SurvivingInfidelity.com Forum Archives

luvbug0915 posted 2/23/2014 07:57 AM

I had to cut my vacation short because my daughter needs me, see other thread...http://www.survivinginfidelity.com/forums.asp?tid=523737
I spent the evening helping my daughter piece together the last several years of memories and arrived home at around 10pm last night to find my apartment broken into. They trashed the place looking for anything of value. Police report was done and maintenance boarded up the window but I couldn't stay there alone so I spent the night on an air mattress at my moms.
I'm about at the limit of what I can handle emotionally. I want to crawl in a hole but I have to be strong for my daughter.

jrc1963 posted 2/23/2014 08:09 AM

OMGosh Luvbug...

I'm so sorry that happened to you.

Praying for strength for you.

(((Luvbug)))

luvbug0915 posted 2/23/2014 08:21 AM

I just don't know what I'm going to do. I can't live where I don't feel safe and I can't afford to move.

jrc1963 posted 2/23/2014 08:25 AM

Is there somewhere you can stay short term?

Do you have a counselor you can speak to? Maybe the police can recommend a victims advocacy group?

luvbug0915 posted 2/23/2014 09:52 AM

I think I'm going to stay with my daughter, her husband said I can stay as long as I need to. I'm going to see if my complex will let me move to a second or third floor unit.
I have IC tomorrow, just trying to hold it together until then.

nowiknow23 posted 2/23/2014 10:46 AM

((((luvbug)))) I am so sorry, honey. Sending you strength.

Jrazz posted 2/23/2014 10:56 AM

(((luvbug)))

I'm glad you can stay with your daughter. Sending hugs and strength.

stronggirl72 posted 2/23/2014 11:04 AM

(((luvbug)))

I am so, so sorry that this happened. Please know that I'm sending many prayers of strength.

I'm so glad you're seeing your IC tomorrow. Although it won't physically help, it is so tremendously cathartic to talk with someone about all you are dealing with -- even just one visit. Deep breath.

[This message edited by stronggirl72 at 11:07 AM, February 23rd (Sunday)]

MovingUpward posted 2/23/2014 11:12 AM

(((Luv)))

Continued prayers to you

NaiveAgain posted 2/23/2014 12:09 PM

((((luvbug)))) I am so sorry to hear about this!
I'm glad you can stay with your daughter & her husband.

persevere posted 2/23/2014 13:24 PM

I am so sorry that happened! ((Hugs))

BAB61 posted 2/23/2014 14:17 PM

Having your home invaded is so distressing. Have BTDT a couple times. Both times I moved. Just couldn't stay. If your complex doesn't have upper level units available stay with DD until you have saved up enough for a new place. Just mho. ((((luvbug0915))))

StillLivin posted 2/23/2014 15:32 PM

How awful. I am so sorry.
Stay with your daughter until you can deal with going back. I'm glad you have a family support group!
(((luvbug)))

weeping willow posted 2/23/2014 16:45 PM

That is just awful! (((luvbug)))

Before Mr. willow retired, through most of our marriage, he traveled for work. I always kept a can of 20 foot jet spray wasp and hornet killer in every room of the house, and I always had a can of it on my night stand next to my bed.

luvbug0915 posted 2/23/2014 18:19 PM

I went back today with my girlfriend and made a list of missing items for the insurance adjuster. We took a break and went to lunch and when we got back the place was swarming with police. The fuckers tried to get into my upstairs neighbors, they climbed up to her balcony and she walked in before they got in. She fired two shots at them but missed. When I left 2 hrs later the CSI team was there.
I'm at my daughters now, I won't be going back to my apartment until I'm ready to pack and move. This will be the 7th time in less than 5 yrs.

tushnurse posted 2/23/2014 19:49 PM

Sister you need to take control of this situation It is very distressing to have your home invaded. Btdt. Got my first shotgun after. Got my first great Dane after too.

My point being we can't control what other people do but we can certainly make them not want to target you again. Please consider taking you concealed carry class ad start carrying. It will be a while before you will feel safe walking into an empty apartment/ home etc. also consider getting a shelter dog who is an adult an trained but Has a loud enough and deep enough bark to make an intruder stop and rethink making your home the choice.

I'm sorry you have been out through so much recently hang in there.

((( an strength)))

sad12008 posted 2/23/2014 20:05 PM

(((luvbug0915)))

I'm so very sorry you're getting hit on all sides by all this badness. Sending you strength, though I know you are a strong (& brave!!) person. I'm thankful you weren't home when the break-in occurred, but I know it's an extraordinary violation. F*ckers.

Sending positive energy your way, and mojo for your DD.

luvbug0915 posted 2/23/2014 21:01 PM

Thanks to all for your positive energy and good thoughts.

tushnurse, I do have 2 dogs, in fact I am heavily involved in miniature schnuazer rescue. However, since I was out of town they weren't there (my ex kept them for me).
They aren't big dogs but they are both obnoxious and they will both bite to protect me and their barks are bigger than their bodies. I'm limited on other breeds because of allergies.

It is thought that the perps are teenage punks just looking to take what they can sell to their friends or pawn. I have 2 original, signed and numbered watercolors prints above my fireplace, probably the most expensive things I own besides my Macbook Air (which was with me) and they left those alone. No matter though, I won't be spending another night in that apartment, I have already promised my children and my bff.

My DD and SIL said I can stay as long as I need to but I'd prefer my own space sooner rather than later because I can't have my dogs here (they don't do kids and my grandson is just 2). XSO will keep them as long as he needs to, he has a large home with fenced yard and doggy doors and he loves them as much as I do so they are in good hands.

My boss has contacted the CFO and asked him to go to bat for me with the CEO/Owner to see if they will pay out some vacation in lieu of time off so I can have some money to pay for a move. I am hoping for a positive outcome of that. I had over 150 available before I took the 32 last week. I'll need a couple days this week to deal with apartment hunting, my daughter and a couple dr appts but I should still have at least 110 or more. Keep mojo coming for that, it could be what gets me in a much safer complex.

nowiknow23 posted 2/23/2014 21:07 PM

More mojo on its way.

tushnurse posted 2/24/2014 12:32 PM

Iwould be sure to let your current complex know that you fully expect to be reimbursed for all your time and trouble. If not then you will be contacting the BBB, and other outlets to get the word out that they don't keep their residents safe. Seriously.

Do you have Renters insurance too? They should help cover some of the costs to move due to being in a nonresidable apartment, because it is clearly not safe.

Mojo headed your way.