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legal limbo/score one for me

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Leia posted 2/22/2014 12:10 PM

Before anyone rolls their eyes at me, let me just say that I'm living in legal limbo. I cannot kick him out, and he didn't kick me out, therefore I have to be "roommates" with my STBXH. I have my attorney working on this. As everyone knows, these things take time.

This morning I got up, made enough coffee for myself and went for my walk with my friend. When I got back, I was in my room getting ready for today's plans. STBXH tracks me down, and presents me with the used coffee grounds and says "Shit like this doesn't help." I asked what he was talking about and he pointed out that I only made enough coffee for myself (coffee was our thing, and we always made coffee for each other in the past). I burst out with "You fired me, remember? I don't have to take care of you because we're roommates now. I got fired." I then turned and walked in the master bath. He walked off without saying a word. When I walked out the door for the rest of my plans today, he didn't have anything to say and I heard the coffee grinder working!!! Score one for me.

Thank you Skan, for pointing out on one of my previous threads that I was fired, and that I had those words in my mind to present to him. I would PM you, but can't yet. Again, thank you for pointing that out. Having phrases like that helped me out today.

GingerAle posted 2/22/2014 12:36 PM

Good job Leia!

devistatedmom posted 2/22/2014 14:02 PM

It feels good, doesn't it? It's nice when we realize we don't have to do everything for someone that doesn't show us any respect. Good for you, that's a big step!

Nature_Girl posted 2/22/2014 19:20 PM

Good for you for standing your ground. It's fascinating that he thought you would still make coffee for him. Wonder how he'll take it when you don't do his laundry anymore?

scarednbroken posted 2/22/2014 20:27 PM

NG -

I am chuckling at this. I have spent quite a bit of time lately analyzing the balance of "chores" at home between WH and I. Laundry is big. He just complained that I was all caught up with washing but his running gear didn't get done... He didn't get t out of the plastic bag or take it down to washer --- what will he do when his washer lady doesn't wash it either?? Ask mom? Hahahaha. The only thing I can think of that he does that I will really miss is walking the dogs at 430am.

Skan posted 2/22/2014 20:31 PM

Leia, I am sitting here, listening to "Jar of Hearts," and having a really good chuckle at your outburst! Way to GO, girl! You just keep your sassy self going for that divorce eyes on the goal!

Leia posted 2/22/2014 22:08 PM

I just tanked the sassy-ness of this morning. I was pissed because he changed the itunes password and I've just lost all of my playlists. I'm not tech-y enough to figure out how to transfer it to me. Then I picked a fight about his schedule. He honestly thinks I'm going to let him have the kids every other week during the school year after the shit he has pulled. He also said that if I couldn't pick up the kids after school while he is working in town (he usually travels) then he will make other arrangements. What other arrangements!?! I'm the stay-at-home-mom who knows everyone!!!

I know I've collected evidence, and that I'm going to come out the better for this divorce, but right now, it is like hitting my head against a brick wall. I let the emotions run amok and keep insisting he email me his schedule--which he won't do. That, and not knowing whether I'll get to stay in this house with the kids or not. I know the motions have been filed in court, but I'm sick and tired of him being around. He's walking around like he is in a power position and I feel so powerless in this moment. I know I have power, and I know how to wield it. I just can't do anything this minute.

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