I had to finish up the D response letter for the L so I finished it in the morning.
Then DS,DD and I went to church, and on my way to pick up the kids from the children's area I saw the youth pastor and principal at my DD8's parochial school. He asked how I was doing. I asked, "actually I'd love to talk to you, do you have a minute?"
I asked him if WW had talked to him already. He said no. So we went into his office.
I told him as he was my child's pastor to please keep my confidence and he agreed. And then I told him. The whole thing. Tried to keep it about DD8, but went through everything, chronologically, since the church marriage retreat we went to at the end of 2012, her starting to text and talk with OM the next month, everything, up to the texts OM sent me accusing her of wanting to manipulate the court, his criminal record, and my belief that she is either NPD or BPD, and needs help.
I cried today. Big time. Men cry too.
He mostly listened, commenting on how excruciating spiritual and emotional pain I was, and said to let him know if there's anything beyond helping and giving special extra care to DD8 he could do and prayed with me. He told me he'd try to minister to STBXWW only if the opportunity presented itself and very tactfully (she doesn't go to the church anymore, but she can't avoid kids' functions at school), because they are an extension of the family. He's an extremely calm, quiet man, but I think I saw tears in his eyes, too.
Then, tears still in my eyes, we had to stop because I was woefully late to pick up my kids.
The ladies that take care of them weren't amused. But I'm getting used to dirty looks from church ladies seeing the newly divorcing man. And I had other worries in my mind.
Bad time for a relapse of anger and grief. I have my kids for a long period while STBXWW is out of town. At least they're very happy little babies, so I won't really be lonely. Tomorrow I see the L. And then after hopefully I can just think of my kids all week.