I still wear my wedding rings. I haven't filed yet, but I'm not sure I will take them off then either. I love my wedding rings. I realize everything they stood for has been blown to bits.
I'm keeping them because I have children. Not sure how I will pass them along, but I will.
I don't think I will wear a ring on my left 4th finger. I thought maybe my middle finger on that hand.
Sadly, my favorite aunt is in hospice now. She has many lovely pieces of jewelry and rings and my hope is that I will be given one of them and I will probably wear that one.
All of my rings that I normally wear are from WH.
So I bought myself a right hand ring. I call it my New Beginnings Ring. It wasn't expensive, less than a hundred dollars, but I love it. It's a moonstone, symbolic of new life. I wear it to remind myself that I am complete and full within myself, and don't need anyone else to buy me pretty things (or otherwise complete me, if that metaphor wasn't clear ).
"'Cause there's a side to you that I never knew, never knew.
All the things you'd say, they were never true, never true "
Set Fire to the Rain
I have always worn rings on both ring fingers so I too went out and bought a new one last week.
For our first anniversary, I bought myself an insert for my engagement ring. It was a big deal because it was an emerald cut which wasn't very common, so the insert was difficult to find.
We finally bought matching wedding rings in the mid-90s: Southwestern designs--buttes, mesas, pueblos. I still love mine but it never really felt like a real wedding ring.
Fast forward to the betrayal; I took off the wedding ring. It felt weird, so I replaced it with a ring that reads "To thine ownself be true"--my unwedding ring
After I left, I sold most of the gold items he had ever given me, including the original wedding band that I'd bought. I kept the southwestern ring, my engagement ring, and of course, the unwedding ring. I now wear it or the southwestern ring on my right hand.
I don't feel that I can ever give anyone the engagement ring; I feel it's tainted. I plan to sell it someday and use the money toward a nice trip.
[This message edited by Sad in AZ at 10:59 AM, February 22nd (Saturday)]
Love the 'new beginnings, new ring' idea too. My hand feels totally naked and I catch myself missing my rings a thousand times a day.
This is how they look individually:
XWH preferred diamonds. I have a beautiful wedding set with lots of diamonds including a large center stone. I also have three diamond pendants from him: a heart, a "journey", and one of those 3 stone drop "past, present, future" things.
All of them mean nothing to me and all will be sold when I either need the money or feel like dealing with it, whichever comes first. I have no desire to even keep or reset the stones. Like others have said, they feel tainted to me.
Follow your heart, but take your brain with you. ~ Alfred Adler
Letting go of the outcome is about the most empowering thing you can do for yourself. ~ LosferWords
In my NB, I've purchased several rings to mark specific milestones - my NB cruise, my D being final, etc.. My most recent purchase is not for a milestone, but rather to honor my parents. I bought stacking rings with both Mom and Dad's birthstones.
“The most difficult times for many of us are the ones we give ourselves.”
― Pema Chödrön
The best thing about hitting rock bottom is that everything after that looks fucking fabulous
Plus, I found out a few weeks ago when I caught my WW with the OM, and she hasn't been wearing hers during our separation. To paraphrase a text message conversation between my WW and the lady she was living with: "WW, did you lose a diamond ring? It's looks like an engagement ring. Big center stone and small diamonds on each side." WW replied "Oh my gosh, yes! I'm so glad you found it!"
The lady evidently found it in the couch. Probably feel off when the OM was having his way with her.
I'll be getting the rings back. The large center diamond is a family stone that my mother gave me. I'll either hang on to and give it to my daughter one day (if I have one) or make a necklace with it and give it to my sister.
It sits on my dresser as a reminder that promises don't mean much to some people.
He bought them, I have no use for them, and he won't be able to afford new ones if he ever proposes to APwhore--he can have the diamonds reset. Win-win-win: I pay him less money, he gets the diamonds, and I have the satisfaction of knowing she's wearing MY diamonds!
Of course I haven't offered them yet...it's all a fantasy at the moment. But truly, they are tainted, and I don't want them.
married 19 years
separated since 8/2013
D FINAL! Sept 10 2014
D-day Dec 21 2013 (after separation)
2 sons 15 and 12
OW = family friend and WH work colleague, going on many years (I was clueless)