who broke his vows to me.

The most significant thing that has stuck with me is that we choose to R with our WSs and salvage our marriage because that is the primary relationship and it is hard enough to do that without expending additional energy on the OW/OM.

Me -BW
Him - WH
Dday 7/11/2013
DS - 12 and DD - 16

Posts: 334 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Northeast
♀ 24786
Member # 24786
Default  Posted: 7:48 AM, February 21st (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

OW was an acquaintance through FWH as she was a ho-worker of his.

There is no way in hell I would ever want to speak to her again.

I agree with what you said about the fact we forgive our spouses if we R but I don't see why I should go out of my way to R with It!

I have forgiven her for what she did but R with her in any way?

I would rather eat snot with a slatted fork whilst attached to a highwire via my nipples than ever have a 'relationship' with OW as the former would be less painful and far more palatable in every way!

ETA Typo's

[This message edited by MrsDoubtfire at 7:49 AM, February 21st (Friday)]

BS(Me) FWH(Him) DDay 05.09
A went underground. True R 02.10
I won't let another woman reap the benefit of enjoying the man my H has now becomeć

Posts: 1622 | Registered: Jul 2009
♀ 41900
Member # 41900
Helpless  Posted: 10:47 AM, February 21st (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My relationship with the OW, who was a family friend is dead. My husband made vows to me. She betrayed my trust but she's dead to me. I hope never to see her again. I told my husband who is her daughters godfather that he would never have a relationship with his god daughter again. That relationship is dead.

Posts: 112 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Southern California
million tears
♀ 24416
Member # 24416
Default  Posted: 12:03 PM, February 21st (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

LOL MrsDoubtfire...I needed a laugh and I agree with you. I doubt there is anything that would make me forgive the OW.

I think a big part of it is that we have shared more of a life with our WSs. Kids for example. (I'm sure there are many as a lot don't have any kids)

The OW is expendable.

2 year LTA-double betrayal, D-day 1-26-2009 and many months of TT.

Married 27 years. Together 29.

3 children 24, 21, 14

OW sex addict and romance addict according to MC. WH just your ordinary asshole.

Posts: 1673 | Registered: Jun 2009
Topic Posts: 4

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