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OW or OM

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 Ivyivy (original poster member #42110) posted at 1:37 PM on Friday, February 21st, 2014

I read a post a few days ago about why we R with our WS but never R with OW or OM (the context of the post was that the OW was a BF). The post and the responses to it stayed with me and have been running through my head because I could never reconcile my hate for the OW which is fairly constant with my hate for my WH (which I am able to let go of occasionally) with the fact that it was WH who broke his vows to me.

The most significant thing that has stuck with me is that we choose to R with our WSs and salvage our marriage because that is the primary relationship and it is hard enough to do that without expending additional energy on the OW/OM.

Me -BW
Him - WH
LTA
Dday 7/11/2013
DS - 12 and DD - 16

posts: 334   ·   registered: Jan. 18th, 2014   ·   location: Northeast
id 6695178
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MrsDoubtfire ( member #24786) posted at 1:48 PM on Friday, February 21st, 2014

OW was an acquaintance through FWH as she was a ho-worker of his.

There is no way in hell I would ever want to speak to her again.

I agree with what you said about the fact we forgive our spouses if we R but I don't see why I should go out of my way to R with It!

I have forgiven her for what she did but R with her in any way?

I would rather eat snot with a slatted fork whilst attached to a highwire via my nipples than ever have a 'relationship' with OW as the former would be less painful and far more palatable in every way!

ETA Typo's

[This message edited by MrsDoubtfire at 7:49 AM, February 21st (Friday)]

BS(Me) FWH(Him) DDay 05.09
A went underground. True R 02.10
I won't let another woman reap the benefit of enjoying the man my H has now become†

posts: 1634   ·   registered: Jul. 12th, 2009
id 6695190
helpless

beautytoashes5 ( member #41900) posted at 4:47 PM on Friday, February 21st, 2014

My relationship with the OW, who was a family friend is dead. My husband made vows to me. She betrayed my trust but she's dead to me. I hope never to see her again. I told my husband who is her daughters godfather that he would never have a relationship with his god daughter again. That relationship is dead.

posts: 112   ·   registered: Jan. 3rd, 2014   ·   location: Southern California
id 6695452
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million tears ( member #24416) posted at 6:03 PM on Friday, February 21st, 2014

LOL MrsDoubtfire...I needed a laugh and I agree with you. I doubt there is anything that would make me forgive the OW.

I think a big part of it is that we have shared more of a life with our WSs. Kids for example. (I'm sure there are many as a lot don't have any kids)

The OW is expendable.

posts: 1677   ·   registered: Jun. 15th, 2009
id 6695596
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