Topic: Follow your gut
Member # 41366
| Posted: 1:04 AM, February 22nd (Saturday), 2014|
Then you will not end up trapped in a horrible situation you didn't create.
The saying "Wish I knew then what I knew now" can't apply until you try to save the marriage after he cheats but yeah...7 months later...my gut was right. I should of taken the out and ran.
Posts: 7 | Registered: Nov 2013
Member # 22386
| Posted: 9:48 AM, February 22nd (Saturday), 2014|
Sara, that's one of the mantras repeated over and over and over here. If your gut is screaming, listen to it.
I'm so sorry you are in this horrible mess called infidelity. It s*cks. No getting around it, you have to muddle through it.
Posts: 7744 | Registered: Jan 2009 | From: Northeast
Member # 41192
| Posted: 10:28 AM, February 22nd (Saturday), 2014|
My gut hasn't been wrong yet :(
Me: 33 BS 2 boys (3 & 5yr)
Him: 34 WH, sex addict, narcissist, 18 mos EA/2 mos PA with co-worker whore
Too many DDays 9/13-1/15, too many chances to be a good man
Together 16 yrs, married 7yrs
Posts: 630 | Registered: Nov 2013
Member # 41900
| Posted: 10:49 AM, February 22nd (Saturday), 2014|
That's a huge one for me! I didn't listen to my gut/instinct but it was right! I listen now... And it's something I want my kids to really understand. I tell them everyday... If something doesn't feel right... Then listen to it.
Posts: 103 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Southern California
Member # 40392
| Posted: 11:09 AM, February 22nd (Saturday), 2014|
No truer words have ever been spoken. I knew the minute my wife started having an affair. I mentioned it to a friend and he said "you're crazy". Turns out my gut was right but I fought it and wished I'd have confronted immediately. From here on out I won't be letting a thing slide by if I don't feel right about it.
Me: BH 32years old DDay 4-29-13
Her: WW 33 years old
“Yet each man kills the thing he loves
By each let this be heard
Some do it with a bitter look
Some with a flattering word
The coward does it with a kiss
The brave man with a sword”
Posts: 633 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: Houston, Texas
Member # 41457
| Posted: 4:43 PM, February 22nd (Saturday), 2014|
The saying "Wish I knew then what I knew now" can't apply until you try to save the marriage after [she] cheats but yeah...7 months later...my gut was right. I should of taken the out and ran.
^^^That's me too. It took the following for me to finally listen to my gut.
My gut was telling me in April/May. I told my Aunt on Mother's Day that I felt like there was another man (never thought to investigate other than ask my WW, stupid, of course she lied). I found out there was OM in August, more in September, more in November, and caught them together in February. Filed for D last week.
I will NEVER again ignore my gut feeling. It's been right on every time.
Posts: 414 | Registered: Nov 2013
Member # 42303
| Posted: 2:45 PM, February 26th (Wednesday), 2014|
I kept having dreams he was up to no good with other women. My subconscious going ape.
In the end the trail started on my computer history and from that moment on my gut was telling me the game was afoot.
Every chance I got I checked his phone and his computer. I know they say if you look you will find things you wish you hadn't ,but me I'd rather know. Ignorance is not bliss.
The funny thing was he would go out of his way to let me use his phone. So confident was he that he'd covered his tracks. An iPhone though (in advanced settings for safari) has a web log of all the internet sites that phone has visited. His history was always deleted but this was not.
My gut was right every time-and I caught him 3x.
Me BS 42
married 2 years
(2 step daughters from his first marriage 14,16)
1 baby boy 10 months old
d day :3x online shenanigans sept 2012, jan 2013, sept 2013
filed for divorce
Whit's fur ye'll no go by ye
Posts: 20 | Registered: Feb 2014 | From: Scotland
Member # 42231
| Posted: 3:45 PM, February 26th (Wednesday), 2014|
My gut was SCREAMING at me. Like others have said, I can all but pin down the exact date it started. If my gut had access to flashing lights and alarms, I could have parted traffic for miles.
There are so very many times where I followed gut feelings and was right, and a few times I didn't and was wrong. This was a whole 'nother level of me being wrong for not listening. I will never question my gut again.
If any of you reading this are ignoring your gut, please, please listen. Thats all i can say.
"Scars remind us where we've been. They don't have to dictate where we're going."
Posts: 1575 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Texas
Member # 42030
| Posted: 4:24 PM, February 26th (Wednesday), 2014|
Yes - my gut instincts have always been bang on.
It was a couple of weeks before I followed my gut though. I blamed my high anxiety on the fact that it was getting close to Christmas, and I was PMSing. I always get crabby and bitchy and am ready to leave my whole family just before Christmas. The shopping, the baking, the decorating, the inlaws that can't make a plan, or show up to stay last minute ... etc. etc.
Maybe if I had followed my gut, instead of ... oh you know .... trying to make the perfect Christmas for everyone else, things wouldn't have escalated from sexting to physical.
Me - BS
Him - WS
DD Jan 8 2014
Posts: 83 | Registered: Jan 2014
Member # 42421
| Posted: 10:05 PM, February 26th (Wednesday), 2014|
I have been trying to ignore my gut, rationalizing that I am just really scared of being hurt again. After tonight I think I will go with my gut.
I am so disappointed when a liar's pants don't actually start on fire.
BS me 41
WH 42 his whore was my friend
Married 24 years
Finally finding R?
3 kids 3 grand kids
DDay 1 -Jan 2 2014
DDay 2 -Feb 20 2014 A went underground fo
Posts: 544 | Registered: Feb 2014
Member # 34678
| Posted: 5:27 AM, February 27th (Thursday), 2014|
Looking back, I can tell when it all first started.
Since DDAY, I have a hard time following my gut, because my thought processes, emotions, dealing with life as a single mom, etc are all over the page.
I truly think this is a very good reason why I don't think I should be dating or in a relationship yet.
Keep Calm and Happy On!
me BS 52
him - 46
married 15 years DIVORCED 10 31 12
children - ds15 ds12
I gave a 24hour ultimatum then went to attorney next day
Posts: 2445 | Registered: Jan 2012
Member # 40361
| Posted: 7:32 AM, February 27th (Thursday), 2014|
How true. The affair went on for 2.5 years and though my gut told me that something was going on--from the very start--I fooled myself, believed his denials, allowed him to mistreat me every day by withholding love, or by being mean,
I thought I was not worthy of his love, that I had done something so wounding to him that I was being paid back, and I believed that I deserved it. Sometimes I would get angry because he was being so withholding and superior. And then I would feel that I was being punished for being upset. And rightly so.
This was all subliminal. What a f^*&( up way to live. Meanwhile, my gut was telling me, telling me--til finally one day I put it all together and checked his email. Two and a half years later!
Trust the gut, trust the intuition, don't take it on yourself like I did.
Me: 58, SAHM
Him: 58, LTA 2.5 years
Married 9 years, together 15
Dday: June 11 2013
DD 9 years
Posts: 63 | Registered: Aug 2013
Member # 26912
| Posted: 7:55 AM, February 27th (Thursday), 2014|
Ooh I live by this... my gut has never failed me. My XH met the OW on facebook on July 3, 2009. I remember that day so clearly because my son was away with my parents for the week and it was our "recharge week"... that day I remember looking at him and knowing something was "off" with him. My gut was telling me that he was up to something but I thought I was just a paranoid crazy woman.. the gut kept screaming at me and the red flags started flapping in my face... 2 months later was D day. I soooo wish I had followed my gut when it first started.
DIVORCED! Remarried to a real man!
BW (me) - 41 (now 47)
WH (him) - 43 (now 48)
OW - 23 yr old foreign gold digging whore looking for her American meal ticket
1 14 yr old son (now 20)
married 20 years/together 25 years
D day - 9/23/2009 5pm
Posts: 805 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: Mid Atlantic coast
Member # 42609
| Posted: 1:20 PM, February 27th (Thursday), 2014|
My brain keeps doubting my gut.
Posts: 35 | Registered: Feb 2014 | From: Colorado
|Topic Posts: 14|