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Death in the family

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9.10.11 posted 2/22/2014 07:15 AM

My "GF" had a death in her family. It was her "second dad", her son's grandfather. Very important person to them and he was well known and cared for.
I was wondering what are some of the best things people have done for you when you had a death in the family? I am lucky in that I have not had a death in my family since the early 90's when I was in college.
I typically send food, flowers, plants, or visit when I know the people well. But I have only met some of this family once and they probably don't even know who I am or even heard of me.
Just some ideas that are what you'd want/need done to make life easier when this unfortunate event happens.

Lucky2HaveMe posted 2/22/2014 10:40 AM

Talk about the person who has been lost. People tend to not want to "bring him up" for fear that it will trigger emotion in those left behind. Nothing could be further from the truth!

Let her & her family know that you are thinking of him too. Share memories, etc. A good friend of mine from HS lost both of her kids last summer in a car accident. She has said so often how much she appreciates my continued support and reaching out. I had never met her kids (we live a few towns away from each other), but being a mom, I can imagine the pain. Reading things on her kids FB pages has given me insight to their lives. So even if you didn't know the person, talk about him. Ask questions about him. Let them know you care.

Dreamboat posted 2/22/2014 10:51 AM

Ask if there is a charity that you can denote in the deceased name. If you do this then the family generally gets a card from the charity indicating the donation. That can be an unexpected but welcome card for the family.

BAB61 posted 2/22/2014 14:39 PM

^^ What Dreamboat said.

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