That seems to be my days of late...
I am going along nicely with my girls then BAM. WH acts like an ass and I'm feeling like crap all over again.
For example, last week he told the girls he'd come for breakfast, after work. He never did. I had to manage the fallout. I asked him nicely to not make promises he cannot keep. Then he promises to get some mesh for the bottom of Miss 7's rabbit hutch. Another "I forgot".
Then... the big one... He promised Miss 11 & 13 he'd watch them dance at a performance Saturday just gone. And yep, you guessed it... Mr no show. When he FINALLY showed up (after it finshed) I asked him "what happened to you earlier" and he cracked it at me. Started yelling at me that he fell asleep and being nasty.
To top it off, OW is messaging me trying to be my pal. (And yes, I kind of opened the door on that one by initiating contact with her the week before). She's asking me how was my week, being nice. No doubt trying to get info out of me...I'm non responsive.
I'm so angry at WH right now I really want to punch him in the face.
It seems to be all on his terms or none. We have not talked about the A... beyond him denying it and me showing him the door. His attitude is he's single now he doesnt need to answer to me. Am I wrong to have questions that I want answered. I really want to, for the kids sake have a reasonably healthy relationship with him (you know, to be able to offer him a coffee when he comes and chat about the weather) but he just shuts down. In order to have this, I need honesty over what happened. Am I wrong here?? Should I let it go?
I dont want honesty with a view to R. I really want him to admit he did wrong by all of us and own his shit. Period. Has anyone felt the same?
He took Miss 5 and 7 overnight on Saturday. Initially, he wouldnt even give me the address details of where he was. Told me "they're with me thats all you need to know". I told him it was a common courtesy and I expect to know where they are. He did tell me, but was like a 5 year old "there.. now you know... happy now?"
It seems he's playing mind games with me. The only reason I can think its a control thing. He lost control when he left the family home. he is, essentially homeless. he is relying on the generosity of friends to put him up until he finds his own place.
I did say to him "you seem uncomfortable in the family home now". He responded that yes, he is buit he doenst know why. I told him maybe it was guilt/sadness over what he did. He told me "I'm fine with that". (NICE). I told him he can be a real arse sometimes. He hung up on me. Its typical. The minute I say something he doent want to hear he goes quiet.
I'm really sick of walking on egg shells at the moment trying not to say the wrong thing... I dont know why he's making me out to be the bad guy...
Oh, and apparently he's been playing "poor me"... "poor me, my wife kicked me out and I'm homeless". He's been telling anyone who will listen all about it ... he forgot to mention the reason WHY I kicked him out... I set MIL and FIL straight. Told them I had confirmation from the AP if they wished to see it. No response.
Part of me wants to tell him he is to give me complete honesty in order to move forward with respect to everything, including visitation. But I don't really feel comfortable in using the kids like that.
Thanks for reading my ramble.
Any insights welcomed. I've been reading the threads and it doesnt seem too uncommon for the WS to behave like this.