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Newest Member: Birthdaydiscovery

New Beginnings :
Spring cleaning my life

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 nowiknow23 (original poster member #33226) posted at 6:06 PM on Monday, February 24th, 2014

I'm in a rut, people. An honest to goodness chin-deep rut. Feeling exhausted, overwhelmed, blue, and sluggish. The weather isn't helping, but this goes deeper than a seasonal thing. I've gotten my self stuck in a place where I'm doing the bare minimum and not caring for myself OR any of my business as I should be. And this weekend I realized that I'm sick of it. Time to kick my own ass!

Spring cleaning is underway!

So I polished up three cornerstones of self-care over the weekend:

- Back to daily exercising

- Back to being mindful of what I'm eating

- Back to a regular sleep schedule

And then I made a list of all the obligatory crap I've been avoiding - housekeeping tasks, scheduling doctor's appointments, nagging work-related stuff, tax and financial paperwork, recycling, etc. I'm forcing myself to check at least one item off the "albatross" list each day. It's such a relief when I do even one small thing and see the list shrink a bit.

Anyone want to join me? We can cheer each other on.

You can call me NIK

And never grow a wishbone, daughter, where your backbone ought to be.
― Sarah McMane

posts: 40250   ·   registered: Aug. 29th, 2011
id 6699254
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wildbananas ( member #10552) posted at 7:02 PM on Monday, February 24th, 2014

Oh, I so need this, Empress... I've been in the same rut. (Obviously, if I'm contemplating an out-of-state move. )

We can kick each other!

Travel light, live light, spread the light, be the light. ~ Yogi Bhajan

posts: 16592   ·   registered: May. 1st, 2006   ·   location: Somewhere
id 6699368
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hexed ( member #19258) posted at 7:04 PM on Monday, February 24th, 2014

I'm in!

- Tidy up/Keep up my e-mails

- Daily exercise

- Catch up/Organize finances

- Quit diet soda!

But that's just a lot of water
Underneath a bridge I burned
And there's no use in backtracking
Around corners I have turned

“Many of us crucify ourselves between two thieves - regret for the past and fear of the future.” -foulton oursler

posts: 9609   ·   registered: Apr. 24th, 2008
id 6699373
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risingfromashes ( member #3903) posted at 7:22 PM on Monday, February 24th, 2014

Good for you Nik! You are an inspiration!

Let's see:

Eat healthy even if it means giving up spaghetti for breakfast

Clean up piles of paperwork

Clean out closet

posts: 2148   ·   registered: Mar. 29th, 2004
id 6699399
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MovingUpward ( member #14866) posted at 7:43 PM on Monday, February 24th, 2014

Go Everyone!!!!!

posts: 54450   ·   registered: Jun. 4th, 2007
id 6699428
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GabyBaby ( member #26928) posted at 7:47 PM on Monday, February 24th, 2014

NIK I am sooo with you in that chin-deep rut.

H was unemployed for a year and a half and I was basically in survival mode.

Thankfully he's working now, but I'm still stuck in the same mental spot and a never-ending fear cycle of what if scenarios.

I have seriously let go of a lot of things I enjoy and I need to take myself to task and get a handle on things before I end up on meds.

So....for my personal spring cleaning:

-Back to eating healthy

-Back to exercising regularly (5-6x each week)

-Get my house in order (literally...I need to do household spring cleaning)

-Let go of H's issues. He's an adult and needs to handle his own challenges. I am not his mother, nor do I wish to be his keeper.

Me - late 40s
DD(27), DS(24, PDD-NOS)

WH#2 (SorryinSac)- Killed himself (May 2015) in our home 6 days after being served divorce docs.
XWH #1 - legally married 18yrs. 12+ OW (that I know of).

I edit often for clarity/typos.

posts: 10094   ·   registered: Dec. 26th, 2009   ·   location: Here and There
id 6699433
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nutmegkitty ( member #33882) posted at 8:11 PM on Monday, February 24th, 2014

You just inspired me to call my doc and make an appt for a long overdue physical. Thank you.

I moved a year ago and had not found a new dentist or eye doctor, and I finally buckle down and do those two things in February, but the regular doc was the last holdout. Thanks for the nudge!!!

Me - happy!
2 DDs

Very happily divorced from an NPD since 2013.

posts: 4401   ·   registered: Nov. 10th, 2011   ·   location: MA
id 6699466
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little turtle ( member #15584) posted at 8:21 PM on Monday, February 24th, 2014

I need to do this too. Thanks, NIK!

I could be doing so much more with my time and get lots of things accomplished. I have many goals, but I'm not on track to complete any of my goals. I'll need some time to formulate a plan, but seeing others taking charge of their own lives definitely motivates me to take more charge of my life!!

Failure is success if we learn from it.

posts: 5648   ·   registered: Aug. 1st, 2007   ·   location: michigan
id 6699478
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 nowiknow23 (original poster member #33226) posted at 8:46 PM on Monday, February 24th, 2014

You guys! You have no idea how much comfort I draw from the fact that I'm not alone. NOT that I'm happy you're all in the same place.

Yay us!!!

You can call me NIK

And never grow a wishbone, daughter, where your backbone ought to be.
― Sarah McMane

posts: 40250   ·   registered: Aug. 29th, 2011
id 6699533
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Pentup ( member #20563) posted at 1:55 AM on Tuesday, February 25th, 2014

May I join?

I have been in such a rut, it is not funny.

I started the list in January, did great for a week...

Now I feel too guilty to look at the list again. Shameful

Me- BS
Him- FWS (I hope- F)

posts: 8410   ·   registered: Aug. 8th, 2008   ·   location: Not Oz
id 6699926
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 nowiknow23 (original poster member #33226) posted at 2:03 AM on Tuesday, February 25th, 2014

No. Shame. Allowed. We get a fresh slate each and every day and we celebrate every victory, regardless of size.

Today I cleaned out my fridge. Woot!

You can call me NIK

And never grow a wishbone, daughter, where your backbone ought to be.
― Sarah McMane

posts: 40250   ·   registered: Aug. 29th, 2011
id 6699933
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persevere ( member #31468) posted at 2:50 AM on Tuesday, February 25th, 2014

Oh my goodness empress, how is it that you always put these support threads together when I need it? You helped me get my house ready to sell two years ago, and now I've been in a rut too - doing the bare minimum for the most part, outside of work.

I just got started this weekend so could not be better timing! I've been to the gym 3x since Friday, not hard workouts yet but it's a start.

Next is a list of what I need to take care of...

GREAT thread!

DDay:2011
Status: D 2011
Remarried to a kind and wonderful man - 2017

Above all, be the heroine, not the victim. - Nora Ephron

It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
- J. K.

posts: 5329   ·   registered: Mar. 9th, 2011
id 6699983
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 nowiknow23 (original poster member #33226) posted at 3:13 AM on Tuesday, February 25th, 2014

persevere - we do seem to be in lockstep frequently. Thanks for the company.

You can call me NIK

And never grow a wishbone, daughter, where your backbone ought to be.
― Sarah McMane

posts: 40250   ·   registered: Aug. 29th, 2011
id 6700007
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fireproof ( member #36126) posted at 3:30 AM on Tuesday, February 25th, 2014

This is a great thread! I was inspired to clean out my closet!

Good luck! You can do it!

posts: 1563   ·   registered: Jul. 14th, 2012
id 6700021
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FaithFool ( member #20150) posted at 3:36 AM on Tuesday, February 25th, 2014

I need to clean the fridge. Thanks for the inspiration.

DDay: June 15, 2008
Mistakenly married Mr. Superfreak
20 years of OWs, WTF?
Divorced Dec 26, 2011
"Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget
to sing in the lifeboats". -- Voltaire

posts: 21594   ·   registered: Jul. 7th, 2008   ·   location: Canada
id 6700028
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Pentup ( member #20563) posted at 3:42 AM on Tuesday, February 25th, 2014

Thank you Nik! Have dug out my list, am peeking at it I did do yoga this morning and am setting my alarm to get up before work and do it again.

Thanks for this thread!

Me- BS
Him- FWS (I hope- F)

posts: 8410   ·   registered: Aug. 8th, 2008   ·   location: Not Oz
id 6700041
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 nowiknow23 (original poster member #33226) posted at 4:15 AM on Tuesday, February 25th, 2014

Look at you guys go! Awesome.

You can call me NIK

And never grow a wishbone, daughter, where your backbone ought to be.
― Sarah McMane

posts: 40250   ·   registered: Aug. 29th, 2011
id 6700077
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persevere ( member #31468) posted at 5:42 AM on Tuesday, February 25th, 2014

Okay I'm not in bed yet - not quite on the wagon yet....but it's a goal. I did go to the gym tonight and did a few productive things at home.

List will be made tomorrow...promise!

DDay:2011
Status: D 2011
Remarried to a kind and wonderful man - 2017

Above all, be the heroine, not the victim. - Nora Ephron

It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
- J. K.

posts: 5329   ·   registered: Mar. 9th, 2011
id 6700139
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BAB61 ( member #41181) posted at 5:48 AM on Tuesday, February 25th, 2014

Must be something in the air....dare I say 'Spring'? I cleaned out some stuff from the fridge AND the pantry! I also took a stab at reconciling the joint account checkbook, it's a mess. MINE I'm happy to say is just fine!

Definitely good timing Nik!

Boss A** B*tch
BS/52 Me, STBXpos/56, dd's 16&14
1st D-day 10/19/2013 EA/PA
2nd D-day 12/7/2013 LTA/Rendezvous
S 12/7/2013 No-fault state, 6 mo S, counting down the days.

posts: 1271   ·   registered: Oct. 31st, 2013   ·   location: DE
id 6700141
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Bluebird26 ( member #36445) posted at 10:18 AM on Tuesday, February 25th, 2014

I am so with you on this one. Realised a couple of weeks ago I was in survival mode just trying to make it to the next day. Still in overhaul mode though it's going to take a lot to get through this extremely busy time in my life right now.

Me: BW

Best thing I gained in my divorce - my freedom.

Life's good.

posts: 1530   ·   registered: Aug. 12th, 2012   ·   location: Australia
id 6700232
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