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Newest Member: Sunflower96

Divorce/Separation :
To Let Go-a repost

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 Sad in AZ (original poster member #24239) posted at 4:31 PM on Saturday, February 22nd, 2014

There are a lot of new 'faces' on this site who are struggling with their decision to end their relationships. An SI friend posted this some time ago, and it helped me greatly. I hope it helps you

* To "let go" does not mean to stop caring; it means I can't do it for someone else.

* To "let go" is not to cut myself off; it's the realization I can't control another.

* To "let go" is not to enable, but to allow learning from natural consequences.

* To "let go" is to admit powerlessness, which means the outcome is not in my hands.

* To "let go" is not to try to change or blame another; it's to make the most of myself.

* To "let go" is not to care for, but to care about.

* To "let go" is not to fix, but to be supportive.

* To "let go" is not to judge, but to allow another to be a human being.

* To "let go" is not to be in the middle arranging all the outcomes, but to allow others to affect their own destinies.

* To "let go" is not to be protective; it's to permit another to face reality.

* To "let go" is not to deny, but to accept.

* To "let go" is not to nag, scold or argue, but instead to search out my own shortcomings and correct them.

* To "let go" is not to criticize and regulate anybody, but to try to become what I dream I can be.

* To "let go" is not to adjust everything to my desires, but to take each day as it comes and cherish myself in it.

* To "let go" is to not regret the past, but to grow and live for the future.

* To "let go" is to fear less and love myself more.

You are important and you matter. Your feelings matter. Your voice matters. Your story matters. Your life matters. Always.

Me: FBS (no longer betrayed nor a spouse)-63
D-day: 2007 (two years before finding SI)
S: 6/2010; D: 3/2011

posts: 25351   ·   registered: Jun. 3rd, 2009   ·   location: Arizona
id 6696946
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suckstobeme ( member #30853) posted at 5:19 PM on Saturday, February 22nd, 2014

I love this post - it still helps me even though I'm not a new face on SI. I'm sure it will go a long way for the newer members. Thanks for the repost!

BW - me
ExWH - "that one"
D - 2011
You get what you put in, and people get what they deserve.
Hard as it may be, try to never give the OP any of your power or head space.

posts: 4028   ·   registered: Jan. 17th, 2011
id 6697003
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inconnu ( member #24518) posted at 6:23 PM on Saturday, February 22nd, 2014

I'm sure I saw this when it was posted before, but I think I've forgotten some of this. I need to print this out and put it somewhere where I can see it often. Thanks, Sazzy!

There is no joy without gratitude. - Brené Brown

posts: 13294   ·   registered: Jun. 21st, 2009   ·   location: DeepInTheHeartof, Texas
id 6697068
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stronggirl72 ( member #37293) posted at 7:37 PM on Saturday, February 22nd, 2014

Thanks for re-posting this.

"Taking the high road, and doing it with class."

DIVORCED!!

posts: 190   ·   registered: Oct. 28th, 2012
id 6697141
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BAB61 ( member #41181) posted at 8:23 PM on Saturday, February 22nd, 2014

Thanks!!

Boss A** B*tch
BS/52 Me, STBXpos/56, dd's 16&14
1st D-day 10/19/2013 EA/PA
2nd D-day 12/7/2013 LTA/Rendezvous
S 12/7/2013 No-fault state, 6 mo S, counting down the days.

posts: 1271   ·   registered: Oct. 31st, 2013   ·   location: DE
id 6697185
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norabird ( member #42092) posted at 7:03 AM on Sunday, February 23rd, 2014

Good reminders and a nice perspective, thanks!

Sit. Feast on your life.

posts: 4324   ·   registered: Jan. 16th, 2014   ·   location: NYC
id 6697704
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