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 luvbug0915 (original poster member #22934) posted at 1:57 PM on Sunday, February 23rd, 2014

I had to cut my vacation short because my daughter needs me, see other thread...http://www.survivinginfidelity.com/forums.asp?tid=523737

I spent the evening helping my daughter piece together the last several years of memories and arrived home at around 10pm last night to find my apartment broken into. They trashed the place looking for anything of value. Police report was done and maintenance boarded up the window but I couldn't stay there alone so I spent the night on an air mattress at my moms.

I'm about at the limit of what I can handle emotionally. I want to crawl in a hole but I have to be strong for my daughter.

"I haven't stopped looking for the good in people. I've just accepted the fact that I'm not always going to find it."-Patti LaBelle

posts: 1240   ·   registered: Feb. 20th, 2009   ·   location: Metro Atlanta
id 6697854
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jrc1963 ( member #26531) posted at 2:09 PM on Sunday, February 23rd, 2014

OMGosh Luvbug...

I'm so sorry that happened to you.

Praying for strength for you.

(((Luvbug)))

Me: BSO - 56 Him: FWSO - 79 DS - 23 D-Day - 12-11-09, R - he finally came homeYour life is an Occasion. Rise to it. - Mr. Magorium, "Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium"

posts: 26375   ·   registered: Dec. 14th, 2009   ·   location: Michigan
id 6697865
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 luvbug0915 (original poster member #22934) posted at 2:21 PM on Sunday, February 23rd, 2014

I just don't know what I'm going to do. I can't live where I don't feel safe and I can't afford to move.

"I haven't stopped looking for the good in people. I've just accepted the fact that I'm not always going to find it."-Patti LaBelle

posts: 1240   ·   registered: Feb. 20th, 2009   ·   location: Metro Atlanta
id 6697878
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jrc1963 ( member #26531) posted at 2:25 PM on Sunday, February 23rd, 2014

Is there somewhere you can stay short term?

Do you have a counselor you can speak to? Maybe the police can recommend a victims advocacy group?

Me: BSO - 56 Him: FWSO - 79 DS - 23 D-Day - 12-11-09, R - he finally came homeYour life is an Occasion. Rise to it. - Mr. Magorium, "Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium"

posts: 26375   ·   registered: Dec. 14th, 2009   ·   location: Michigan
id 6697882
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 luvbug0915 (original poster member #22934) posted at 3:52 PM on Sunday, February 23rd, 2014

I think I'm going to stay with my daughter, her husband said I can stay as long as I need to. I'm going to see if my complex will let me move to a second or third floor unit.

I have IC tomorrow, just trying to hold it together until then.

"I haven't stopped looking for the good in people. I've just accepted the fact that I'm not always going to find it."-Patti LaBelle

posts: 1240   ·   registered: Feb. 20th, 2009   ·   location: Metro Atlanta
id 6697945
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nowiknow23 ( member #33226) posted at 4:46 PM on Sunday, February 23rd, 2014

((((luvbug)))) I am so sorry, honey. Sending you strength.

You can call me NIK

And never grow a wishbone, daughter, where your backbone ought to be.
― Sarah McMane

posts: 40250   ·   registered: Aug. 29th, 2011
id 6698004
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Jrazz ( member #31349) posted at 4:56 PM on Sunday, February 23rd, 2014

(((luvbug)))

I'm glad you can stay with your daughter. Sending hugs and strength.

"Don't give up, the beginning is always the hardest." - Deeply Scared's mom

posts: 29076   ·   registered: Feb. 28th, 2011   ·   location: California
id 6698012
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stronggirl72 ( member #37293) posted at 5:04 PM on Sunday, February 23rd, 2014

(((luvbug)))

I am so, so sorry that this happened. Please know that I'm sending many prayers of strength.

I'm so glad you're seeing your IC tomorrow. Although it won't physically help, it is so tremendously cathartic to talk with someone about all you are dealing with -- even just one visit. Deep breath.

[This message edited by stronggirl72 at 11:07 AM, February 23rd (Sunday)]

"Taking the high road, and doing it with class."

DIVORCED!!

posts: 190   ·   registered: Oct. 28th, 2012
id 6698025
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MovingUpward ( member #14866) posted at 5:12 PM on Sunday, February 23rd, 2014

(((Luv)))

Continued prayers to you

posts: 54450   ·   registered: Jun. 4th, 2007
id 6698031
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NaiveAgain ( member #20849) posted at 6:09 PM on Sunday, February 23rd, 2014

((((luvbug)))) I am so sorry to hear about this!

I'm glad you can stay with your daughter & her husband.

Original WS D-Day July 10, 2008. Kept lying, he is gone.
New WS (2 EA's, no PA) 12-3-13
If you don't like where you are, then change it. You are not a tree.

posts: 16236   ·   registered: Aug. 31st, 2008   ·   location: Ohio
id 6698098
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persevere ( member #31468) posted at 7:24 PM on Sunday, February 23rd, 2014

I am so sorry that happened! ((Hugs))

DDay:2011
Status: D 2011
Remarried to a kind and wonderful man - 2017

Above all, be the heroine, not the victim. - Nora Ephron

It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
- J. K.

posts: 5329   ·   registered: Mar. 9th, 2011
id 6698156
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BAB61 ( member #41181) posted at 8:17 PM on Sunday, February 23rd, 2014

Having your home invaded is so distressing. Have BTDT a couple times. Both times I moved. Just couldn't stay. If your complex doesn't have upper level units available stay with DD until you have saved up enough for a new place. Just mho. ((((luvbug0915))))

Boss A** B*tch
BS/52 Me, STBXpos/56, dd's 16&14
1st D-day 10/19/2013 EA/PA
2nd D-day 12/7/2013 LTA/Rendezvous
S 12/7/2013 No-fault state, 6 mo S, counting down the days.

posts: 1271   ·   registered: Oct. 31st, 2013   ·   location: DE
id 6698201
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StillLivin ( member #40229) posted at 9:32 PM on Sunday, February 23rd, 2014

How awful. I am so sorry.

Stay with your daughter until you can deal with going back. I'm glad you have a family support group!

(((luvbug)))

"Bitch please a good man can't be stolen." ROFLMAO - SBB: 7/2/2014

posts: 6243   ·   registered: Aug. 8th, 2013   ·   location: AZ
id 6698265
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weeping willow ( member #22800) posted at 10:45 PM on Sunday, February 23rd, 2014

That is just awful! (((luvbug)))

Before Mr. willow retired, through most of our marriage, he traveled for work. I always kept a can of 20 foot jet spray wasp and hornet killer in every room of the house, and I always had a can of it on my night stand next to my bed.

BW - me FWH - him
D Day - July 26, 2007
Married 40 years


posts: 1798   ·   registered: Feb. 9th, 2009
id 6698327
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 luvbug0915 (original poster member #22934) posted at 12:19 AM on Monday, February 24th, 2014

I went back today with my girlfriend and made a list of missing items for the insurance adjuster. We took a break and went to lunch and when we got back the place was swarming with police. The fuckers tried to get into my upstairs neighbors, they climbed up to her balcony and she walked in before they got in. She fired two shots at them but missed. When I left 2 hrs later the CSI team was there.

I'm at my daughters now, I won't be going back to my apartment until I'm ready to pack and move. This will be the 7th time in less than 5 yrs.

"I haven't stopped looking for the good in people. I've just accepted the fact that I'm not always going to find it."-Patti LaBelle

posts: 1240   ·   registered: Feb. 20th, 2009   ·   location: Metro Atlanta
id 6698410
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tushnurse ( member #21101) posted at 1:49 AM on Monday, February 24th, 2014

Sister you need to take control of this situation It is very distressing to have your home invaded. Btdt. Got my first shotgun after. Got my first great Dane after too.

My point being we can't control what other people do but we can certainly make them not want to target you again. Please consider taking you concealed carry class ad start carrying. It will be a while before you will feel safe walking into an empty apartment/ home etc. also consider getting a shelter dog who is an adult an trained but Has a loud enough and deep enough bark to make an intruder stop and rethink making your home the choice.

I'm sorry you have been out through so much recently hang in there.

((( an strength)))

Me: FBSHim: FWSKids: 23 & 27 Married for 32 years now, was 16 at the time.D-Day Sept 26 2008R'd in about 2 years. Old Vet now.

posts: 20380   ·   registered: Oct. 1st, 2008   ·   location: St. Louis
id 6698488
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sad12008 ( member #18179) posted at 2:05 AM on Monday, February 24th, 2014

(((luvbug0915)))

I'm so very sorry you're getting hit on all sides by all this badness. Sending you strength, though I know you are a strong (& brave!!) person. I'm thankful you weren't home when the break-in occurred, but I know it's an extraordinary violation. F*ckers.

Sending positive energy your way, and mojo for your DD.

You can't fill a cup with no bottom.

posts: 4280   ·   registered: Feb. 13th, 2008   ·   location: a new start together
id 6698515
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 luvbug0915 (original poster member #22934) posted at 3:01 AM on Monday, February 24th, 2014

Thanks to all for your positive energy and good thoughts.

tushnurse, I do have 2 dogs, in fact I am heavily involved in miniature schnuazer rescue. However, since I was out of town they weren't there (my ex kept them for me).

They aren't big dogs but they are both obnoxious and they will both bite to protect me and their barks are bigger than their bodies. I'm limited on other breeds because of allergies.

It is thought that the perps are teenage punks just looking to take what they can sell to their friends or pawn. I have 2 original, signed and numbered watercolors prints above my fireplace, probably the most expensive things I own besides my Macbook Air (which was with me) and they left those alone. No matter though, I won't be spending another night in that apartment, I have already promised my children and my bff.

My DD and SIL said I can stay as long as I need to but I'd prefer my own space sooner rather than later because I can't have my dogs here (they don't do kids and my grandson is just 2). XSO will keep them as long as he needs to, he has a large home with fenced yard and doggy doors and he loves them as much as I do so they are in good hands.

My boss has contacted the CFO and asked him to go to bat for me with the CEO/Owner to see if they will pay out some vacation in lieu of time off so I can have some money to pay for a move. I am hoping for a positive outcome of that. I had over 150 available before I took the 32 last week. I'll need a couple days this week to deal with apartment hunting, my daughter and a couple dr appts but I should still have at least 110 or more. Keep mojo coming for that, it could be what gets me in a much safer complex.

"I haven't stopped looking for the good in people. I've just accepted the fact that I'm not always going to find it."-Patti LaBelle

posts: 1240   ·   registered: Feb. 20th, 2009   ·   location: Metro Atlanta
id 6698608
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nowiknow23 ( member #33226) posted at 3:07 AM on Monday, February 24th, 2014

More mojo on its way.

You can call me NIK

And never grow a wishbone, daughter, where your backbone ought to be.
― Sarah McMane

posts: 40250   ·   registered: Aug. 29th, 2011
id 6698625
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tushnurse ( member #21101) posted at 6:32 PM on Monday, February 24th, 2014

Iwould be sure to let your current complex know that you fully expect to be reimbursed for all your time and trouble. If not then you will be contacting the BBB, and other outlets to get the word out that they don't keep their residents safe. Seriously.

Do you have Renters insurance too? They should help cover some of the costs to move due to being in a nonresidable apartment, because it is clearly not safe.

Mojo headed your way.

Me: FBSHim: FWSKids: 23 & 27 Married for 32 years now, was 16 at the time.D-Day Sept 26 2008R'd in about 2 years. Old Vet now.

posts: 20380   ·   registered: Oct. 1st, 2008   ·   location: St. Louis
id 6699309
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