If I don't write down a password, I might forget it next week if I don't get on the site often. If she finds it great. Ask her where she would have written it down and hidden it. That could jog her memory.
Does 2 DDay's mean two different affairs or a continuation.
I can understand how you feel, never really knowing if she is where she says she is.
For your peace of mind, you might look into getting a gps tracker. Many people use those to track their photos and trips. Go to Amazon and look for a GPS tracker.
They are small enough you can hide it in the truck of the car and then subscribe to a service and track where ever she goes on your computer.
As far as what to make of her actions, I think she is avoiding your request. All sites have an option that if you forgot, you just request a reset using the email you set it up with. She isn't trying hard enough.
Remind her - Jan 2014 is just last month.... not two years ago.
Jan 2014 is when when exposed. She stated that she hasnt used the acct since she met OM there 2 yrs ago. Again, not sure I believe this.
[This message edited by StuckinNJagain at 12:05 PM, February 23rd (Sunday)]
Lame excuse IMO.
On the GPS - my SBTX knew that I could track her phone via her Google account. I never checked during our separation, but she didn't know that. Looking back, I wish I would have. But, it wouldn't have mattered. Why? She wouldn't answer the phone if I called because "It was on silent". We all know that was a lie. But, what she was doing was actually leaving her personal phone where she was supposed to be, and then running off with the OM. I'm 99% sure I caught her doing this a few weeks when he was waiting for her in the driveway of the house she's been living in.
I guess my point is this: If you feel like you have to have GPS coordinates on your WW all the time, do you really want to live your life that way? Plus, if they know it's there, they'll find a way around it if they want to.
[This message edited by RealityStinks at 12:14 PM, February 23rd (Sunday)]
I strongly suggest:
1. It is too early to seriously know if you can R - as you said, you are still on the coaster. What you can do is try to reduce the drama in your life so you can spend the next 6 months healing. After you are healthier, you can start working on R (if that is what you want).
2. Set expectations - the next few years of your marriage will suck. It will take a long time for her to earn back your trust, it will take a long time for memories to fade and for wounds to heal. Marriages can get past this - but set both yours and her expectations - your marriage won't be anyfun for a long time.
You can do this - but there is no short cut to the good stuff
3. Read and understand the 180 rules - http://survivinginfidelity.com/faq_bs.asp#FAQ11
4. Negotiate a time to heal. Let your WS know that you need the next 6 months to a year to be a time of no drama, no lies - a time when you both will try to be kind to each other even if love and affection are hard to find.
Good luck. It sucks that you have to be here, but keep posting and keep trying. It will get better.
a marriage takes two.
You need your wayward wife to be honest. That is what you are really not getting.
After honesty she needs to show remorse.
Then she needs to be start acting like the woman who took vows with you.
Why not sit her down and ask her.
"Wife can you be 100% honest with me as well as yourself.
Wife can you show remorse towards me for the horrible decisions you have made.
Wife can you honor your vows?"
Your wife has issues. And she is mad at you for the wrong reasons.
If you two decided to reconcile but "you" have decided you cannot be open with her, support her, look at her let alone make love to her since the last affair then you have not forgiven her.
Forgiveness takes time. She has to earn it. But if you both agreed to reconciliation and then you two go and live like roommates then what do you think a person with low self esteem and poor boundaries is going to do???
That wayward person is going to continue to make hurtful, bad decisions that put you, your marriage and your family at risk.
The nonsense stops when you say it does.
So what do you say?