[This message edited by StillLivin at 3:30 PM, February 23rd (Sunday)]
Those who haven't lived it don't get it. Few men would have made the sacrifices you made to make your "unhappy" WS happy.
"'Cause there's a side to you that I never knew, never knew.
All the things you'd say, they were never true, never true "
Set Fire to the Rain
As far as the friends... I know what you mean. I recently went to a restaurant that was one of "ours". We'd been going there regularly for years, and for awhile we ate there about once a week. We'd come separately from work and meet there. It's small and the owner and staff knew us by name.
I walked in to meet a friend for lunch, my first time there since dday nearly 10 months ago. Our regular waiter was there and so pleased to see me after such a long time. He grabbed some menus and said, "He's coming? Or with the kids too?" I got teary as I had to explain, no... no more "him", no more "kids". Just divorced, sad little me, meeting a girlfriend. The waiter was visibly very upset by this. He only knew us as a happy family, and a loving couple that frequently got silly on their delicious margaritas and made out in the corner booth. He actually gave me a hug.
Yes, I told him XWH had an affair, and I'm pretty sure the asshole will get a very chilly reception if he's ever brave enough to show his face in there with OW.
They just go their own way like a tornado, wreaking havoc and never looking back. Leaving us to clean up their mess and do damage control. Like you I really wonder when/if it ever ends!!
Follow your heart, but take your brain with you. ~ Alfred Adler
Letting go of the outcome is about the most empowering thing you can do for yourself. ~ LosferWords
The song by Rhianna was playing, she said "I hate that I love you..." Aprapos. While I was reading Gypsy's story about going to one of the marriage haunts that you frequented with your WH.
I had to drop a few tears for Gypsy. I am so sorry. So Sad. I am glad you were forthright about the status of the situation.
Godspeed you to being healed and being at peace.
I would like to give some thanks and a bit of Calmete to you too Still Living.
You are a beacon of strength and self respect, a fierce warrior in this messy betrayal shit! Thanks for that. Keep on shinning your light!
Never forget what is worth remembering or remember what is best forgotten.
((StillLivin and everyone going through this)).
Its actually a shock to when I bump into people I haven't seen for years and they ask about the sad clown. Even to this day. I'm no longer used to hearing his name nor of anyone speaking kindly of him.
When they ask I have a strong urge to say "Who the faaark cares???" but then I remember they're new to this.
Its hard watching someone else hear the news for the first time - their face was my face on DD. What...the... fuck?? I'm used to it now and even have a funny version of it I tell.
I too feel like I'm smashing some part of their world. It makes no sense because it is nonsensical. Yes, he is a fraud and you were frauded too. So, how are things with you?
Everyone has immediately commented on how great I look - how happy I seem. Again, they're new to this and they don't know what that first year was like for me. I'm through the worst of it - he and that M are in my rearview mirror. But its new to them. I'm often comforting them if you can believe it!
You're going to be OK honey - you've got some shit stuff to get through first but soon you'll notice the good days outweigh the bad by a mile. These triggers won't knock you around like they do now - they'll be like mosquito buzzes that make you cringe a little then you get on with your day.
Im sorry friend!!! This really does suck. Having to be the one to act all stoic while their coward-asses run and hide.