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Newest Member: Starrystarrynight

Divorce/Separation :
Sad to be back

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 FREEFALLNOCHUTE (original poster member #21003) posted at 3:31 AM on Saturday, February 22nd, 2014

Well it seems we have come full circle after taking him back after cheating and again after his arrest for hitting me I just find out he's had cancer for about a year now! His reason for not telling me is the same reasons he cheated and so after 6 years we start this crap all over again. He set me up good this time and I am much worse off than I wouldst been the first time.

posts: 1540   ·   registered: Sep. 11th, 2008
id 6696460
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gonnabe2016 ( member #34823) posted at 3:37 AM on Saturday, February 22nd, 2014

I'm so sorry.

"Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive." - Sir Walter Scott

In my effort to be *concise*, I often come off as blunt and harsh. Sorry, don't mean to be offensive.

posts: 9241   ·   registered: Feb. 15th, 2012   ·   location: Midwest
id 6696467
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nowiknow23 ( member #33226) posted at 3:39 AM on Saturday, February 22nd, 2014

((((freefall)))) I'm so very sorry, honey.

You can call me NIK

And never grow a wishbone, daughter, where your backbone ought to be.
― Sarah McMane

posts: 40250   ·   registered: Aug. 29th, 2011
id 6696469
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 FREEFALLNOCHUTE (original poster member #21003) posted at 3:56 AM on Saturday, February 22nd, 2014

And now to top it all off he told my best friend he wants my kids to be with him!

posts: 1540   ·   registered: Sep. 11th, 2008
id 6696489
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ThoughtIKnewYa ( member #18449) posted at 3:59 AM on Saturday, February 22nd, 2014

(((FFNC))) I missed you and thought about you often.

What kind of cancer does he say he has? Why would it be in the best interests of your kids to be with him? Can he properly care for them while fighting cancer?

posts: 12227   ·   registered: Mar. 3rd, 2008
id 6696492
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careerlady ( member #16958) posted at 4:34 AM on Saturday, February 22nd, 2014

Wait so you are here because he didn't tell you about his cancer or did he cheat again. He told your best friend he wants a divorce and full custody or what? The post was a little terse for me

Me (BS, 35); The Snake (WS, 36) 13yrs together; 1 baby boy (DOB 7/12)
Serial cheater-Multiple OWs, Multiple D-Days
D by default 5/3/14!
In house 8 mos, moved out 7/1!!!
Summary: http://youtu.be/iaysTVcounI

posts: 949   ·   registered: Nov. 10th, 2007   ·   location: Northern California
id 6696523
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 FREEFALLNOCHUTE (original poster member #21003) posted at 4:54 AM on Saturday, February 22nd, 2014

He has thyroid and testicular cancer... we had been doing really well however the dealbreaker is he lied to me for over a year. He's been having treatments for a year. He doesn't want a divorce and according to him the kids are less stressed with him. I am more vocal about things than he is. But he works to much and there's that whole arrest thing... I am just really hurt that we went through all of that and he didn't learn a damned thing! I wanna makecit clear I am not leaving him cause he's sick it's the dishonesty. I found out while we were arguing and he told me I was such a bad wife I didn't notice he was sick! He told me he was on a weight loss program and I didn't question him in further. So he hid it from me then tells me i'm a bad wife for not helping him! We are both working emergency jobs and hardly see each other so no I didn't see the difference and the weight loss he said was due to the program

posts: 1540   ·   registered: Sep. 11th, 2008
id 6696555
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ThoughtIKnewYa ( member #18449) posted at 5:08 AM on Saturday, February 22nd, 2014

Can you verify his cancer status? I've seen a LOT of cancer and something seems off, here, to me.

posts: 12227   ·   registered: Mar. 3rd, 2008
id 6696567
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 FREEFALLNOCHUTE (original poster member #21003) posted at 6:01 AM on Saturday, February 22nd, 2014

Not really he has not included me in any of that and due to hipa laws they won't release info to me

posts: 1540   ·   registered: Sep. 11th, 2008
id 6696590
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ThoughtIKnewYa ( member #18449) posted at 6:16 AM on Saturday, February 22nd, 2014

So, he lost weight. Did he have times where he was VERY sick?

posts: 12227   ·   registered: Mar. 3rd, 2008
id 6696602
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 FREEFALLNOCHUTE (original poster member #21003) posted at 12:26 PM on Saturday, February 22nd, 2014

Just once with a sinus infection but he's a fireman so I don't see him that often

posts: 1540   ·   registered: Sep. 11th, 2008
id 6696686
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turtle72 ( member #21773) posted at 1:06 PM on Saturday, February 22nd, 2014

My BIL told me sister he had lung cancer to make her back down from a fight after his A. He didn't have cancer. Told her how horrible she was for selfishly thinking of herself while he bravely fought this alone. (This was 15 years ago and I might kick him in the balls when I see him tomorrow.)

Whether your H has cancer or not, the outcome is he lied, majorly. I am so sorry.

Me: 41 BS/WW/BS
2 kids 9 & 11, 3 steps 20, 8 and 3
BS 1st DDay 10/14/08, 5 mo. PA w/ MOW
WW 2nd D-Day 3/22/10, my exit A with HS BF
Separated 4/19/10
Married H #2 10/8/11
BS latest Dday 12/28/13 - PA w/ single COW

posts: 2207   ·   registered: Nov. 24th, 2008   ·   location: Massachusetts
id 6696711
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BAB61 ( member #41181) posted at 4:43 PM on Saturday, February 22nd, 2014

Sounds fishy to me too. I would be asking for medical records to verify his claims. How can he care for kids if he's doing cancer treatments? They wipe you out for at least a full day, and sometimes 2 or 3. I know more than a few people doing radiation and chemo. It's not something you can do and continue to be a fully operational fireman. That job is way too physical. I call bullshit!

Boss A** B*tch
BS/52 Me, STBXpos/56, dd's 16&14
1st D-day 10/19/2013 EA/PA
2nd D-day 12/7/2013 LTA/Rendezvous
S 12/7/2013 No-fault state, 6 mo S, counting down the days.

posts: 1271   ·   registered: Oct. 31st, 2013   ·   location: DE
id 6696964
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Penny2013 ( new member #39320) posted at 12:51 AM on Tuesday, February 25th, 2014

Hi , I have a brother going through Chemo right now and he works as a assembly man in a factory and he had to stop working about 4 - 6 weeks into it because it wipes him out so much. Chemo trashes your immune system and makes you very week. His taste buds are shot and cant taste anything my sister in law cooks for him. I too think he is BS-ing. this is something I would not put past my WS.

Good Luck. I would push to see proof. I also agree he cant take care of kids. You may be more vocal now, but with him out of your marriage I'm sure you would be happy and not finding the need to get more vocal.

Penny2013

posts: 17   ·   registered: May. 20th, 2013   ·   location: Western , Mass
id 6699868
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