SurvivingInfidelity.com Forum Archives

TheSaraMess posted 2/22/2014 01:04 AM

Then you will not end up trapped in a horrible situation you didn't create.

The saying "Wish I knew then what I knew now" can't apply until you try to save the marriage after he cheats but yeah...7 months later...my gut was right. I should of taken the out and ran.

annb posted 2/22/2014 09:48 AM

Sara, that's one of the mantras repeated over and over and over here. If your gut is screaming, listen to it.

I'm so sorry you are in this horrible mess called infidelity. It s*cks. No getting around it, you have to muddle through it.

((((Hugs))))

Jls0320 posted 2/22/2014 10:28 AM

My gut hasn't been wrong yet :(

beautytoashes5 posted 2/22/2014 10:49 AM

That's a huge one for me! I didn't listen to my gut/instinct but it was right! I listen now... And it's something I want my kids to really understand. I tell them everyday... If something doesn't feel right... Then listen to it.

Uhtred posted 2/22/2014 11:09 AM

No truer words have ever been spoken. I knew the minute my wife started having an affair. I mentioned it to a friend and he said "you're crazy". Turns out my gut was right but I fought it and wished I'd have confronted immediately. From here on out I won't be letting a thing slide by if I don't feel right about it.

RealityStinks posted 2/22/2014 16:43 PM

The saying "Wish I knew then what I knew now" can't apply until you try to save the marriage after [she] cheats but yeah...7 months later...my gut was right. I should of taken the out and ran.

^^^That's me too. It took the following for me to finally listen to my gut.

My gut was telling me in April/May. I told my Aunt on Mother's Day that I felt like there was another man (never thought to investigate other than ask my WW, stupid, of course she lied). I found out there was OM in August, more in September, more in November, and caught them together in February. Filed for D last week.

I will NEVER again ignore my gut feeling. It's been right on every time.

sadinscotland posted 2/26/2014 14:45 PM

I kept having dreams he was up to no good with other women. My subconscious going ape.

In the end the trail started on my computer history and from that moment on my gut was telling me the game was afoot.
Every chance I got I checked his phone and his computer. I know they say if you look you will find things you wish you hadn't ,but me I'd rather know. Ignorance is not bliss.

The funny thing was he would go out of his way to let me use his phone. So confident was he that he'd covered his tracks. An iPhone though (in advanced settings for safari) has a web log of all the internet sites that phone has visited. His history was always deleted but this was not.

My gut was right every time-and I caught him 3x.

MadeOfScars posted 2/26/2014 15:45 PM

My gut was SCREAMING at me. Like others have said, I can all but pin down the exact date it started. If my gut had access to flashing lights and alarms, I could have parted traffic for miles.

There are so very many times where I followed gut feelings and was right, and a few times I didn't and was wrong. This was a whole 'nother level of me being wrong for not listening. I will never question my gut again.

If any of you reading this are ignoring your gut, please, please listen. Thats all i can say.

totallyconfused1 posted 2/26/2014 16:24 PM

Yes - my gut instincts have always been bang on.

It was a couple of weeks before I followed my gut though. I blamed my high anxiety on the fact that it was getting close to Christmas, and I was PMSing. I always get crabby and bitchy and am ready to leave my whole family just before Christmas. The shopping, the baking, the decorating, the inlaws that can't make a plan, or show up to stay last minute ... etc. etc.

Maybe if I had followed my gut, instead of ... oh you know .... trying to make the perfect Christmas for everyone else, things wouldn't have escalated from sexting to physical.

Breezy150 posted 2/26/2014 22:05 PM

I have been trying to ignore my gut, rationalizing that I am just really scared of being hurt again. After tonight I think I will go with my gut.

homewrecked2011 posted 2/27/2014 05:27 AM

Looking back, I can tell when it all first started.

Since DDAY, I have a hard time following my gut, because my thought processes, emotions, dealing with life as a single mom, etc are all over the page.

I truly think this is a very good reason why I don't think I should be dating or in a relationship yet.

Saadnblu posted 2/27/2014 07:32 AM

How true. The affair went on for 2.5 years and though my gut told me that something was going on--from the very start--I fooled myself, believed his denials, allowed him to mistreat me every day by withholding love, or by being mean,

I thought I was not worthy of his love, that I had done something so wounding to him that I was being paid back, and I believed that I deserved it. Sometimes I would get angry because he was being so withholding and superior. And then I would feel that I was being punished for being upset. And rightly so.

This was all subliminal. What a f^*&( up way to live. Meanwhile, my gut was telling me, telling me--til finally one day I put it all together and checked his email. Two and a half years later!

Trust the gut, trust the intuition, don't take it on yourself like I did.

Dawnie posted 2/27/2014 07:55 AM

Ooh I live by this... my gut has never failed me. My XH met the OW on facebook on July 3, 2009. I remember that day so clearly because my son was away with my parents for the week and it was our "recharge week"... that day I remember looking at him and knowing something was "off" with him. My gut was telling me that he was up to something but I thought I was just a paranoid crazy woman.. the gut kept screaming at me and the red flags started flapping in my face... 2 months later was D day. I soooo wish I had followed my gut when it first started.

castellana posted 2/27/2014 13:20 PM

My brain keeps doubting my gut.